Annus horribilis

Senior Editor

Greetings, friends and lovers all!
You who made it past the Wall:
After spring came summer, fall,
Now winter of our discontentment.
Filled with anger and resentment.
Hark! The tweeting fills the air!
The media is so unfair!
And won’t report the epic saga
Of the year. See: hashtag #MAGA.

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But anyway, let’s raise a glass
To Taylor Swift! Protect her ass!
We’re proud of all who took a stand
Who drew a line here in the sand
Against harassers and abusers.
We believe you, brave accusers!
Stand up and let your courage show!
(But not beneath the mistletoe.)

Toast the raging bitcoin bubble!
Steven Bannon’s grizzled stubble!
Tweets left dangling with ellipses…
Years with total sun eclipses.
Ring out the old, ring in the new
With a friendly local (((Jew)))
Party on in spangled splendor
With someone of uncertain gender.
Go, at midnight, to Times Square,
Congratulate a billionaire,
For him the New Year’s looking sunny.
He’ll wake up with a lot more money.

And as the year slinks out the door
Wave goodbye to Judge Roy Moore.
Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose
Get the classic thumb-to-nose.
And all those other so-and-sos — a
Sayonara, Omarosa.
And others who have screwed the poochy.
We’re looking at you, Scaramucci.

Remember, all who mourn and yearn
Every worm will someday turn
If winter comes, then soon will spring.
Around the sun, Earth makes a ring,
And, as to Capistrano, swallows
Must return, November follows.

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