Baked, fried or rotisserie flamed, several highly thought of fantasy commodities have cooked owners this season. In dishonor of the virtual game's biggest turkeys, our group of Swedish Chefs are here to air their grievances. Gobble, (expletive) gobble.
Who is your All-Turkey nominee at QB?
Brandon – MATT RYAN. While Ryan could very well wind up with his second-best fantasy point per game total of his career, as a heavily invested Ryan owner, it sure doesn't feel like it. He fattenened his numbers in September, throwing three touchdown passes in three of his first four games. He's had just nine TDs in seven games since, only once topping 273 passing yards in that span (he's outside the top 20 QBs from Week 5 through Week 12). Clearly, he misses Tony Gonzalez.
Andy – There is but one choice for me here, and it's CAM NEWTON. When he struggled early, I bought low ... and then he went lower. Over his past four games, he's tossed four TD passes and seven interceptions. This is supposed to be his friendly late-season schedule. Woo.
Brad – MATTHEW STAFFORD. The guy I idiotically projected could challenge Peyton Manning for the QB throne has left a carton-full of egg on my face. He's the sole reason why several of my teams have experienced a late-season swoon. Ranked outside the position's top-20 in per game, he better take advantage of Detroit's favorable remaining schedule (Chi, Min, TB, at Chi) or I'm tossing myself into the nearest woodchipper.
Scott – ALEX SMITH. He's 18th in scoring at quarterback, so he's been mediocre in his own right, but what really frustrates me is how he's crushing the values of other players in this offense. Smith never gives his receivers a chance to make contested catches, a conservative approach that's going to take down the Chiefs, sooner or later. I weep for the monstrous season Travis Kelce should be having. And while no one likes KC's wideout group much, their touchdown bagel is more of a strike against Smith.
Dalton – COLIN KAEPERNICK. He hasn’t been terrible in real terms but fantasy wise, Kap has been a major disappointment. He hasn’t thrown multiple touchdowns in any of the past five games and is still looking for his first rushing score on the year (while getting a career-low in rushing yards per game as well).
[Week 13 rankings: Quarterback | Running Back | Receiver | Tight End | Kicker | DST]
Who is your All-Turkey nominee at RB?
Brandon – MONTEE BALL. My decision to draft Ball early in a couple leagues was crippling. Yes, part of the letdown here is injury related. But he was a Grade A turkey the first month of the season before he was sidelined. And then the uncertainty of the Denver backfield, and how long Ball would be out, made him a difficult player to cut in the deeper leagues that I own(ed) him.
Andy – While I didn't draft MONTEE BALL across the board, I somehow made the mistake of snagging him in leagues where he couldn't be so easily replaced (20-teamer and 16-teamer). We can blame part of the disappointment on injury, but it's not as if Montee was piling up stats at full strength. He's basically the one share of Denver's offense that hasn't earned a decent return.
Brad – DOUG MARTIN. A couple of strong preseason showings was enough to convince me Martin still had plenty of gas left in the tank. Myriad injuries and a string of wretched performances later, he will never again reenter my good graces. Nail-in-the-coffin stat: 36.2 percent of his carries this year have gone for 1-yard or less. DEAD. TO. ME.
Scott – BISHOP SANKEY. While rookie wideouts have been a delight this year, we can't say the same about the first-year running backs. The fantasy community hounded Ken Whisenhunt for weeks, wondering when Sankey would get a chance, but nothing special happened when the head coach finally flipped the switch. Sankey's posted a mediocre 3.51 YPC since becoming a de-facto starter, and he hasn't topped 3.9 yards a carry in his last seven appearances. The waiting wasn't the hardest part with Sankey – things got worse when he finally landed the gig.
Dalton – SHANE VEREEN. I was high on Vereen entering the year, but he just hasn’t been as big of a part of New England’s offense as I expected. He has just one rushing score on the season, which happened way back in Week 1, and he’s gotten more than 20 fewer receiving yards per game compared to last year.
Who is your All-Turkey nominee at WR?
Brandon – PERCY HARVIN. His stench is fresh in my nostrils after he delivered 1.2 fantasy points against the Bills, when I needed just 10 points from him a PPR league to pick up a Week 12 victory - five catches, 50 yards, is that so hard? Well, as a real-life Seahawks fan and a much-too invested Harvin owner, disappointment has been the theme of the maligned receiver's season. His three touchdowns called back on Monday night in Week 5 because of penalties sums things up perfectly - he's a supreme talent tease.
Andy – ANDRE JOHNSON. He's eight among all wide receivers in total targets this season (103), but he's like ten-millionth in fantasy scoring. AJ is an all-time receiver coming off a 1,400-yard season and relatively healthy, yet he's somehow on pace for less than 1,000 yards. We can blame the QB situation (it's bad), but it was no picnic last season, either.
Brad – KEENAN ALLEN. Expected to build off his excitable rookie campaign, the Charger has experienced a legitimate sophomore slump. He's rebounded a bit recording four double-digit PPR efforts in his past four, but his WR34 rank is nowhere close to the top-10 numbers many banked on. Still, with matchups against Baltimore and Denver upcoming, Keenan could save some face.
Scott – RUEBEN RANDLE. It's almost impossible for a fantasy receiver to have a bad season if the volume is consistently there. Part of that is survivor bias, sure, but if someone keeps seeing the targets, production should follow. Randle, well, he breaks all the rules. He's 13th in wide receiver targets, but 53rd in Yahoo scoring. He's fourth in WR red-zone targets and sixth in looks inside the 10, but has two crummy touchdowns. He's only secured 55 percent of his targets, and his average catch is a piddly 10.5. Why do so many keep making excuses for this guy?
Dalton – MICHAEL FLOYD. Despite staying healthy and entering his third year in the league while playing for a 9-2 team, Floyd has been a total bust. He’s reached 55 yards in just two games this season and has totaled seven catches for 101 yards over the past five contests. Even with Larry Fitzgerald out, Floyd was held to a goose egg last week.
Who is your All-Turkey nominee at TE?
Brandon – ZACH ERTZ. If Ertz were a carnival ride, he'd be the spinning teacups - safe, but few thrills to be had. He's run off nine straight games with 55 yards or less (only 1 TD in that span), this despite playing for the third-highest scoring offense (and fourth in passing yards) in the league.
Andy – ZACH ERTZ. If you drafted him on my recommendation, you have my sincere apologies. Just know I'm right there with you. I'm a fan of the talent, but the targets and touchdowns have been nothin' special.
Brad – JORDAN REED. Ongoing hamstring setbacks aside, Reed, a popular draft day sleeper, has sobered up those who were drunk on his potential, me included. In six games, he's averaged 3.8 points per game in standard settings, the same output as Andrew Quarless. Joy to the world.
Scott – VERNON DAVIS. After seeing Davis post four terrific seasons out of five, I thought this was a very safe place to park your money in 2014. He didn't have the upside of a Graham or Gronk, but floor is a nifty thing, too. So much for that idea. Knee, ankle, and back problems have been part of the story – costing Davis two games – but nonetheless, it's a shock to see him outside the Top 30 at the tight end position.
Dalton – ZACH ERTZ. I was fully on board with all the preseason hype, but instead the 6-5, 250 lb Ertz has somehow been targeted twice all year inside the 10-yard line. Thirty other tight ends have seen more.
Drown him in gravy. Who deserves to be this season's Most Valueless Turkey (MVT)?
Brandon – LESEAN MCCOY. Shady cost me a pretty penny in one very important auction league, where I decided to "go for it" by shelling out big bucks for consensus top 2 running backs McCoy and Jamaal Charles. At least Charles has delivered reasonably on my investment. But, McCoy? Brutal. No. 14 fantasy RB through Week 12 brutal. And, since I own him in a PPR league, the problem has been exacerbated by the fact that he's accumulated just 15 catches for 47 receiving yards in his past nine games.
Andy – BEN TATE, we're through. Finished. It's over. Sorry. I'm seeing other injury-prone running backs.
Brad – TOBY GERHART. For those familiar with our 'Fantasy Football Live' radio show, the decorative turkey is named after Gerhart. And for good reason. Pumped up by fanalysts as the projected league-leader in touches, the ex-Viking has been a colossal bust. Overtaken by Denard Robinson, he's become nothing more than a role player, netting 8.7 touches per game, a far cry from the 20-25 grips many forecasted. B-U-S-T!
Scott – ZAC STACY. The 2013 breakout was always about volume; Stacy ran in a straight line, managed just 3.9 yards a carry, was ordinary in the passing game. Nonetheless, he was a Top 30 pick in most Yahoo leagues. Stacy returned as the same back, limited and unexciting, and with the exact same YPC. Halfway through the season, it landed Stacy on the bench. He's logged all of 24 carries since October, watching Tre Mason take over the Rams backfield.
Dalton – CORDARRELLE PATTERSON. We all knew the risk with Patterson was that he was still a raw route runner, but it’s still surprising to see him actually take a step back in year two. At least he’s been so bad he’s been out of fantasy lineups for good by mid season.
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