We are hopeful that a different (expletive) voice might help

Fear not, owners of Kenji Johjima and Adrian Beltre. Help has arrived. Your underperformers have a new hitting coach: Jeff Pentland is out, and Lee Elia is in.

If Elia's hopes for the team could be summed up in a single sentence, it might be this:

I'll tell you one (expletive) thing, I hope we get (expletive) hotter than (expletive), just to stuff it up them 3,000 (expletive) people that show up every (expletive) day.

We wish him well. My fantasy portfolio has been largely purged of Mariners, though.

Seattle GM Bill Bavasi said the following:

"We have consistently, and for an extended period, underperformed at the plate and we are hopeful that a different voice might help the situation.''

Elia is certainly a different voice:

"In everything in life, sometimes change is better,'' he said. "Sometimes you make an omelette in a baggie and put it in boiling water and it comes out just as juicy and even better than if you fry it.''

Indeed. We eagerly await a better, juicier Richie Sexson.


Apologies for the lack of content today. It was a very long day of travel. Matt Buser has Closing Time tonight, and the blog will be at full strength tomorrow.