Alex Rodriguez in on Twitter now — or one of his handlers is. Either way, the word is out that @AROD is happening and, as you can imagine, the Twitter masses are having a ball.
Nevermind that A-Rod's Twitter timeline is as boring as plain yogurt. It's mostly pictures, taken by someone else, of A-Rod doing pretty normal baseball stuff. All of it pertaining to his injury rehab. All of it certainly an image rehab tool.
A-Rod's Twitter account was actually created on May 31 (right around the time he hired a new publicist, hmmm) but it's gotten much more attention in the last two days with Twitter reps announcing A-Rod's "verified" presence.
New York Yankees baseball player Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) has joined Twitter. Please welcome him accordingly.
— Ben Grossman (@grossman) June 24, 2013
"Please welcome him accordingly." That means so many things to so many people. But we all knew what was coming next. An onslaught. I spent way too much time perusing tweets aimed at @AROD and I've created the following catalog of people who are tweeting at the embattled star.
I like to call it, "The 11 types of people you meet in A-Rod's Twitter mentions."
1. The popular jokesters, for whom this is a momentous happening:
.@AROD noticed you're not following anyone. Are you having problems hitting the follow button too?
— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) June 24, 2013
.@AROD THIS MIGHT BE THE WORST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD. INCLUDING THE TIME YOU TOOK STEROIDS. AND FLIRTED WITH WOMEN DURING THE ALCS.
— NOT BUSTER OLNEY (@TRIPPINGOLNEY) June 24, 2013
2. The people who are eager for A-Rod to follow them:
3. The people with postseason jokes:
4. The people with steroid jokes:
5. The people with centaur jokes:
6. These people:
7. The people who knew how ugly this would get:
If anyone should have avoided twitter forever, it's Alex Rodriguez. You've made a huge mistake, @AROD
— Nick Yidiaris (@NYid07) June 24, 2013
— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) June 24, 2013
8. The "true fans":
@AROD ARod hello, greetings from Mexico'm your fan, you're a great player, but I hope you always keep being a better human being
— GeRoNa (@oraneg1970) June 25, 2013
9. The people who want something:
10. THIS GUY:
11. Jose Canseco, of course.
Uncensored version here.