In Augusta, the azaleas bloom and the pines rustle as gentle piano music guides you down the world's most pristine fairways.
More than 30 golfers joined forces at the "Adventure Island" mini-golf course in Southend to raise £3,000 for The Prostate Cancer Charity. (Thankfully, out of public view. That's public with an "L.") Event officials sent the details of the day to the Guinness World Records in an attempt to establish a new world record ... and, apparently, to horrify the Guinness record-keepers as well.
Fair warning: nightmare fuel quotes from event organizer Tracy Jones:
"With them having to bend down to retrieve the balls from the holes, it made for some interesting sights."
"It was certainly quite chilly down there this morning and there were quite a lot of goose bumps."
AAAAAAGGGHHH. I will now go wash my eyeballs with acid.
Anyway, this is apparently a thing for some of these fellows; many were part of a crew that broke the record for most naked people to ride a roller coaster in 2010. So there are apparently multiple Londoners willing to get naked in mundane situations for charity; be careful if you're out shopping for crisps or filling up the ol' lorry with petrol.
So. Naked mini-golf. There you go. We haven't had this much opportunity to use "putter," "hole" and "stroke" puns since the heyday of the Tiger Woods scandal. But since we kind of like our job, we'll leave that to you people. Swing away, friends. Like you're standing in a cool breeze.