According To Bruce...

Bruce Young,
Tar Heel Illustrated

(Bruce Young, aka The Man of Many Talents, in spite of his horrible taste in music, is THI's social coordinator, official bureaucrat, no-longer-available bachelor even though he's still our International Playboy, back seat driver, back alley brawler, ATL instigator, Hug master, wig harasser, cheap hotel clerk impersonator, Rupp Rude Boy, hornet's nest poker, 2nd biggest Orioles' fan, photographer and resident Tar Heels' fan)

It's Time For Coach Fedora to CUT OFF HIS BEARD!!!!

Even though Coach Fedora is generally a good looking man, the beard added a look that can be best described as "dashing." But the beard hasn't especially been good luck for him or the Tar Heels. It's gotta go....NOW!

His record is 9-9 since he grew the beard. As we all know, his wins during that stretch have been over two FCS opponents and Old Dominion. Two other wins came on the last play of those respective games. Coach Fedora is dangerously close to being 7-11 with the beard, including a 4-11 mark versus Power 5 programs.

Hey, I like a good beard just as much as the next guy. I'd grow one myself, but as I've gotten older, it's turning more white than black and you can't be an international playboy with a white beard and I just can't afford the Just For Men needed to color my beard; do you catch my drift.

I'm also superstitious when things aren't going well for my Tar Heels, so something has to change. When the Heels aren't playing well, I may need to put the remotes in a different place, I must change where I'm sitting, etc., and don't say you guys don't do that. When the great Woody Durham told you to "Go Where Ya Go and Do What Ya Do" what did you do?

Another thought I've pondered is who was the last coach to win anything wearing a beard other than NBA coaches, and they're barely coaches! Name another major championship coach to wear a beard. I'm told, Hockey coaches (and let's be honest, who watches this crap) shave during the playoffs, while their players customarily grow out playoff beards. If our esteem publisher Andrew Jones were to grow a beard, our subscribers would hurl candy canes at him and expect him to wear a red coat with a black belt around the mid-section in December.

It's just time to change something with the Tar Heel Football Program; cutting the beard is the best idea I could come up with! Opinions anyone?


It's Notre Dame week and at the beginning of the season it looked to be one of the biggest games on the schedule. I believe it still is to some, but not as big as it could have been because of the terrible start by the Heels. But it's still Notre Dame, it's history, it's the Golden Helmets, it's the Leprechaun, it's Touchdown Jesus, it's the Victory March, the Irish Fight Song we've heard all our lives.

Regardless of their record, beating Notre Dame means something and by doing so this Saturday it could give the players the confidence they need to go forward and win more games. If you don't believe how important it is to beat Notre Dame, just ask the N.C. State fan base. When the Wolf Pack beat Notre Dame, coached by the mediocre Ty Willingham, a few years ago in a mid-level bowl game, State proceeded to have a parade in downtown Raleigh. They really did, you can't make this stuff up!!

The Tar Heels have a chance to win this game if they make some big plays on special teams and don't turn the ball over. As depleted as the Heels are, they must play a perfect game to have a chance. I also believe Coach Fedora has something up his sleeve on Saturday (maybe a razor and some shaving cream?). And lastly, if the Wolf Pack can do, so can we. GO HEELS!!!!!!



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