Andrew McCutchen performs hilarious Tom Cruise revue for MLB Fan Cave (Video)

David Brown
Big League Stew

Apparently everyone can get Andrew McCutchen of the Pittsburgh Pirates to do impersonations — except for me. When I asked McCutchen in his Answer Man Q&A to expound on his Youtube riff of Cleveland Brown from "Family Guy," he politely pointed me to my web browser. He's not a trained seal, you know! But, apparently MLB Fan Cave has more pull, because they filmed McCutchen doing, like, a half-dozen impersonations of Tom Cruise in some of his famous film roles. Here's a review of the revue, published to publicize the new Cruise vehicle "Jack Reacher" (in which Cruise dons a Bucs cap as a disguise):

• The Bob Seger underpants dancing scene from "Risky Business."

What we learn: Cutch don't do tightie whities. Cruise is actually a better dancer (Cutch is all upper body), though the Bucco appears to know the words to "Old-Time Rock 'n' Roll." Unless there were karaoke teleprompters on the set.

• "Show me the money!" from "Jerry Maguire."

What we learn: Cutch works himself into a pretty good frenzy by the time he screams "I love black people!" at the end. I would have preferred a tender scene with Renée Zellweger, however.

• "Did you order the Code Red?!" from "A Few Good Men."

What we learn: Cutch has some acting chops. He and Batting Stance Guy need to team up and do a song-and-dance tour.

• "You've lost that lovin' feeling" from "Top Gun."

What we learn: Cutch sings EXACTLY as flatly as Cruise. It's weird. Dead-on impersonation there.

• Blood-sucking scene ("I feel better ... already") from "Interview with the Vampire."

What we learn: Cutch does blond wigs pretty well. And fake blood. And hamming it up, jeepers. A little too natural?

• (One of the) fancy bartending scene(s) from "Cocktail."

What we learn: Cutch can whip booze bottles behind his back like it's nothing. It also serves to remind us how stupid that movie was.

On the face of it, the quality of some of the impersonations is, well, Youtube quality. But that's not the point. It's a great video of an MLB star putting himself out there, making himself look vulnerable, all so we can be entertained. And that's something we should get behind. Good job, Cutch. Good job, Cave.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

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