Each week the Noise highlights 10 bold names who he believes are destined to torpedo your team leave egg on his face. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system shown below. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, post your Week 1 Lames in the comments section below.
Peyton Manning, Den, QB (65-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Pit
Deep down if you really believe Manning, nearly 20 months removed from taking his last regular season snap, will suddenly display vintage form against the vaunted Pittsburgh Steelers defense, the Noise has a pallet of snake oil available for purchase. Full disclosure, I fully expect Manning to finish inside the QB top-12 this season, but early season expectations need to be tempered. As witnessed in preseason play (2:3 td:int split), he still needs to knock off the dust. Concerns over his lost arm strength have been greatly exaggerated, but don't be surprised if he relies on a dink-and-dunk style out of the gate, which plays perfectly into the hands of the Steelers. Pittsburgh may be aging in areas, but it's constrictive nature hasn't waned. It shouldn't be a surprise. Coordinator Dick LeBeau is a genius. And, when healthy, Troy Polamalu is seemingly omnipresent. Last year, despite injuries in key areas, Steely McBeam yielded a league low 5.6 yards per attempt and just 34 pass plays of 20-plus yards. Under the primetime lights, expect Manning to be mystified.
Fearless Forecast: 23-36, 263 passing yards, 2 touchdowns, 2 interceptions, 19.2 fantasy points
DeMarco Murray, Dal, RB (91-percent started)
Matchup: at NYG
Because of the high number of uncertainties at running back, Murray, sharpied in as the 'Boys primary rusher, experienced a major value spike in late drafts. Consistently going in the mid-second round over the first 2-3 weeks of August, he vaulted into the back half of Round 1 in a predominant amount of 12-team leagues, particularly PPR formats. The gushy feelings were justified. He's an explosive and versatile rusher who should net 18-22 touches per game. But don't expect the rising star to shine at the Meadowlands. The Giants' defensive strength is clearly in the trenches. Bookends Justin Tuck, Jason Pierre-Paul and Osi Umenyiora have always sniffed out the run incredibly well and man-eating tackle Linval Joseph is coming off a tremendous camp. Overall, the Giants' 4-3 is shaping up to be one of the league's stingiest. Look for it to feast on Dallas' very suspect offensive line, handicapping the rusher's value. On opening night, think of Murray only as more of a low-end RB2 in 12-team formats.
Fearless Forecast: 18 carries, 72 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 16 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 11.1 fantasy points
Frank Gore, SF, RB (77-percent started)
Matchup: at GB
For much of the preseason, Gore resembled a sloth with an uncontrollable thyroid condition. He looked chunky, slow and Betty White-old. Though he remains atop the depth chart, he is far from the only game in town. Kendall Hunter, who was spectacular this summer, is breathing down his neck. Meanwhile, the Football Frankenstein Brandon Jacobs could poach goal-line touches and LaMichael James third-down work. It's a complicated backfield. Gore should net roughly 15 touches in his 2012 debut, but the matchup is far from favorable. Green Bay, which took a step back defensively last year, is out to regain its once sterling reputation. The defensive backfield is still littered with questions, but, up front, the Packers should regain their mojo. Clay Matthews is one of the league's finest run defenders. And B.J. Raji and A.J. Hawk should ramp it up after a disappointing 2011. Last year, the Pack conceded 4.5 yards per carry at Lambeau. Expect that number to drop dramatically starting Week 1. Gore "The Snore" is about to make a cameo.
Fearless Forecast: 16 carries, 58 rushing yards, 2 receptions, 9 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.2 fantasy points
Mike Wallace, Pit, WR (89-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Den
Last week, Wallace finally penned his name on the dotted line after the Steelers front office refused to waver on its sign or sit stance. Now in uniform and back in the classroom, he's quickly absorbed much of Todd Haley's playbook. But memorizing plays and executing them on the field are two entirely different animals. Champ Bailey is also a concern. Though the corner voted for Grover Cleveland, twice, he is still one of the league's preeminent shadows. A year ago, the Broncos allowed a mere 17 pass plays beyond 25 yards, the fourth-fewest in the NFL. Meanwhile, Bailey and fellow DB Chris Harris, ranked inside the top-15 in coverage according to Pro Football Focus. Yes, Wallace is a go-route guy, but without a single rep in preseason play, rust will be visible. And don't forget how the Champ clamp limited him in the playoffs last year (3-26-0). For one-week only, consider alternatives.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 35 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6.5 fantasy points
DeSean Jackson, Phi, WR (73-percent started)
Matchup: at Cle
After taking a mental vacation last year, Jackson enters 2012 focused and motivated. With a cushier bottom line and a tarnished image, he is out to prove he again belongs among the game's receiving elites. However, the Chihuahuas are slated to leave the Eagle grounded. Joe Haden, suspended four games after testing positive for Adderall, is currently in the appeals process, which should drag on beyond Week 1, making the shutdown corner available for the opener. If that scenario unfolds, Jackson will likely be in for a frustrating afternoon. A season ago Cleveland yielded just 43 pass plays of 20-plus yards, the second-fewest in the league. More impressively, Haden's assignments hauled in just 49.4-percent of their intended targets. Yes, it's possible the corner could stick on the more rounded Jeremy Maclin, but Sheldon Brown and Dimitri Patterson, both above average in coverage last year, are no pushovers. Add that to Jackson's one-dimensional makeup, and it could be a quiet week for the mouthy receiver.
Fearless Forecast: 3 receptions, 27 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 4.9 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 1 LAMES
TEAM HUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK
Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their "Lames" (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Mondays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?
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