David Moyes reported for his first day as Manchester United's new manager on Monday and, as you might imagine, the experience was a trying one. Being Sir Alex Ferguson's replacement was never going to be easy and though the players haven't even returned from their summer break yet, Moyes still faced a number of challenging situations throughout the day.
Manchester United's photographer was there to provide us with a record of this jarring experience...
"Car successfully parked! This job is going to be easier than I thought!"
"Oh no. What did they say the passphrase was? 'Twenty league titles'? 'Glazers rule'? 'Ah yes — 'Sir Alex Ferguson is an immortal god amongst men who can never be matched.'"
"Stairs?! No on said there'd be stairs!"
"Why are you all laughing? All I said was 'I'm the new manager and I'm going to convince Wayne Rooney to stay.'"
"OK, fine. I won't sign Leighton Baines. Just please calm down. I really don't want any trouble with the janitorial staff."
"My name's on the door. My name is on the door. You can't take it back now because my name's on the door. And if this turns out to a broom closet, I'm going to freak the f*** out on all of you."
"I'm going in. If Ferguson is waiting inside wearing a rubber apron and wielding an axe this is your last chance to do the decent thing and warn me."
"That's right. I'm the kind of rebel who doesn't use mouse pads. Get used to it. ... Now please tell me why this desk smells like pig's blood and the tears of a thousand referees."
"These are my human shields. The one on my left doesn't even have initials! If you have any impatient criticisms of what I do here, please direct your comments to them so I can at least try to avoid developing an ulcer before the season even starts. Thanks."