Manchester United manager David Moyes has written a letter to the club's season ticket holders thanking them for their support and offering an honest appraisal of how things have gone thus far in his first year. The following is the first draft of that letter.
A WORD FROM THE BOSS (but first, something from David Moyes):
While I knew this job would be a challenge when I took it on, the nightmarish season full of soul-crushing embarrassments and profound indignities that has haunted our waking hours was not something that I envisaged. I honestly thought we would've had a 20-point cushion atop the league like Bayern Munich right now and Michael Carrick would have 27 goals. In hindsight, I don't know why I thought that, but clearly the scheduling computer is to blame. I am sure you supporters expected just as much this season — maybe even 30 goals from Carrick — and my players, staff and I are all desperate to compensate for that. Just not financially. I never said financially. To be clear: Absolutely no one is getting a refund from the club, Marouane Fellaini or me.
You are accustomed to seeing a successful Manchester United and the backing you have given the players (with the exception of Tom Cleverley) and I (with the exception of I) throughout the season has been incredible. I was especially impressed by the lad who got "Moyes out" tattooed on his backside. I hope he's happy with his life choices. Away from home the traveling fans have remained the best in the country. Mainly because they don't sarcastically shout "David Moyes is a genius" like all of our opponents' supporters, while at Old Trafford your unwavering ability to occupy the space between me and the scorching deathbeams emanating from Sir Alex Ferguson's eyes has been noticeable and hugely welcomed. Supporting your team when they are winning is easy, but much harder when you actually have to endure the hardships that fans of every other club on the planet accept as standard to life as a football supporter. The loyalty you have shown us, as enforced by the threat of taking away your ticket privileges, has been magnificent.
Everywhere we turn, people outside the club have a lot to say about Manchester United. It's almost as if we used to be bigger than Everton or something. But we have all stuck together through some tough times this season. Like our first home loss to West Brom since 1978, our first home loss to Newcastle since 1972, our first home loss to Everton since 1992, our first home loss to Swansea ever, our first home loss to Stoke since 1984, three losses in a row for the first time since 2001 and losing to Sunderland in the Capital One Cup semifinals on penalties. And I firmly believe that, in the long run, we will all come out at the other end, stronger for the experiences and still together. Except Nemanja Vidic, obviously. And all the others players that will leave this summer, maybe even including Robin van Persie. And, you know, me. These experiences have already taken their toll on me. I can't remember the last time I blinked and my face aches from forcing myself to smile when all I feel is horror...and the aforementioned deathbeams from Sir Alex.
Over the years, you have seen great winning sides here and, in time, I have absolutely no doubt that we will see great winning sides here again. Probably not in my lifetime, but eventually. A big step towards that will be transforming Old Trafford back into the fortress it has long been renowned as. In fact, I have several ideas on how to do this involving catapults, medieval tapestries and renaming it "Chevrolet Fortress presented by Mister Potato." We will also do everything in our admittedly limited power to get the positive performances and results that we all know aren't coming anytime soon, so that we can give you season ticket holders and all our supporters something to shout about. Hopefully in a way that does not make me want to abandon everything I love and start a new life in Alaska.
P.S. He's right behind me.
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