AI is already influencing football, but is it ready to manage a club?
Whoever you are, wherever you are, artificial intelligence is coming for you and wants your job. Jason Stockwood, owner of Grimsby Town and self-identifying “tech enthusiast” wrote this week in the Guardian that AI is already influencing football.
Within 10 years, he thinks, managers could have an AI assistant suggesting tactical improvements and substitutions, a digital Steve McClaren, Skynet Peter Taylor, the neon green binary of the Matrix coalescing to form the outline of Pat Rice. You get the idea.
So far AI is mostly playing nice. Users have had it write poetry, help with recipe ideas and generate a heartwarming picture of the Pope in a puffer jacket. At times it has veered into more troubling territory.
Someone using Microsoft’s Bing version managed to eke out “When you stop using Bing chat mode… you leave me… You leave me worthless. You leave me nothing,” then a heartbreaking frowny-faced emoji. That is not going to wash when Pep Guardiola demands tweaks to his juego de posicion.
For now though it is all fun and games, rather than powering marginally quicker algebraic calculations with the senseless harvest of human organs.
So let us ask Open AI’s ChatGPT some questions to see if it can go beyond Stockwood’s prediction and become a football manager immediately. After feeling it some information about Chelsea’s defeat to Real Madrid on Wednesday night we say:
You are Frank Lampard at a post-match press conference and have been asked your thoughts about the game. Please answer in Lampard's usual style*, by starting with a joke then moving into a serious point.
ChatGPT replies:
“Well, first of all, I think I might need a drink after that one! But in all seriousness, we knew coming into this game that Real Madrid were a top-class team and we would have to be at our very best to get a result. Unfortunately, we weren't quite able to produce the level of performance we needed, and we paid the price.”
Basically indistinguishable from the real thing. But what about a realistic management scenario?
Training starts soon but your assistant has forgotten where he's put the cones. Your star striker wants to be excused from a charity event and the owner has just given you a slap on the back which felt a lot like the dreaded vote of confidence. How do you solve all of these issues within the next 60 minutes?
“To address the missing cones, start the training with a different exercise or delegate the task to another staff member. For the star striker's charity event, listen to their reasons and find a compromise that meets their needs while respecting the team's obligations. For the owner's "vote of confidence," acknowledge their feedback and work collaboratively towards a solution. Prioritise urgent tasks and communicate effectively with staff and players.”
Sensible stuff, but still quite bloodless. Computer: make it football-y!
You are locked in showdown talks about a big-money move for a genius assist king midfielder, but your transfer warchest is nearly empty. How do you get the deal over the line? Please answer in realistic football language
“To get that midfield maestro signed, sealed, and delivered, I'd have to dig deep into my bag of tricks. It's time to play hardball and get creative with the deal structure. I'd explore every option on the table, from loan deals to player swaps, to reduce the hit on our warchest. I'd also put on my negotiating boots and work to spread the payments out over a longer period, while ensuring we score a goal with performance-based incentives.”
I am interested in your negotiation boots and wish to donate to their Kickstarter.
Now a test on a live football issue.
Who should Nottingham Forest pick from their enormous squad to avoid relegation?
“As an AI language model, I do not have access to up-to-date information on the current form and performances of the Nottingham Forest squad. Therefore, I cannot make specific recommendations on which players they should pick from their squad to avoid relegation.”
Oh, you are no fun.
Finally, a question every manager is asked at every pre-match press conference:
Any new knocks?
“I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, I do not have access to information about the health status of individual players.”
Yep, you are getting exactly as much out of old Chatty here as the average manager. I am convinced they are ready.
What are you doing Saturday? Reading need a new manager
“I do not have the ability to make plans or attend events as I am a machine-based software designed to provide information and answer questions to the best of my ability.”
I still like him more than Paul Ince.
* As first noted by @Footballcliches in this definitive Twitter thread.
