All Prep Rally could think of when it saw the YouTube title "James vs. James dunk contest" was a take off of the Chris Paul/Cliff Paul State Farm insurance ad, where LeBron is competing against himself in a dunk contest (incidentally, why hasn't Nike or Gatorade or someone come up with this idea yet? Simple and Jordanesque enough, isn't it? Someone get on it ...).
Instead, this is an actual dunk contest between two teens named James Cullity and James Fox. Forget LeBron, this is much, much better.
As fellow Prep Rally blogger Cameron Smith noted, "To be honest, it was the kid's shirt that said 'referee' while he's giving his Melville-length intro on the dunk contest that sold it." Well, that and the mustache. Almost as luscious as Dirk Nowitzki's beard ... only better.
All three rounds of this dunk-fest are so amazing that each deserves a play-by-play.
In Round 1, you've gotta like James "Foxy" Fox's three attempts to start the video. James Cullity's random missed dunk between Foxy's second and third attempts really makes it, though. Apparently, the two Jameses haven't mastered the art of video editing. Cullity's Hulk hands on his second off-the-backboard attempt is pretty priceless, too.
In Round 2, Cullity's alley-oop tosses to the groin area sure seem like he's trying to rig the contest in his favor, but Foxy throws down the ridiculous reverse dunk like it ain't no thing. Fort Minor's "Remember the Name" soundtrack couldn't be more fitting:
Never askin' for someone's help to get some respect.
He's only focused on what he wrote. His will is beyond reach,
And now when it all unfolds, the skill of an artist.
Then again, Cullity's reaction to his Round 2 dunk is pure art, too. Take that, Kobe Face.
In Round 3, Foxy just throws down the hammer with an off-the-backboard slam deserving of slow motion. Cullity had no chance after that one. No chance. Even if he unleashed another amazing "Did that go in?" face after his own third-round dunk.
As good as the two Jameses were at the art of basketball, both are lucky they didn't include the self-described "Asian kid trying to dunk" from the video below to their contest, because his shot puts both of them to shame. And you've gotta love what I can only assume is his little sister's reaction: "Your [expletive] got hurt?"