New ‘Baby Birdman’ alert: Here’s another kid decorated like Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen

There are only really three things you need to know about children: They always want chicken nuggets; if they don't want chicken nuggets, they want fruit snacks; and they love Chris Andersen, the Miami Heat's colorful "Birdman."

In these playoffs alone, we've seen a very young Coloradoan celebrate the former Denver Nuggets reserve and an older Heat supporter get considerably inkier in his praise of the Miami big man. We had not, however, seen a Baby Bird who combined both infancy and full faux tats.

Finally, thanks to Xiomy Gonzalez and Alexander Balaez, our long national nightmare is over.

The level of detail — from the neck tattoo to the earlobe stars to the sleevework — is just top-drawer. I'm not 100 percent sure I'm down with the marked-on headband, but I guess if you can get a baby to sit still and chill out long enough to draw that on him, on top of everything else, then you might as well go for it rather than just wrapping some fabric around his cruller. As long as we don't wind up with any Baby Birdman demon-faced pushups, I think we're going to be all right here.

Really, more than anything, I'm just glad I can provide encouragement for parents to draw on their children. Start fostering that lifelong love of art early, parents. You'll be glad you did.*

*(unless your child winds up covering roughly 99 percent of his/her body with birdman tattoos, in which case, you might later feel like you done goofed)

Hat-tip to That NBA Lottery Pick.

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