How You'll Lose In Fantasy Football In Week 3
If you're 2-0 in your fantasy football league, then you're on top of the world. If you're 0-2, you feel like there's no hope. Either way, we're here to remind that success and failure are fleeting in the fantasy world. There's no limit to the things that can go wrong for your fantasy team. Here is a sampling of the ways you might lose in Week 3.
1 Ezekiel Elliott
You'll lose because Ezekiel Elliott won't quit this week.
2 The Falcons
You'll lose because Matthew Stafford and the Lions love to come from behind in the fourth quarter, and they're playing a Falcons team that... well, you know...
3 Younghoe Koo
You'll lose because your matchup will come down to a field goal and your kicker is Younghoe Koo.
4 Rob Gronkowski
You'll lose because Rob Gronkowski will refuse to score another receiving touchdown so he can keep his career total at 69.
5 Ben Roethlisberger
You'll lose because you don't realize Ben Roethlisberger hasn't been good on the road for the better part of three years.
6 Trevor Siemian
You'll lose because you don't have the No. 1 fantasy quarterback, Trevor Siemian. (It's true. Look it up.)
7 Dalvin Cook
You'll lose because you made the same mistake the Panthers did: Picking Christian McCaffrey over Dalvin Cook.
8 Greg Olsen, Tyler Eifert, Jimmy Graham, Jordan Reed.
You'll lose because Ed Dickson, Tyler Kroft, Luke Willson and Vernon Davis are totally about to "Wally Pipp" Greg Olsen, Tyler Eifert, Jimmy Graham and Jordan Reed.
9 DeMarco Murray
You'll lose because you have DeMarco Murray, but not Titans No. 1 back Derrick Henry or Titans goal-line back Delanie Walker.
10 A.J. Green
You'll lose because A.J. Green and the Bengals have had extra time to prepare for not scoring a touchdown this week.
11 The London game
You'll lose because you'll forget to set your lineup before the Ravens-Jaguars London game that starts at 9:30 a.m. ET. (In Hawaii, the game actually still counts toward your Week 2 matchup.)
12 Ted Ginn
You'll lose because you'll drop your phone while trying to sub out Ted Ginn – a fitting tribute ahead of his "revenge game" against the Panthers.
13 Bilal Powell and Company
You'll lose because you refuse to stop starting Jets.
14 Paul Perkins
You'll lose because Paul Perkins is so boring that you'll fall asleep while moving him around your lineup.
15 Kerwynn Williams
You'll lose because Chris Carson is this year's big breakout waiver wire pickup and you wasted your waiver priority on Kerwynn Williams.
16 Drew Brees
You'll lose because you think the Panthers D/ST can keep their opponents out of the end zone for the third straight game. We won't spoil the ending, but remember that Drew Brees is a little better than Brian Hoyer and Tyrod Taylor.
17 Marshawn Lynch
You'll lose because Marshawn Lynch will be getting hyphy in a D.C. club instead of playing in Sunday night's game.
18 Waiver wire trouble
You'll lose because one of these top Week 3 waiver wire pickups is made up, but you don't know which one: Rashard Higgins, Geronimo Allison, D'Angelo Jackson and Samaje Perine.
19 Odell Beckham
You'll lose because Odell Beckham Jr. "couldn't care less" about your fantasy team. Nor should he.
You'll lose because the points scored in the Browns-Colts game won't count because no one will be watching it.
21 Johnny Hekker
You'll lose because you'll start a Rams or 49ers receiver, but the guy with the best arm on Thursday night will be Rams punter Johnny Hekker.
22 DeVante Parker
You'll lose because you won't realize DeVante Parker changed his name to JeVante Parker just so he, Jay Cutler, Jay Ajayi, Jarvis Landry and Julius Thomas can call themselves "The J-5." Don't cut JeVante Parker.
23 Allen Hurns
You'll lose because Garbage -- sorry, "Rubbish-Time" Allen Hurns is back, and he won't be afraid to dive into the 'bin' in London against the Ravens.
24 Ben McAdoo vs. Eli Manning
You'll lose because Eli Manning is so mad at Ben McAdoo for throwing him under the bus that he takes three more delay of game penalties to prove a point (and to avoid another sack).
25 LeGarrette Blount
You'll lose because your grandma will have the same amount of carries as LeGarrette Blount for the second straight week.