An 80th-minute red card for Fabio and a 90th-minute goal from Swansea's Wilfried Bony knocked Manchester United out of the FA Cup at home in just the third round. Things are still not going well for David Moyes, which allows us to examine yet another match through his many pained facial expressions...
"If I get sacked, do I get to keep this coat? It's so warm and I get cold very easily."
"I knew Fabio was the evil twin. I should've listened to that psychic who offered to help me fill out my team sheet..."
"Maybe I should become an astronaut. You probably can't hear people boo in space..."
"I'll give you £5,000 cash if you score a goal. I'll give you £6,000 if you pretend to be me for the rest of the season."
"What else can I do? I've tried everything with these players and still they don't play for me like they did for Sir Alex. I even went out a bought a top of the line hairdryer — the nicest one in the shop — turned it on full blast and held it an inch away from the players faces for an entire afternoon. Just going right down the line. If that's not as close as you can get to Sir Alex's hairdryer treatment, then maybe I need to read his book again."
"Hands up if you have no idea what bunny murdering atrocities you must have committed in a past life to deserve this..."
"If you shake my hand, you agree to switch jobs with me effective immediately. No give backs. No give backs!"
"This would've never happened if I had Laudrup's hair..."
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