Archie Bradley says people who claim they've never pooped their pants are lying

Chris Cwik

When Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Archie Bradley retires from baseball, he might have a career as a writer. Bradley may have come up with a sequel to “Everybody Poops” while on MLB Network on Thursday.

His title would be something along the lines of, “Everybody accidentally poops their pants in their lifetime, and if they say they haven’t, they are lying.” That title needs work, we know.

But it’s accurate. Bradley basically said just that when the MLB Network hosts asked him about a story he told on the Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast.

Archie Bradley says everyone has pooped their pants or they are lying

Bradley was asked whether he actually pitched with poop in his pants by Mark DeRosa. He not only confirmed it was true, but then made the following statement: “If you’ve gone through your life and you haven’t pooped your pants on accident at some point, you’re in the rarest, most exclusive club ever, or you’re just flat out lying.”

He doubled down on that later and said, “If you can’t look yourself in the mirror and honestly say you haven’t accidentally pooped your pants at some point, you’re lying. I’ll look everyone right in the face. You are lying.”

Don’t believe us, feel free to watch the video. Bradley starts talking about poop around the five minute mark.

Yes, Archie Bradley really did pitch during a game with poop in his pants

How do we know Bradley is being truthful here? Because he told us! Bradley first revealed the story of him pooping his pants on the Yahoo Sports MLB Podcast. Bradley told Tim Brown that he had an accident just before he was put into a game. He cleaned up the best he could, but said he jogged “into the game with poop in pants, basically.”

Despite Bradley saying it was the most uncomfortable he felt on the mound, he pitched a “clean” inning. No runs scored.

Is Archie Bradley’s claim correct?

We’re not going to get into that. It’s correct to Bradley, and that’s really all that matters. If you care to disagree, he’s just going to think you’re a liar anyway.

Archie Bradley says everyone has pooped their pants. (AP Photo)
Archie Bradley says everyone has pooped their pants. (AP Photo)

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Chris Cwik is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Chris_Cwik

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