Each week the Noise highlights six unobvious names who he believes are destined to morph into human torpedos. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system listed here. Cyber-bullies, feel free to tweet your hindsight jabs here.
Take away his 497-yard, three-touchdown scorgasm Week 2 in Washington, the quarterback with a banker’s face has bankrupted those who invested heavy coin in his services. Schaub’s QB rating against the Giants (53.1) was comparable to Steve-O’s I.Q. With back-to-back sub-200 yard games, his supporters are starting to grow concerned – rightfully so. The Texans’ more balanced philosophy combined with poor pass protection have sapped the signal caller’s statistical contributions. More of the same should be expected versus KC. After holding Peyton Manning(notes) touchdown-less a week ago, the Chiefs travel to H-Town with supreme confidence. In particular, cornerback Brandon Flowers(notes), who will have his hands full defending Andre Johnson(notes), has elevated his game. Look for Romeo Crennel to install a 2-4-5 base defense in an attempt to bewilder another explosive offense. As a result, Schaub may again turn in another Carr-ian performance.
Fearless Forecast: 22-34, 237 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 1 interception, 14 fantasy points
Steven Jackson, StL, RB (Noise Week 6 RB Rank: 19, 88-percent started)
Matchup: vs. SD
Two weeks ago, Jackson was on the fast-track to legitimizing his Round 1 price tag. The bulldozing back was coming off his third-straight double-digit fantasy performance and the passing attack, spearheaded by a rapidly maturing Sam Bradford(notes), was becoming a real force for defenses to reckon with. How quickly the tide can turn. The season-ending injury to Mark Clayton(notes) is a significant blow to the running game. Unless Brandon Gibson(notes), Laurent Robinson(notes) or fully healed tight end Michael Hoomanawanui(notes) pick up the slack, Jackson will again be confronted with stacked boxes, especially this week against San Diego. Despite a depleted linebacker corps, the Chargers’ 3-4 has stuffed the run effectively, limiting opposing rushers to a bland 4.1 yards per carry and the fifth-fewest fantasy points. Undoubtedly, Jackson will get his touches – he totaled 26 in the Lions’ 37-point shellacking a week ago – but expect a modest return.
Fearless Forecast: 21 carries, 85 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 11 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9 fantasy points
Apparently Detroit’s BeAst is tamable after all. The lingering turf toe issue continues to hinder Best's cut-back abilities, limiting his overall fantasy impact. Over the past three weeks, he’s failed to splash the invisible pool, averaging just 75.7 total yards per game. On the road in the Big Apple, Best won’t bear many statistical fruits. The Giants, battered by injuries a season ago, have regained their defensive swagger. Last week, they dominated the line of scrimmage against the Texans, holding NFL ground king Arian Foster(notes) to just 25 yards. On the year, the G-Men have surrendered just 3.6 yards per carry and 115 total yards per game to RBs. Possibly minus Calvin Johnson(notes), the Giants will likely devise a blitz-heavy game plan to eliminate Best from the equation. Anticipate yet another bitter-tasting output.
Fearless Forecast: 15 carries, 56 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 25 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8 fantasy points
Much to our wife’s satisfaction, the salacious text messages we’ve forwarded onto Hillis will cease this week. So will the rusher’s five-game scoring streak. No tender thigh or ineffective passing attack has caged Cleveland’s raging bull. The early season sensation has been a model of consistency averaging 15.9 fantasy points per game in standard formats, the sixth-best mark among RBs. However, Colt McCoy(notes) and a road clash with Pittsburgh are ingredients for disaster. In order to take pressure off the green QB, Eric Mangini and Brian Daboll are expected to run Hillis into the ground early. But considering the Steelers have allowed just 2.6 yards per carry to rushers, he could post a subterranean return. Throw in the strong likelihood the Browns fall behind early, and Hillis is nothing more than a flex gamble in 12-team PPR formats. Peyton, it’s been an awesome ride.
Fearless Forecast: 16 carries, 53 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 24 receiving yards, 7 fantasy points
Barely a top 50 receiver in per week production, Colston has become fantasy’s most frustrating illusionist. Call him the Great Fooldini. Without a viable running game, the Saints' once prolific passing attack has turned pedestrian. As a consequence, the on-field vanishing act has averaged just 57.4 yards per game without a touchdown. This week, Colston’s insipid streak will likely continue. Tampa corner Aquib Talib has effectively shackled top targets, including Chad Ochocinco(notes) a week ago (3-20-0). He’s also logged a pick in three consecutive games. Due to the rest of the secondary’s limitations, Lance Moore(notes), Robert Meachem(notes) and Devery Henderson(notes) will be Drew Brees’(notes) flavors of the week. On the year, No. 1 receivers have walked the plank versus the Bucs, averaging a mere 46.2 yards per game. Colston remains an excellent bargain basement buy, but don’t expect a dramatic recovery in Week 6, especially with Pierre Thomas(notes) likely sidelined.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 37 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 3 fantasy points
Kevin Kolb(notes) is Jackson’s kryptonite. The elevated backup, who is expected to start in place of injured Michael Vick(notes) for the second straight week, has failed to establish even a 14.4 connection with the speedy receiver. Over the past two weeks, Jackson has hauled in only 5 passes for 43 yards. Some insiders blame Kolb’s flaccid arm and lack of patience for the wideout’s underwhelming production. Others, most notably Marty Mornhinweg, have pointed the finger at the enemy. According to the OC, defenders have tailored specific schemes to slow Jackson, jamming him at the line. When freed downfield, he’s also drawn numerous double-teams. The Falcons may implement a similar strategy. On paper, Atlanta is one of the league’s finest pass defenses. The Dirty Birds have yielded the third-fewest 20-yard pass plays. However, matchups against passing patsies Pittsburgh, Arizona, San Francisco and Cleveland have skewed the data. Still, because of Kolb’s infatuation with LeSean McCoy(notes) and Brent Celek(notes), Dunta Robinson(notes), who will be isolated on Jackson, may take the day off. Another gut-wrenching performance could be forthcoming.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 41 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 4 fantasy points
Possible WR alternatives: Kenny Britt(notes) (at Jac), Nate Washington(notes) (at Jac), Mike Wallace(notes) (vs. Cle), Johnny Knox(notes) (vs. Sea), Anthony Armstrong(notes) (vs. Ind), Danny Amendola(notes) (vs. SD), Louis Murphy(notes) (at SF), Eddie Royal(notes) (vs. NYJ)
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