Adam Levine, Sumner Stroh and why we love to hate 'the other woman'

Rumors of Adam Levine's involvement with 23-year-old influencer Sumner Stroh stirred a media frenzy when she claimed they had a yearlong, secret affair in 2021.

"I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life," stated Levine, 43, who is married to Victoria's Secret model Behati Prinsloo. "In certain instances, it became inappropriate; I have addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family." (USA TODAY reached out to Levine, Prinsloo and Stroh's representatives for comment).

Original story: Adam Levine denies affair amid wife Behati Prinsloo's pregnancy, admits he 'crossed the line'

As expected, the Maroon 5 frontman drew backlash from millions of spectators on social media. But Stroh ultimately bore the brunt of the criticism. In a matter of hours, she was publicly dragged, blamed and shamed as a "home-wrecker" and "attention seeker" in the comments of her viral video – so much so that celebrities like Emily Ratajkowski and Chrishell Stause rushed to her defense.

Though Stroh is not necessarily innocent, focusing on her involvement alone is a dangerous diversion, says Leora Tanenbaum, author of "I Am Not a Slut." It's yet another example of misogynistic double standards, and what's happening to Stroh is reminiscent of the way we demonized Jordyn Woods and Monica Lewinsky, Tanenbaum says.

In this case, it was Levine, a married man who, in his own words, "used poor judgment." And yet it's Stroh trapped in a vicious cycle of slut-shaming.

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Why do we blame 'the other woman' for a man's mistakes?

In the English vocabulary, we have a plethora of ways to describe women in relationships with married men. Homewrecker. Mistress. The other woman.

Yet there is no male equivalent.

Part of why we fixate our anger on the woman is to cope. It's easier to scapegoat the third party than to acknowledge that someone who is supposed to love us, ultimately hurt and betrayed us. In her decadeslong experience dealing with toxic romances, relationship trauma expert Janie Lacy says the most common reason we hate "the other woman" is the false belief that if it were not for her, the affair wouldn't have occurred.

"It is less painful to believe someone else did this to her family, rather than her husband making a choice to betray her," Lacy says, adding that sometimes, a couple may bond by blaming the other person. "When a woman is in shock about her husband's affair, it is often easier to hate 'the woman,' especially if she knew the man was married."

However, this double standard is also reflective of a larger societal issue surrounding our attitudes toward women and sexuality. While many have criticized Levine, his behavior may be brushed off with the excuse that boys will be boys.

"This mindset presumes that the woman is behaving in a slutty way but the man is not, even though they are both, in this case, culpable for deceitful, disrespectful behavior," says Tanenbaum, who coined the term "slut bashing" in 1999 to describe the phenomenon that ispervasive even today.

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Interestingly, research has shown women, too, hold these biases against "the other woman." It likely stems from the familiar trope of "the temptress," which paints women like Stroh as conniving, sexually deviant, ill-intentioned and undeserving of empathy, ignoring the possibility that they may have been manipulated or unaware of the circumstances.

"It plays into who is granted permission to express agency and autonomy, sexual adventure and expression... and from the ways in which we as a culture hyper-sexualize or objectify feminized bodies," explains Shira Tarrant, a professor at California State University, Long Beach and author of "Gender, Sex, and Politics: In the Streets and Between the Sheets in the 21st Century."

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With Levine, Stroh both are to blame

Levine publicly acknowledged his wrongdoing. Stroh, too, took responsibility in a follow-up video, clarifying that she was under the impression that Levine's marriage had ended.

"Being naive is not an excuse for the role I played in this," Stroh said. "I fully realize I'm not the victim in this. I'm not the one who's really getting hurt here. It's Behati and her children, and for that, I am so so sorry."

Both Levine and Stroh bear responsibility for the harm caused to Prinsloo and her children. But Lacy says many critics overlook the power dynamics at play between the two.

Even though Stroh is an adult, "Levine is much older," Tarrant reminds us. "He's the married one. He's much wealthier, more visible, more famous and in the public eye. With that comes a whole lot of power, and it's important to understand how this dynamic can be manipulated and deployed in harmful ways." In her own video, Stroh admitted she felt "exploited" because "he knew I believed everything he said."

Instead of hyper-fixating on Stroh, we need to hold both parties accountable, rather than regarding Levine in a more favorable light. If Stroh is so "immoral" that she does not deserve our empathy, why should Levine get receive a pass?

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Adam Levine, Sumner Stroh: Why we blame 'the other woman' in affairs