Flatulence is a fact of life. The human body is simply not efficient enough to completely eliminate it. There’s even a fantastic children’s book called “The Gas We Pass.”
Evidently former Dallastown (Pa.) Area High varsity wrestling coach Matthew Streibig never read The Gas We Pass. Or if he did, he didn’t take it to heart. Instead, when one of his wrestlers repeatedly passed gas during a practice during the 2012-13 season, he told the rest of the team’s wrestlers that they could punch their teammate if he farted one more time.
The wrestler in question couldn’t help but let another one slip, and his teammates took up their coach’s offer, attacking the flatulent Dallastown Area star. As reported by the York Dispatch and Associated Press, among other sources, that wrestler complained about being hit, and Striebig, who has since left his coaching role for other reasons, has now been cited for disorderly conduct.
Of all the novel developments throughout high school sports in recent weeks, this is clearly a first. Prep Rally finds it absolutely impossible to believe that there has ever been a citation for disorderly conduct borne out of a farting athlete at a high school practice.
"We took it very seriously,” Dallastown Area School District Superintendent told the Dispatch. “It is something we did not condone.
"We weren't able to pinpoint any direct injury that was caused by this. … "We were as thorough as we could be.”
As noted by Deadspin, the Dispatch actually tracked down Striebig to get his take on the discipline that was meted out against him. The coach’s punishment was appropriately minor for an incident which the superintendent classified as “intended to be lighthearted”. Still, the coach is fittingly less than amused that he will now have to perform 35 hours of community service to clear the citation from his record.
"It's not a very interesting story,” Striebig told the Dispatch.