The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
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get in loser we're exercising our first amendment right to protest
— Ziwe (@ziwe) September 24, 2017
i am fairly certain if we all combine our bed bath & beyond coupons it would legally allow us, the people, to impeach trump
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) September 25, 2017
*dropping my 6y/o off at school*
Administrator: Happy Monday!
6y/o, angry whispering to me: what does that mean?!!
— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 25, 2017
the year is 2027. rihanna &her brand have seized the means of production from corporate america. we have universal healthcare. fenty health.
— virgo queen (@EFFLORESCENE) September 25, 2017
why is it ok for adults to dress in the jerseys of their team when they go to games but weird when i show up to the doctor dressed in scrubs
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) September 25, 2017
sorry I didn't text u back!my phone+willingness to appease toxic ppl at expense of my energy,peace of mind& freedom of essence died lol x
— bolu babalola. (@BeeBabs) September 26, 2017
Before coffee: Annoyed by everything.
After coffee: Annoyed by everything but with the energy to complain about it.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 25, 2017
I’ve made a hard decision.
I’m buying a leash to take my cat on walks around the neighborhood.
Please respect my privacy at this time.
— Gabby Sidibe (@GabbySidibe) September 27, 2017
Website: "your order had ship---"
— death the kid (@BreeeCass) September 25, 2017
Which is worse burning in Hell or rotting in Hell? Asking for a witch.
— ElissaSchappell (@ElissaSchappell) September 28, 2017
literally my only talent was being able to think of tweets exactly 140 characters long. i don't know if I will be able to alter this to 280.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 26, 2017
Telling a girl she's sexy is flattering, but telling her that the fall of capitalism will be swift and without mercy means so much more.
— daftpunk praxis (@anamarinamri) September 26, 2017
Welp I gotta be up in four hours so I guess this is the perfect time to do my annual lurking session of people I don't talk to anymore
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) September 28, 2017
"your boyfriend doesn't deserve you" = me whenever I see literally any woman with a boyfriend
— Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) September 26, 2017
me after reading two tweets that were longer than 140 characters pic.twitter.com/tfWop3Mtzv
— tired (@ugsadkid) September 27, 2017
Man next to me on this flight just dripped a drink on my leg by accident then said he'd wipe it off if I want.
Sir, don't make me Op-Ed.
— Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) September 26, 2017
"I'm doing me" is code for I am giving myself free reign to act like a complete psychopath
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) September 27, 2017
fuck it. i might as well put a mastercard that earns travel points in my swear jar
— Erica (@SCbchbum) September 27, 2017
2007: i'm drunk, gonna call my ex
2017: i'm drunk, gonna call my senator
— keely flaherty (@flahertykeely) September 27, 2017
You know it's time for new bathroom lighting at home when you look in the work mirrors and you have sunscreen all over your face
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) September 27, 2017
This article originally appeared on HuffPost.