As always in the run-up to a major international sporting event, the only story of interest is how woefully unprepared the host nation is and how the event will surely be ruined even though they never are. This is WORLD CUP PANIC.
In this edition of WORLD CUP PANIC we have the news that improvements to just two of the 13 airports that will be used for this summer's tournament in Brazil are complete and infrastructure experts believe that the expansions and renovations promised by the government will not be finished in time. The result: MODERATE INCONVENIENCES!!!!! (But not total chaos.)
From the AP:
Most analysts say they don't expect total chaos when the Cup begins June 12. But they say fans should brace for unfinished construction work, long check-in lines, and last-minute gate changes and flight delays - all already too common in the country's airports. There will be crowded boarding areas, difficulties claiming baggage, few food-court options and woeful transportation.
No! Anything but "few food-court options"! Travelers are used to delays, lines, crowds and difficulty claiming bags, but what will they do without a full selection of greasy food-like substances to jam in their faces while they endure all those hardships?! Unless four different brands of emergency hamburgers and 17 types of sugared dough products can be arranged, they should probably just cancel the tournament.
Brazil's civil aviation department says the airports — one of the primary concerns since the country was first awarded hosting duties — will be ready for the World Cup, which begins on June 12 and runs until July 13. With host cities spread out across the country, the airports are going to become a second home to the estimated 600,000 foreign fans attending matches. We can only hope this promise that the airports will be ready means the food courts will be ready too.
But all of this, plus the delays and set-backs to stadium construction projects, could have been predicted, according to one local consultant.
Omar Daniel Martins Netto, a civil aviation and airport consultant based in the southern Brazilian city of Curitiba, agreed [that the airports won't give visitors a good impression of Brazil].
''This is what happens in a country where lack of planning is normal, everything is late,'' he said.
So if you're going to the World Cup, be sure to stop at your favorite fast food spot before departure, make due with the limited choices upon arrival and then once you make it out of the airport, weep tears of joy when the possibilities of unhealthy eating are once again limitless.
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