Will Smith and his son Jaden are in London to promote their new film (and hold a mini Fresh Prince reunion), and their trip happens to coincide with the city hosting this year's Champions League final between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund. So before the match, the Smiths stopped by the UEFA Champions Festival on the International Quarter to attempt a few penalty kicks against former Manchester United goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar.

After a big stretch, Will stepped up to the spot first. He took a smooth run up, a big kick and then weakly scuffed the ball to the top corner of the miniature penalty box. A penalty so bad that the cameraman couldn't even keep it in frame. The crowd laughed and Smith had Van der Sar get rid of the offending ball.

Jaden was up and he was able to score, in part because his father physically restrained Van der Sar. Sadly, DJ Jazzy Jeff and Alfonso Ribeiro (who was also there) did not take penalty kicks of their own.

Santos have accepted two offers for Neymar, leaving the final decision on where Brazil's most celebrated young talent will go up to the player. The clubs that made the offers have not been revealed, but one is thought to be Barcelona. The other, however, might surprise. The following is a transcript of Neymar hearing the offers from Barcelona president Sandro Rosell and Wigan Athletic chairman Dave Whelan.

Neymar: I was told that you both made acceptable offers to Santos, so now I must decide which club will help me make this big step in my career. This will be a very difficult decision, so please tell me everything I need to know.

Rosell: Of course. Although, it shouldn't take much to convince you to join Barcelona.

Whelan: I'm not telling you my bank details or where I buy my shoes, so you can forget that.

Neymar: Oh. I wouldn't ask either of those things. First, how many trophies did your clubs win this season?

Rosell: Well, just the one — the league title. But next season, with you in the team, we will surely be Champions League winners once again and challenge for the treble.

Whelan: We also won one trophy — the same number as Barcelona — except we won the FA Cup, which is obviously better.

Rosell: And how can you say that?

Whelan: Because I broke my leg in the 1960 FA Cup final. Did you ever break your leg in the Spanish league?

Rosell: No, but-

Whelan: I rest my case.

Neymar: Next. I must say that I don't want to play in the Premier League. I don't think it will suit my style of play.

Whelan: Well we won't be playing in the Premier League next season, so that works out nicely.

Neymar: Oh. I thought you played in the Premier League.

Whelan: Not anymore, Femur.

Neymar: It's Neymar.

Whelan: No it's not. Look, Knee Car, Wigan is the place to be. Anyone with sense will tell you that. We have everything you could possibly want in a new home. Rugby, the World Pie Eating Championship, there's probably a petting zoo somewhere nearby.

Rosell: Neymar, I don't know about all that. But I do know that Lionel Messi is very excited about the idea of playing with you. Together, you two would be unstoppable.

Whelan: And Gary Caldwell probably wants to play with you too. I mean, I haven't asked him yet, but he probably does. He gets on with most people.

Neymar: One thing I'm very concerned about is the weather and the playing conditions, I know Barcelona is very nice, but how is your city, Mr. Whelan?

Whelan: People always say Barcelona is the Wigan of Spain. So that should tell you everything right there.

Rosell: I have never heard anyone say that in my life. People don't say that, Neymar.

Whelan: I say it all the time. Look how this man lies to you, Nine Bar.

Rosell: This is ridiculous. Neymar, the choice is obvious. One club before you is one of the most prestigious in all of Europe, has the greatest players in the world and can actually pay your wages. The other-

Whelan: Is Barcelona.

Rosell: That is not what I was going to say!

Neymar: Enough. Please. After everything I've heard, I must say that I still can't decide. If you had to sum up your club in one word, what would it be?

Rosell: Best.

Whelan: Broken leg.

Rosell: That's two words!

Whelan: And you just said three more, what's your point?

Neymar: These arguments are both very compelling. I simply cannot decide.

Florentino Perez: Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear what was being said and as an independent third party, Neymar, you should sign for Wigan.

Rosell: Neymar, this is the president of Real Madrid! He just doesn't want you to sign for us!

Neymar: OK, I've reached a decision.

Rosell: What is it?!

Whelan: Wait. I've changed my mind, Tyler. We don't want you anymore. You can't come to Wigan.

Neymar: No. No!!!

Whelan: Sorry, but I'm not sorry.

Neymar: Fine. I guess I'll sign for my second choice then.

Three months after coming out as gay and stepping away from the game, midfielder Robbie Rogers has signed with the LA Galaxy according to multiple reports. MLS rights to Rogers, who previously played in the league for Columbus Crew from 2007 to 2011, were owned by the Chicago Fire, but Rogers didn't want to play for them. So after casually training with the Galaxy over the last several weeks, a trade was finally worked out, sending midfielder Mike Magee to Chicago in exchange for Rogers, who is now the first openly gay player in MLS. And according to ESPN, he is also "the first active openly gay male athlete to compete in an American professional team sport."

Rogers came out in February with a moving post on his personal blog, saying "Secrets can cause so much internal damage. People love to preach about honesty, how honesty is so plain and simple. Try explaining to your loved ones after 25 years you are gay." At the end of March, he told the Guardian that it was "impossible" to be gay in football.

"I might be strong enough but I don't know if that's really what I want. I'd just want to be a footballer. I wouldn't want to deal with the circus. Are people coming to see you because you're gay? Would I want to do interviews every day, where people are asking: 'So you're taking showers with guys – how's that?'

"If you're playing well it will be reported as: 'The gay footballer is playing well.' And if you have a bad game it'll be: 'Aw, that gay dude … he's struggling because he's gay.' F*** it. I don't want to mess with that."

But then, NBA player Jason Collins came out and though he hasn't played since his announcement (he's currently a free agent), Rogers says he started to "feel like a coward" for not doing so himself. From USA Today:

Rogers' epiphany to return to the game came when he spoke to a group of about 500 kids at the Nike Be True LGBT Youth Forum in Portland last month.

"I seriously felt like a coward," he tells USA TODAY Sports in an exclusive interview about his return. "These kids are standing up for themselves and changing the world, and I'm 25, I have a platform and a voice to be a role model. How much of a coward was I to not step up to the plate?"

Rogers will be formally unveiled as a Galaxy player on Saturday. But he also told USA Today that the MLS is just the beginning of what he wants to achieve on the pitch. With 18 caps for the U.S. national team to his credit, he was to resume his international career and hopes to play in the 2014 World Cup.

"I want to get past the point where I was before," he says. "I want to get back to the national team. I was so close to making the World Cup in 2010, I want to be there for the next one."

Rogers obviously has a lot of work to do to get back to that level and all the media attention he will surely get in the coming months could make that more difficult. But this begins the road towards getting past the circus he spoke of March and getting back to just doing what he loves. In February he felt freed from the "internal damage" of holding his secret by being honest and now he's ridding himself of "feeling like a coward" by being brave. There's a lot that others can learn from Robbie Rogers.

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• Champions League finalist Bayern Munich finally embracing its anti-Nazi past
• Bayern Munich heavily favored to beat Borussia Dortmund
• The Champions League final viewing companion

With two German clubs in the Champions League final, their London hosts are probably a bit more apathetic about the event than they would otherwise be. So to combat that lack of enthusiasm and win over the locals, Borussia Dortmund have organized a rather impressive friendship campaign in the lead-up to the match against more well known Bayern Munich.

The ad above is just one of many parts of their "From Dortmund with Love" campaign in London, urging citizens to enjoy the match while also positioning BVB as the underdog fairytale club that neutrals should get behind. But just how much campaigning are they doing in the city?

From the London Evening Standard:

A black and yellow double-decker bus will tour central London with an onboard team handing out gifts on both tomorrow and Saturday.

The bus will stop off at a number of destinations to celebrate the final with fans.

There will also be men in yellow and black busbies standing guard over some of London's iconic tourist attractions while in various locations such as Tower Bridge, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, there will be life-size cardboard cut-outs of star players including Robert Lewandowski and Marco Reus to showcase the club's love of football.

Here's a map (it's a PDF file) that shows all the landmarks they have covered with their scarves on statues, hot air balloon rides, BVB busbies, touring yellowing bus and player cut-outs. They also have moving signs driving through the city with pandering slogans like "thanks a million for inventing the game we love" and Beatles imagery.

It's a clever way to build grassroots support abroad that should give them a bit of lasting goodwill beyond Saturday's game. Bayern, meanwhile, will just continue to buy all the players that Dortmund charm people into supporting. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

Completing the German domination of the Champions Leagues this season, Wolfsburg beat Lyon 1-0 in the women's final at Stamford Bridge. This was a shocking result for two reasons: 1) Lyon had won the last two Champions League finals and over their last 120 matches, they had not lost in regular time. And 2) This was Wolfsburg's first time in the competition. Not a bad debut.

Any karma Lyon built up from offering to replay a French Cup match marred by a referee's mistake last week apparently wore off pretty quick. A handball in the second half gave Wolfsburg the deciding penalty and with the win, they completed the treble despite never winning a trophy before this season. Martina Muller, who has been with Wolfsburg since they were in the 2. Bundesliga in 2006, scored the goal that made history as Germany will now be the first nation to ever win both the men's and women's Champions Leagues in the same season.

Clearly the lesson here is that if you plan on having a football tournament anytime soon, don't invite the Germans.

The first ever all-German Champions League final is upon us and that means it's time for the third annuel DT Champions League final viewing companion. Wembley will host the match and though excitement in London has been dampened by the fact that all the English clubs in contention were eliminated long ago, the visiting Germans bring all the passion and leather pants necessary for a memorable game.

[Related: Champions League finalist Bayern Munich finally embracing its anti-Nazi past]

Of course, since Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich both play in the same domestic league, this is far from the first time they've met this season. Dominant Bayern won the Bundesliga with astounding ease, finishing 25 points ahead of second-place Dortmund in the table. But head to head, they've been much closer, with each of their league matches ending 1-1 — including their most recent earlier this month, which included Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp and Bayern sporting director Matthias Sammer going nose to nose (or, more accurately, chin to nose). Bayern did, however, beat Dortmund 1-0 in the DFB Pokal quarterfinals and 2-1 in the German Super Cup match way back in August.

Anyway, you can find serious business previews and primers for this match pretty much everywhere else online and in print. So here we'll do it the Dirty Tackle way.

First, A Hilarious Video Preview From The Exploding Heads

How They Got Here

Borussia Dortmund: Drawn into this season's Group of Death, even Klopp admits to finding it "pretty surprising" that his side made it to the knockout rounds. Not only that, but Dortmund managed to go undefeated in a group rounded out by Real Madrid, Ajax and Man City. After beating Ukrainian champions Shakhtar Donetsk in the round of 16, Dortmund mounted the comeback of the season to beat Spanish underdogs Malaga in the quarterfinals, scoring twice in injury time for a 3-2 win (see those shocking goals at the end of the video above). Dortmund then made embarrassingly easy work of Real Madrid in the semifinals and here they are.

Bayern Munich: Last season, Bayern reached their second Champions League final in three years and seemed poised to avenge their 2010 loss to Inter when Thomas Muller broke the scoreless deadlock in the 83rd minute. But then Didier Drogba equalized for Chelsea in the 88th minute to send the game to extra time. Two more scoreless periods later, it had to be decided on a penalty shootout and Chelsea missed their first shot. After making three in a row, Ivica Olic's attempt was saved and then Bastian Schweinsteiger's attempt hit the post and missed. Bayern lost again, even more painfully than before.

[Related: Bayern Munich heavily favored to beat Borussia Dortmund]

They could have easily had a collective mental breakdown after such a devastating defeat. Instead, they have had one of the greatest seasons in the history of German football, scoring five, six, even nine goals at a time while keeping opponents scoreless for so many consecutive matches that goalkeeper Manuel Neuer started doing drills with his teammates during games just to stay fresh. They've already won the Bundesliga, they absolutely demolished Barcelona by an aggregate score of 7-0 in the Champions League semifinals and now they have two finals — this European final and the German Cup final — left to complete the treble. They are being hailed as the new benchmark by which all other clubs are judged, but they still need to get over this last hump to be considered the undisputed best in Europe.

The Managers

Jurgen Klopp (Borussia Dortmund): Eccentric and without a filter, 45-year-old Klopp has become an international darling. He led Dortmund to Bundesliga titles in 2010/11 and 2011/12, but taking the club to their first Champions League final since they won it in 1997 has brought him a new level of celebrity. He convulses around the touchline like a good-natured lion wearing an electrified collar. After matches, he gives delightful interviews and in the lead-up to this match, he called Bayern a Bond villain in an excellent conversation with the Guardian.

"We are a club, not a company," Klopp began when asked to give a pitch to neutral fans, "but it depends on which kind of story the neutral fan wants to hear. If he respects the story of Bayern, and how much they have won since the 1970s, he can support them. But if he wants the new story, the special story, it must be Dortmund. I think, in this moment in the football world, you have to be on our side."

Jupp Heynckes (Bayern Munich): In Lethal Weapon terms, Heynckes is the Murtaugh to Klopp's Riggs. Except they're not partners and Heynckes only occasionally has an "I'm too old for this s***" look on his face. The 68-year-old has led Bayern to a Bundesliga title and two Champions League finals in the last two years, only getting better and setting all kinds of records along the way, yet it was announced way back in January that former Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola would replace him at the end of the season and Heynckes would be put on a chunk of ice and pushed out to sea.

The timing of the announcement and the announcement itself are both slaps in the face to Heynckes, but he's quietly gone about his business of steamrolling all in Bayern's path. After working the final Bundesliga match of the season (in his hometown, no less) last week, he teared up during his press conference.

Key Players

Borussia Dortmund...

Marco Reus: Just 23 years old and in his first season with Dortmund — the club he left as a youth player in 2006 — Reus has shown why they paid Gladbach €17 million to get him back. He was named Germany's footballer of the year in 2012. He's excellent on the ball, he can pass, he can shoot, he scored 19 goals in all competitions this season and he can probably beat you in any Pokemon video game out there. That last part is just a guess, but it's probably true. Don't question it.

Robert Lewandowski: With 10 goals in the Champions League this season — four of which he scored in one match against Real Madrid — only Cristiano Ronaldo (12) has scored more. Everything you need to know about Lewandowski can be found here. And if you don't want to know anything about him, well, that's already been ruined for you now, hasn't it?

Bayern Munich...

Thomas Muller: Bayern's leading scorer in the Champions League (8) and second best scorer in the Bundesliga (13), Muller is always a threat. He also seems a little unhinged. He likes to scream. He might own a suit made out of human skin.

Franck Ribery: Consistently capable of scoring a brilliant goal himself or setting up his teammates to do so with ease, Ribery has been one of the keys to Bayern success these last handful of years. If you invade the pitch after a match, he will hug you and give you his shirt.

Honorable mention: Mario Gomez. Though he's fallen out of favor since the arrival of Mario Mandzukic last summer, the prolific scorer has his own Internet button. And it's wonderful. So there's that.

Key Injuries

Mario Gotze (Borussia Dortmund): One of the jewels of German football, 20-year-old Gotze has been with Dortmund since he was nine years old. He will miss the final with a hamstring injury, relegating one of the match's biggest sub-plots to watch from the seats. At the end of April, it was revealed that Bayern had triggered Gotze's €37-million release clause and lured him to agree to a summer move. This was why Klopp called Bayern a Bond villain.

Mario Gotze (Bayern Munich): If he had played in the final, would he have acted as a double agent? Is that why Bayern secured his services so long before the transfer window even opens? Even though he's injured, he will still have access to Dortmund's dressing room, so maybe he'll put stool softeners in their sports drinks.

How They Win

Borussia Dortmund: Speed and quickness on the counter attack, capitalizing on the mistakes of opponents and disorienting them with the awkward yelps of their manager on the touchline.

Bayern Munich: Normally, it's complete and total annihilation, but against Dortmund they have to be a little more careful.

Commentator Talking Points

Some words, phrases and facts you're likely to hear from the match commentators...

-"London calling."

-"The German revolution."

-"Is the Bundesliga the best league in the world?"

-"Are Bayern the best team in the world?"

-"Seriously, we will all die a painful death if we cannot decide what things are the absolute best."

-The time nine years ago when Bayern bailed Dortmund out of a dire financial situation with a €2 million loan.

-Bayern president Uli Hoeness doesn't pay his taxes.

-"Wouldn't it be great if Lionel Messi was here?"

-And if you're watching the U.S. broadcast of the match: The mispronunciations, incomprehensible shouting and confused ramblings of Gus Johnson.

What To Do After The Match

If Dortmund win: Pump "Kloppo You Rockstar" at full blast all night long.

If Bayern win: Listen to the Munich philharmonic's "Mia San Mia" and gently weep along with the players as they finally vanquish their demons and achieve their ultimate goal.

Follow @BrooksDT on Twitter for random musings during the game.

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• Wolfsburg wins Women's Champions League, snaps Lyon's unbeaten streak
• Sacked Tony Pulis thanks Stoke fans in letter to newspaper
• Man City players visit Giants training facility

Matze Knop, the comedian and prolific impersonator of Bundesliga personalities who previously gave us "Luca Toni Numero Uno" (the greatest song of all time), is back with yet another tune about Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp. Knop gave Baron Von Borsig's fist-pumper "Kloppo Du Popstar" an English twist ahead of the Champions League final at Wembley and so we have the video for "Kloppo You Rockstar" in all its odd glory above.

But if you want to celebrate Klopp with a smoother club jam, Knop has you covered there too. Here's "I want to be like Jurgen Klopp"...

Man City visited the New York Giants training facility on Wednesday in between attending a press conference for the club's new MLS venture and flying out to St. Louis for the first of their two post-season friendlies against Chelsea. During the tour, Giants quarterback Eli Manning threw a few passes to Joe Hart and James Milner, both of whom showed soft hands.

Upon making his catch, Milner was given an added surprise from long snapper Zak Deossie which might have required a change of underpants.

Here's a longer look at the visit in which the Giants players tell their guests how they always play with them in FIFA, Carlos Tevez has no idea what they're saying and the Giants' VP of communications calls Joe Hart "Joel Hart."

Tony Pulis' second spell as Stoke City manager has come to an end following a disappointing season in which the club finished 13th in the Premier League. After his initial three years with Stoke between 2002 and 2005, Pulis returned in the summer of 2006. He won promotion to the Premier League and eventually led Stoke to their first ever FA Cup final in 2011 and a spot in the Europa League. The baseball cap and tracksuit wearing 55-year-old, who physically fought one of his own players in 2009, ultimately didn't reach the heights expected of him with the money he was able to spend. So now he's gone.

But on his way out the door, he took a cue from Roberto Mancini's full-page ad in the Manchester Evening News saying goodbye to Man City supporters last weekend and penned a farewell letter to Stoke fans that ran in a local paper.

From The Sentinel:

I'D like to start by thanking every single one of you who have made the last decade so special for me at Stoke City.

I am grateful for this opportunity here to express my gratitude because, unlike Roberto Mancini in his local paper last week, I can't afford to take out a full-page advert.

After running through his list of memorable moments and achievements, Pulis concluded by saying:

Of course I am disappointed I cannot carry on in a job I have loved from first minute to last.

But I accept the club's decision to move things in a different direction because that is the right of any owner.

The journey stops here, but what a journey.

And you, Stoke's City's wonderful support, have played such a massive part in the distance we have travelled over the last 10 years.

That is how vital your support is.

And that is why I urge you (for one last time) to get behind the new manager just like you got behind the old one.

Thank you so much.

It was a mix between a lovely goodbye and a subtle "let me remind the ingrates of all I did for this club" from Pulis. I have to think that if Rafa Benitez had done this after leaving Chelsea, it would've been very similar to our version of his note to Jose Mourinho.

This might be the easiest penalty call of all time. A player in green gathers a rebound off the post with his back to the goal. A player in red then clumsily falls into him from behind, sending them both to ground. With the player in green sitting over the ball, red gets up and starts kicking him. Two of his teammates then join in and suddenly they're kicking the guy like he robbed someone's grandmother.

The penalty was awarded, but it appears no one was booked for the attack. Probably because the referee didn't want them to gang up on him next.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Video via Bola Nas Costas

Manchester City Football Club have announced that they have purchased Major League Soccer for an undisclosed sum. This comes days after it was revealed that the Premier League club owned by Sheikh Mansour will co-own MLS's 20th franchise, New York City FC, which will begin play in 2015. And according to Man City, the decision to buy the whole league arose from their desire to eliminate its tight salary cap.

"We're very excited about the NYCFC project and so we've wasted no time in working towards building the team," Man City CEO Ferran Soriano told reporters. "But then we found out about this 'salary cap' that is already prohibiting us from signing all the players we want and giving them all the money we want to give them. So we asked our partners at the New York Yankees what it was and they had no idea either. I mean, it's a nonsense phrase like 'football bat' or 'Champions League winner Roberto Mancini.' So we decided to just buy the whole league and now it's gone."

Though Man City and the New York Yankees have both been accused of spending their way to success in their respective leagues without salary caps, MLS prohibits teams from going over a $2.95 million limit. Up to three Designated Player slots can be used per team, where the maximum single-player budget of $368,750 can be exceed without counting against the cap. But now those rules are no more, clearing the path for NYCFC, who recently named former Man City midfielder and U.S. national team captain Claudio Reyna the club's first director of football, to bring in as many marquee players that limitless funding can buy.

Not content to stop there, Soriano also announced another key change now that Man City are in charge of the entire league.

"From now on the league will be called Manchester United Smell Like Stink," Soriano added, completely serious. "If anyone abbreviates it, they will be sued. Also, the new commissioner is former Man City player Joey Barton. We look forward to this new and exciting chapter in the league's history."

Reached for comment, Commissioner Barton said he will conduct his new duties exclusively through Twitter since he refuses to ever leave France.

It's been three years since Qatar was awarded hosting duties for the 2022 World Cup and the top brass of football leagues and organizations are starting to realize that this might be really terrible. A lightning bolt of common sense hit FIFA president Sepp Blatter a few days ago, when he argued that air conditioned stadia alone wouldn't help the "array of social and cultural activities" that make up the World Cup. And now Bundesliga CEO Christian Seifert has stated how irrational the whole concept is and how moving the World Cup to winter would wreak havoc on club football.

From the BBC:

Bundesliga chief executive Christian Seifert said "I am not sure legally you can say 'we'll just play in winter'."

Sepp Blatter, president of world governing body Fifa, said last week it is "not rational and reasonable'' to play in the summer heat in Qatar, but has stopped short of advocating a winter World Cup.

Seifert said it is "impossible" to play in Qatar in the heat of the summer, adding that the decision to hold the tournament in the Middle East country is "not for the good of the game".

But Seifert isn't backing Blatter on this issue. He's pointing a finger squarely at FIFA.

"I'm not sure of the credibility of Fifa.

"It shows me Fifa, as a body which says what's good for the game, ignores completely the day-by-day basis in those leagues who are effectively the core and the heart of football - not the tournament that comes up every four years."

Seifert does have a point, but this shouldn't be news to him. FIFA doesn't care about "the core and the heart of football." FIFA cares about the massive party/cash cow they directly benefit from every four years at a given nation's expense. "The core and the heart of football?" FIFA headquarters is shaking with laughter at that one. But will having the World Cup in Qatar inhibit FIFA's ability to print money? That's the question that has Blatter doubting the decision.

So now that everyone is coming their senses, what now? Well, Seifert says it's out of his hands. "At the end of the day the lawyers decide if there is a re-vote. I am absolutely sure if countries like England see a chance of a re-vote they will force a re-vote."

From feuding with his own players to waiting for referees at their cars after matches to jamming his fingers in Tito Vilanova's eyeball, Jose Mourinho's three years at Real Madrid featured many entertainingly villainous moments. Now that it's been made official that the man who disrupted Barcelona's serene reign atop Spanish football will leave at the end of the season, Barca vice president Carles Vilarrubi has said what everyone at his club is probably thinking.

From Football Espana:

“I said this three years ago through other means and now that he is no longer Coach I can repeat what I thought then, that Mourinho would be a scourge on Spanish football. Now he no longer is,” Vilarrubi declared on Radio Catalunya.

“Seeing him leave is positive for Spanish football because he did not make for a positive climate.

“Madrid don’t care, although results have not accompanied him.”

You can quibble about the climate Mourinho helped create and how the rivalry between Real Madrid and Barcelona might have been at its all-time best as a direct result of Mourinho's involvement, but the frequently repeated claim that "results have not accompanied" his time in Madrid is wrong. And the mere fact that Barcelona are so happy to see him go makes that clear. If he was an easily defeated jerk, they wouldn't care about him.

Only Miguel Munoz and Vicente Del Bosque have coached more matches than Mourinho at Real Madrid in the club's entire history. Though both won more trophies, Mourinho has a far superior winning percentage (73 percent versus 59 and 54 percent, respectively). In fact, only Mourinho short-lived predecessor, Manuel Pellegrini had a better winning percentage at Real Madrid (75 percent).

Prior to Mourinho's arrival, Real Madrid had not won La Liga in two years. Last season he not only kept Barcelona from winning it for a fourth straight season, but set a points record (100) on the way to claiming the title. In his first season, he won Real Madrid's first Copa del Rey in 20 years (Real went through 20 managerial changes in that span). In the Champions League, he could not deliver the club's first European Cup since 2002, but as he stressed in a recent press conference defending his record, he did reach the semifinals three straight seasons after Real Madrid's 18 different managers in the previous 21 years only reached a total of five semifinals. In the three years before his arrival, they couldn't get past the round of 16.

Did Mourinho win as many trophies as Pep Guardiola did at Barcelona? Of course not. But it could be argued that the difference in culture at the two clubs prevented that long before Mourinho even arrived. Barcelona have had half as many managers in the last 20 years as Real Madrid and they haven't had to deal with Florentino Perez twice assembling Galactico squads based more on superstar name recognition than cohesion on the pitch.

But, Mourinho's abrasive reign at Real Madrid means that anything short of three straight trebles would've been seen as failure because it's easy to find faults in someone you hate with every fiber of your being.

Undeterred after a trial at Chelsea came to nothing earlier this year, David Beckham's oldest son Brooklyn has been training with another London club, QPR. A flurry of initial reports claimed that 14-year-old Brooklyn had signed with QPR, but the club clarified that he is not (yet) a member of their academy via Twitter.

Contrary to reports, Brooklyn Beckham has been training at #QPR but has not joined our academy.

— QPR FC (@OfficialQPR) May 21, 2013

Brooklyn's father, who signed with Manchester United at the age of 14 (fantastic picture here), played his final match last weekend. So in a way, it would be fitting that the first of David Beckham's sons begins his career days after he ended his and at the same age as he started.

According to Reuters, bookmakers have the odds of Brooklyn playing for England like his father did (a record 115 times) at 12-1 and the odds of him one day playing in the Premier League at 9-2. He definitely won't be doing that with relegated QPR next season, though.

Here's video of Brooklyn showing PSG defender Thiago Silva his skills while goofing around with his brothers at a PSG training session last month...

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• MLS expansion could bring soccer to Yankee Stadium
• Why the next EPL season will be much better than this one
• Jose Mourinho tasked with reviving Chelsea again

A disgruntled fan of Argentine Primera Division side Argentinos Juniors decided to express their frustration with the club by throwing false teeth on pitch during their 3-1 loss to Belgrano on Monday. Currently at the very bottom of the league table, Argentinos Juniors surrounded the third goal in the 60th minute, prompting debris to rain down on the pitch from the stands. Among the paper and other junk on the pitch near Argentinos Juniors' bench sat the dentures. Like Santa Claus at a deviant sex party.

The home fans continued to yell out in anger as the camera searched the crowd for someone missing a set of teeth, but, like the person who smeared poo in Crystal Palace's dressing room last week, the denture thrower remains a mystery.

After years of very publicly planning and searching for a suitable ownership group to front a second MLS team in New York, the league has found it in a partnership between Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour of Abu Dhabi and the New York Yankees. The new team will be called New York City FC and will begin play in 2015 as the league's 20th club. It also marks the resolution of a very public spat between MLS commissioner Don Garber and Yankees president Randy Levine.

According to Reuters, Sheikh Mansour, who has pumped hundreds of millions of pounds into Premier League club Man City since buying it in 2008, will be the "majority partner" in NYCFC while the Yankees will be an "active member of the ownership group." The new MLS club required a record $100 million franchise fee.

The Yankees' involvement is a bit surprising after Garber and Levine traded verbal barbs in 2009. While speaking to the Associated Press Sports Editors, Garber made mention of empty seats in the new Yankee Stadium and the Mets' Citi Field. Levine shot back by saying, "Don Garber discussing Yankee attendance must be a joke. We draw more people in a year than his entire league does in a year. If he ever gets Major League Soccer into the same time zone as the Yankees, we might take him seriously. Hey Don, worry about Beckham, not the Yankees. Even he wants out of your league." And now they're partners on an MLS club.

MLS's other New York club is owned by Austrian energy drink company Red Bull and play in a specially built three-year-old stadium in Harrison, NJ. The league has openly stated that they want to create a local rivalry for the New York Red Bulls with a new club based in one of New York City's five boroughs. Though that is still the plan, the club has been created before a proper home has been found.

From MLSsoccer.com:

In order to begin play in 2015, NYCFC will arrange for an interim venue but will also seek a permanent home in New York. The club says it will continue the discussions already under way with the City of New York, local residents, community and business leaders, and soccer leagues about a possible new stadium in Flushing Meadows Corona Park (FMCP) in Queens, while also continuing to look at other potential sites.

“New York City FC will have a permanent home in the City in the great traditions of New York sports and world soccer -- a home that must be a sports, commercial and civic success,” Soriano said. “But in considering any stadium site, we will listen first. This is what we have always done in Manchester and what we will do in New York. Only in this way, can the Club truly represent the City whose name it will carry.”

Levine said that "Yankee Stadium is a potential place to play" during the search for a permanent home for NYCFC, but the logistics of converting the field with both teams in season at the same time seem like they would be a headache for both the Yankees and MLS. Here's a time lapse video of that lengthy conversion process:

The reborn New York Cosmos, who begin play in the second-division NASL later this year, were thought to be favorites to become MLS's second New York club for a while now. But when the combination of the Yankees' name and Man City's endless money came along, it blew the Cosmos out of the water.

There has been talk that Man City would use an MLS club as something of a feeder team for their Premier League squad — sending young players and older cast-offs to America to develop and/or wallow until Man City decide what to do with them. Whether this type of set-up and relationship with a Premier League club is good for MLS remains to be seen, but the league's reputation as a developer of talent that can transition to the best leagues in the world has grown in recent years. But Man City have the resources to make NYCFC the biggest club in MLS (within its tight salary cap constraints, of course) and they say they plan on doing just that.

From MLSSoccer.com:

"Our first idea and our first objective is to bring to New York the best football club that we're able to produce," said Manchester City CEO Ferran Soriano. "And that means using all our expertise, our scouting network all over the world and also our players."

Soriano said that the club will bring to bear all its resources to ensure the club is successful.

"Obviously we're going to make extensive use of our resources and knowledge, not only in Manchester but globally," Soriano said. "The teams are going to have synergies all over, from the sports point of view and commercial point of view. We're lucky the name is very similar and the teams might look similar, but this is something we'll be working on in the coming months."

You can already find NYCFC on Twitter and the club also has a website that features that same design and light-blue color as Man City's official website.

Surely by no coincidence, Man City are currently in New York, where they will a postseason friendly against Chelsea on Saturday at Yankee Stadium, of course.

More soccer coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• David Beckham’s son Brooklyn training with QPR academy
• Why the next EPL season will be much better than this one
• Jose Mourinho tasked with reviving Chelsea again

Brighton & Hove Albion have apologized to rivals Crystal Palace for the excrement that was smeared in the visitors' dressing room before the second leg of their Championship playoff semifinal. Despite the welcoming gift left by a mystery poo smearer, Crystal Palace went on to win the match 2-0 to advance to next week's final against Watford.

From the Guardian:

An angry Ian Holloway told his opposite number Gus Poyet what Palace had found as they shook hands on the touchline after the teams had emerged from the tunnel.

Poyet was apparently so disgusted to learn of the incident that he sent an email to staff demanding that the culprit be found and sacked. He and his coaching team have since been suspended by the club, apparently partly because the hierarchy were annoyed by aspects of Poyet's emailed complaint. It is not suggested that any of the trio were involved in the dressing-room incident.

Brighton, who have confirmed no players were involved, insist security will be tightened at the Amex.

According to The Sun, Poyet's email read:

“When Crystal Palace players and staff arrived to the Amex and went into their dressing room, they found themselves in a very uncomfortable situation.

“For some reason, someone had access to the away dressing room and done something terrible, trying to upset everyone related to Palace. To say it in clear English, someone had a ‘poo’ all outside the toilets, over and around the toilets.

“I am angry that someone within this club could endanger our good reputation and stoop so low. I would like someone to accept responsibility and resign.”

But since the mystery of the poop smeared in the visitors' dressing room wasn't enough to hold Poyet's focus, he also decided to criticize Brighton's marketing team for handing out 28,000 paper clappers to fans in the stadium. “Would someone like to admit it was their idea to hand out stupid pieces of noise-making paper?" he wrote, adding: "Whoever you are, you let the club down very badly."

So, just to be clear, smearing feces in an opponent's dressing room is only slightly worse than 28,000 paper clappers.

In an email to Brighton's season ticket holders, the club's chief executive Paul Barber confirmed that "We apologised to Crystal Palace as soon as the vandalism in their dressing room was discovered, and again more formally a few days after the match. As a result of what happened, please rest assured we have reviewed our internal procedures to guard against this ever happening again."

It's unclear what they plan to do to guard against it, though. Walls resistent to fecal matter? Cops in riot gear stationed near the dressing room toilets? A strictly enforced no No. 2 policy within the stadium?

The local police, meanwhile, are investigating the incident.

While retiring defender Paulo Ferreira spoke to the Stamford Bridge crowd after Chelsea's final match of the season, backup goalkeeper Ross Turnbull's two-year-old son Josh became one of the highlights of the year. Wearing his full kit, Josh dribbled a ball towards goal all by himself. He stumbled on top of the ball at one point, but continued on as the crowd urged him to shoot. When the ball finally passed the goal line, a cheer erupted and after a brief hesitation, Josh turned back toward the players and their families in the center of the pitch and raised his arms in triumph.

The moment was reminiscent of Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic's young son Stefan scoring a similar goal at the end of the season two years ago...

Then there was also the Chelsea mascot who pulled a prank on Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard before a match several years before that...

Finally, there was the three-year-old girl from Japan who sang "Blue is the Color" outside Stamford Bridge in a full Chelsea goalkeeper's kit...

And with that, we have reached cuteness overload.

More Chelsea video from Yahoo! Sports:

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• Busch Stadium pitcher’s mound flattened for Man City-Chelsea match
• Jose Mourinho tasked with reviving Chelsea again
• Photos: Best images from the weekend in sports
• Photos: Crazy sports injuries

The 2012/13 Premier League season is over and, to be honest, it wasn't that great. We were definitely spoiled by the dizzying last-minute climax of the 2011/12 season, but watching Manchester United trudge to a 20th title while the rest of the league floundered and groaned had all the excitement of bingo night at Gareth Barry's house.

Until it became clear that four of the top six clubs in the table (including each of the top three) would have new managers next season, the league was feeling decidedly stale with the same old stories (even Luis Suarez biting an opponent was a rerun from his Eredivisie days) and all of its representatives crashing out of the Champions League. But the good news is that all of that is over now and next season has the elements necessary to be bananas. Here are some things to look forward to...

Sir Alex Ferguson is retired -- It's always sad when a legend of the game moves on, but change can bring the reinvigorating elements of doubt and uncertainty. After 27 years and 13 Premier League titles, Ferguson's stronghold on the league is suddenly gone and it's up to David Moyes — a man who has only ever won the old Second Division with Preston North End in 2000 — to fill the void at one of the biggest and most successful clubs in the world.

For many Man United fans, Ferguson's reign has been all they know/remember. They've spent years wondering how other clubs could burn through a new set of managers every season or struggle to contend for trophies. Andi Thomas recently summed up their new plight for Football365:

It's not that Ferguson never made any mistakes; it's that when he did, it was okay because Ferguson was there to fix them, and he was able to do so in large part because he was Ferguson. Now they, like every other poor sap in the world, have to spend time worrying that their manager might not be any good, or might be good but unlucky, or might be good and lucky but end up on the wrong side of a power struggle, or might be good and lucky and have the backing of the board but bugger off after two seasons for somewhere sunnier.

Adding to the intrigue is that Ferguson will still be around the club in some capacity as director and ambassador like a phantom of more certain times. If Moyes falters, will Ferguson be summoned back to his full gum-chomping glory? Of course, it's very unlikely that Man United will instantly disappear from contention, but those new feelings of doubt and uncertainty could make even a second straight Man United title far more entertaining.

Jose Mourinho will (probably) return -- One grizzled manager with the fury of a thousand vengeful gods departs and another one (probably) returns, far more grizzled than when he left. When Jose Mourinho was shuffled out of the Premier League in the middle of the 2007 season, he was simply a great manager with a massive ego. Now he's a great manager with a massive ego and a fresh bruise on his record.

Mourinho is used to accomplishing two things: winning trophies and having his players adore him. At Real Madrid this season, he accomplished neither of those things and he's not taking it well. "This has been my worst season because it's the first season in which I have not won an important title," said Mourinho after losing and getting sent off in the Copa del Rey final. What's more fun than Jose Mourinho? Jose Mourinho in a conducive environment with something to prove.

Man City in flux again -- After winning their first top-flight title in 44 years, City became a little complacent. They went from spending ludicrous amounts of money to just massive amounts of money, they sold off Mario Balotelli and their once delightful YouTube channel became as bland as every other YouTube channel in existence. But going winless in the Champions League group stage, finishing a distant second to Man United, and losing the FA Cup final to Wigan (yes, Wigan) prompted them to sack manager and scarf model Roberto Mancini with two matches still to play in the season. Now the possibilities are once again endless. They can bring in manager with a more exciting style of play and resume throwing money out the door like it's covered in anthrax.

Wayne Rooney -- Will he again turn back on a transfer request and try to prove that he can still be one of the best players in the world while supporters again try to reconcile his fits of disloyalty or will he move on and attempt to start fresh somewhere else? Either way, he has a fascinating journey ahead of him and maybe another hair transplant too.

Season two of Brendan Rodgers at Liverpool and Andre Villas-Boas at Spurs -- No matter how you feel about Liverpool, you'll probably agree that the league was more interesting when they were a contender rather than an also-ran floating around the middle of the table. Brendan Rodgers' time at the club started with a preseason documentary that earned him the sticky tag of being football's David Brent and his results didn't prove revolutionary enough to shake it. Liverpool went from finishing eighth the season before to seventh in Rodgers' first campaign with his initial crop of signings proving largely underwhelming.

But midseason acquisitions Daniel Sturridge and Coutinho showed promise and provided a spark that could be a sign of more substantial improvements to come. Rodgers could still turn out to be less David Brent and more Donald Trump — someone lacking self-awareness who spouts cringe-worthy soundbites, but actually built an impressive empire to sit atop.

As for Villas-Boas, he delivered Spurs' best point total ever in the Premier League, but still finished one point shy of a Champions League spot. Retaining Gareth Bale for a little while longer is a major success (perhaps even equivalent to winning a trophy, as Arsene Wenger might say) and if he can convince the club to make a fresh investment while cutting off some of the fat in his squad, further improvement seems almost certain.

Luis Suarez returns from his biting ban -- Two seasons ago it was racial abuse, this season it was biting another human being (again), so what awful thing will Luis Suarez do next season to keep his streak going? Will he play every match with a machete tied to his head? Will he start an identity theft ring that targets his opponents' grandmothers? Will he help North Korea develop nuclear weapons? And will we finally learn what it takes for Liverpool to start believing that his many controversies are ultimately his fault and not purely the product of a massive conspiracy against him? The anticipation is almost too much.

No more QPR moralizing -- They paid way too much money for a group of talented players who didn't seem to care and now they're gone. The weekly pompous handwringing can be aimed at something else now.

Jose Mourinho will (probably) return -- There's a good chance Mourinho and Suarez will bite each other at the same time.

Soccer video from Yahoo! Sports:

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• MLS expansion could bring soccer to Yankee Stadium
• Jose Mourinho tasked with reviving Chelsea again
• David Beckham's son Brooklyn trains with QPR academy

Barcelona were presented with the Primera Division title for the 22nd time in the club's history after their 2-1 win against Real Valladolid on Sunday. After the match, the players brought their families onto the pitch to join in the celebration, but one person who did not seem to enjoy it was Lionel Messi's infant son, Thiago.

Messi's hamstring injury kept him from participating in the match, but after the final whistle he put on his kit and stepped onto the pitch with adorable young Thiago, who was a bit overwhelmed by the ruckus. Have a look...

"I told you not to wake me up until Jose Mourinho was out of the country. What's going on?"

"I am just now realizing how ridiculous Carles Puyol's hair is."

"This is mine now."

"Noooooo! It smells like Sergio Ramos! He must have filled this thing with cologne and facial hair."

"Awesome. I have the watch the fireworks through the reflection on Gerard Pique's head. This is literally the worst."

"And now my father has my sucking thing in his mouth. Hey! I don't put your Lego stuff in my mouth and you don't put my sucking thing in yours. That's the deal."

Fergie was denied a victory in his 1,500th game in charge as a Romelu Lukaku hat-trick earned West Brom a bizarre 5-5 draw, but there was one clear winner on the day: the man who bought 700 souvenir programmes, spending £2,800 ($4,250) in the process.

Unless he really likes pictures of Steve Clarke clapping, the opportunistic "fan" presumably intends to cash in on his share of the £4 match day magazines, which included a 40-page Sir Alex Ferguson tribute.

[Related: Sir Alex Ferguson can retire satisfied]

The Daily Mail reports:

To mark the Manchester United boss being at the Hawthorns to bring down the curtain on his incredible career, West Brom have produced a 144-page programme, which is the biggest ever produced for a domestic fixture in England.

And one fan stunned a programme seller by handing over £2,800 for 700 copies, which are selling for £4 each.

Another supporter earlier bought 300 copies for £1,200, which means that one twentieth of the 20,000 editions printed are in the hands of two fans.

A number of the programmes have already shown up on eBay, and at the risk of helping to promote the enterprise of someone who might have kept thousands of fans at the Hawthorns from getting their own programme, here's one seller with some still available.

Yet those wishing to hold onto their rare copy and one day put their kids through college with the profits might be disappointed, as the club appears to be printing more.

More news from the Yahoo! Sports Minute

Other popular soccer content on Yahoo! Sports
• Villas-Boas: Tottenham will raise the bar next season
• Sad picture of Real Madrid’s unused Copa del Rey champions bus
• Lionel Messi’s son didn’t enjoy taking part in trophy presentation

In the 59th minute of Zenit St. Petersburg's final home match of the Russian Premier League season, 31-year-old Russian international Roman Shirokov was brought on to boos and jeers. In the first minute of injury time, Shirokov put away the final goal in Zenit's 3-1 win against Volga Nizhny and he celebrated by giving fans behind the goal an "up yours" gesture as payback for his reception half an hour earlier. The referee then showed the striker with a history of being unfriendly a straight red and he was off.

Shirokov was probably jeered in the first place because he tweeted "CSKA deserved the championship!" after CSKA Moscow sealed the league title on Saturday, leaving second place to Zenit. This isn't the best way to endear yourself to your own fans.

Prior to Euro 2012, ITV explained his reputation for cause controversy like this:

That [big-game] mentality has its downsides, though, as a number of disciplinary scrapes have given Shirokov something of a bad-boy reputation in Russia. He's known as 'Mister Twitter' in his homeland, apt - much like Joey Barton - to use social media to vent his uncompromising views. Shirokov once famously referred to fans of rival club Spartak Moscow as "pigs", and to Slovakia's national side as "a bunch of farmers".

So it seems this is just Roman Shirokov being Roman Shirokov.

More popular soccer content on Yahoo! Sports
• David Beckham, a true one of a kind, retires at age 38 | Statement
• Photos: David Beckham through the years
• Sky Sports weighs in big time on David Beckham retirement
• Watch: David Beckham could be very busy in retirement

Real Madrid were understandably confident going into Friday's Copa del Rey final. Atletico Madrid had not beaten them in over a decade and Jose Mourinho had to win in order to avoid the first season of his top-flight career without a trophy. But then Mourinho was sent off. And so was Cristiano Ronaldo. And Atletico ended up winning the Copa del Rey in extra time.

As a result, Real Madrid didn't get to use their customized open-topped bus, which was spotted in the city on its lonely trip back to the garage.

Atletico did use their bus as they paraded through the streets on Friday, though. Here it is in all its glory...

After Borussia Monchengladbach scored three goals in the first 10 minutes of the final match of the Bundesliga season, Bayern Munich came back to win 4-3. Though Bayern still have the Champions League final against Dortmund and the DFB Pokal final against Stuttgart to play, it was still an emotional day for outgoing manager Jupp Heynckes, who is not only from Monchengladbach, but also had two spells as a player there and two spells as a manager.

During Heynckes' post-match press conference, he got a bit misty-eyed while discussing the occasion. "This is an emotional moment for me," He said. "I started my playing career and coaching career at Gladbach. It would certainly have been more emotional if it would have been at the Bökelberg [Gladbach's old stadium]. I associate many triumphs, bitter defeats and some curiosities with it. I would like to heartily thank the Borussia fans for the wonderful farewell."

"This shows me that this is my home," he added, tearing up.

Heynckes said earlier in the week that he would not take another job in the Bundesliga and that at 68 years old, he felt he might be too old for youth-oriented clubs abroad. But he did admit that he has had offers. Still, he hasn't ruled out devoting his golden years to pulling a series of vengeful pranks on his successor at Bayern, Pep Guardiola.

Already crowned Ligue 1 champions, PSG strolled to a 3-1 win against Brest in David Beckham's final match before his retirement. Beckham was given a rare start and wore the captain's armband, along with a special pair of boots (pictured below) he designed himself with the names of each of his four kids and the shirt numbers he wore throughout his career. When he was subbed off in the 82nd minute, he was in tears as his 20-year career comes to an end at the age of 38.

Though PSG still has one more match at Lorient, Beckham made it clear this would be his last. "I feel a lot of satisfaction and emotion," Beckham said after the game. "Tonight is the end of my career for sure."

Beckham assisted PSG's second goal against Brest with one of his signature corner kicks, which Blaise Matuidi headed into the net. After the final whistle, Beckham returned to the pitch all smiles and his teammates tossed him into the air.

"I think over the years, when I've seen players retire — when you ask them about it, they always say 'You know when you're ready.' And I think I know when I'm ready," Beckham said after announcing his retirement earlier this week. "I think I'm ready. Obviously it's a difficult decision because I still feel I can play at the top level — and still have done for the last six months. But I always secretly said to myself that I want to go out at the top." He also joked that he knew it was time to retire "when [Lionel] Messi was running past me," in the Champions League quarterfinals.

Though his celebrity transcended his sport because he married a Spice Girl, advertised products around the world and even became an underpants mogul, he always cared deeply about his football and it showed. "I just want people to see me as a hard-working footballer," Beckham says. And now he finishes his career with 10 domestic league titles in four different countries (a mark no other Englishman has reached), a record 115 caps for England and twice runner-up for the World Player of the Year award. If he was just in it for the money or the fame or swooning admirers, he wouldn't have accomplished half of what he did. Nor would he have shed a tear as he came off the pitch for the last time.

More David Beckham retirement coverage from Yahoo! Sports
• Sky Sports weighs in big time on David Beckham retirement
• Watch: David Beckham could be very busy in retirement
• Is an MLS franchise in David Beckham's future?

On the same day that the Daily Mail carried a story about how much the Man City players disliked now ex-manager Roberto Mancini, the Italian who wasn't even kept until the final match of the season took out a full page ad in the Manchester Evening News to say goodbye to the fans. "Manchester City supporters 3 UNFORGETTABLE YEARS," the ad reads above a picture of a waving Mancini with the FA Cup, Community Shield and Premier League trophy superimposed beneath him. "You will always be in my heart. Ciao. Roberto Mancini."

Mancini enjoyed great support from the fans despite finishing a distant second to Man United and losing the FA Cup final to Wigan this season. Though the club nor his players had the same faith in him, it seems he's looking to keep the fans on his side even after departing. One last way of thumbing his nose up at those who undermined him.

If only the next page was addressed to Carlos Tevez with a picture of Mancini giving the finger.

"This has been my worst season because it's the first season in which I have not won an important title." That is what you said after losing Atletico Madrid in the Copa del Rey final, Jose. I am already having this stitched onto a pillow to put in my hotel room. It makes me very happy. Like Batman movies and funny hats.

While you were getting sent off and having Real Madrid lose to Atletico for the first time in 13 years, I was just sitting here in my beanbag chair with my new Europa League trophy. You only won the Spanish Super Cup with Real Madrid, but I wasn't even at Chelsea a full season and I still won a better trophy. I have named it Albert. Albert and I were discussing how you have said many rude things about me over the years and how you even got lying liar Marco Materazzi to lie lies about me. Lie. Liar. Lie lie. Anyways, maybe now you and Materazzi can cry together. Oh wait, you've already done that. Rafa burn!

But seriously, I must congratulate you, Jose, because you have done many things this season that I never thought was possible. You beat Barcelona, but you still lost the league by 10 points. You have also maintained a feud with Iker Casillas. Iker Casillas! Who has eyes like puppy dogs hugging unicorn kitten in a river of baby giggles. Here is a picture of him...

How does anyone have a feud with this man? Even Osama Bin Laden would have said, "Eh, that Iker Casillas is a good guy. I'd let him borrow my car." But Pepe...I get that.

But enough about you not being special anymore. Let's talk about why my goatee is like a picture frame for smiles. I beat Alex Ferguson and then he announced his retirement three days later, you won no major titles for the first time in your career, Chelsea fans were so mean to me that everyone now treats me with sweet, wonderful pity, Liverpool fans still like me more than Brendan Rodgers, Roman Abramovich cares so little for the Europa League that he's letting me keep the trophy as a drinking glass for any combination of buttermilk and Pepsi that I want, and you won no major titles for the first time in your career. Everything is coming up Rafa! Fact.

P.S. When you come back to Chelsea and you sit down in the manager's office, take a deep breath and smell the musky odor of Rafa wins. See you soon, Ordinary One.

Previously: Jose Mourinho congratulates Rafa Benitez on winning the Europa League

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

The FA's YouTube channel says the kid nutmegged Beckham in this Zurich appearance during World Cup bid week a while back, but it's hard to tell if he actually did. Either way, this might have been the moment Beckham first started thinking about retirement. [YouTube]

Mario Balotelli is finally on Twitter for real. [Twitter]

Sir Alex Ferguson in 13 paradoxes. [Grantland]

A deeper look at the false story about Mario Balotelli offering his now ex-girlfriend as a prize to Real Madrid. [SWW]

Gigi Buffon plays for Juve, but his heart and pocketbook belong to Carrarese. [Counter Attack]

The Alternative PFA team of the year. [SB Nation]

The Real Oviedo story is worth your time. [Copa90]

Like DT on Facebook for extra bits and chances to win prizes. [DT on Facebook]

Sheffield Wednesday turn down payday lender sponsorship deal. [Independent]

MLS is testing out a ref cam. [MLSSoccer]

If you haven't checked out Howler Magazine yet, you're really missing out. [Howler]

And finally, DT is once again nominated for a couple of EPL Talk awards and we must defend our titles in both categories! You can vote in the Best Blog category here. Both Ryan and I are also up for the Best Blogger award (him for his work at Bleacher Report, me for DT). You can vote in that category here. Your support is greatly appreciated (and any betrayal will be punished by Zlatan)!

Stoke have launched an internal investigation after a prank gone wrong prompted striker Kenwyne Jones to reportedly throw a brick through teammate Glen Whelan's windshield after finding a pig's head in his locker. This comes just days after the Stoke boys dumped eggs and flour all over Michael Owen's car. Michael Owen apparently did not go on a rampage after that incident, though.

From the Telegraph:

Jones is understood to have been furious after discovering the bloody carcass in his locker on Friday morning and threw a brick through the windscreen of Glenn Whelan's car as revenge. [...]

It is understood Whelan, the Republic of Ireland international, was behind the prank and he is expected to meet Stoke officials to explain his behaviour before Sunday's trip to Southampton.

In response to the incident, Stoke released this statement on their official website:

“The Club takes seriously reports of an incident at our Training Ground this afternoon.

“A full internal investigation will be carried out and those responsible for any unacceptable behaviour will be dealt with in accordance with the Club’s disciplinary procedures.”

On Twitter, Jones' girlfriend, Kissa Abdullah, stated that he told his teammates not to prank him.

@theswin they put a huge bloody pigs head in his clothes at training! He warned them 2 keep him out of the banter or else! u kno the rest

— Kissa Abdullah (@kissakj) May 17, 2013

So now they know he wasn't kidding.

With just days before they face Bayern Munich in the Champions League Final at Wembley, Borussia Dortmund have officially kicked off the mind games by invoking one of the Bavarian side's most painful memories in their museum.

BVB have put a Manchester Utd jersey belonging Ole Gunnar Solskjaer on display. Bayern fans will need little reminding that the plucky Norwegian scored the winning goal in the 93rd minute of the 1999 Champions League Final, in one of the biggest upsets in football history.

It is not actually the garment the Baby-Faced Assassin wore in the '99 final, but one he swapped with Dortmund's Knut Reinhardt after Utd's European Cup semi-final defeat of 1997.

So technically, this is an authentic piece of memorabilia to place in their museum. But they don't exactly have to rename this part of the building "The Didier Drogba Memorial Wing presented by Porto" to make it clear they are trolling their Bundesliga rivals for their predilection for losing European Cup finals in the dying moments.

Jose Mourinho did not show up for a press conference the day before the Copa del Rey final between Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid, so Sergio Ramos was left to field questions on his own. A Brazilian journalist in attendance was not pleased with this development, so he took out his frustration on a picture of Mourinho after the press conference.

The reporter was filming a segment when he colleague pointed out a picture of Mourinho, whose move to Chelsea is virtually inevitable at this point. The man then ripped it to shreds and called the torn up picture an idiot. This is what Jose Mourinho does to people. He makes them so angry that they call torn up paper an idiot.

Three short weeks ago, Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini vowed to color his hair silver if he could raise £25,000 for the club's official charity. Well, he reached his target and so his hair is now silver(ish). Fellaini debut his temporary new look at Everton's end of season awards and though it was a hit, it won't last long.

From Everton's official website:

Speaking about his new do, Marouane said: “It’s okay – I think I look nice. It is only for one day but I will enjoy my day. Maybe I will do it again with another colour now that silver is done. Maybe blue next for Everton!"

With the silver hair, Fellaini can go as Jermaine Jones next Halloween.

Before he scored that iconic goal against Greece, married a Spice Girl, won the treble, became the Pied Piper for MLS and got into the underpants racket, David Beckham was just a spiky-haired 14-year-old signing a schoolboy contract in a wood-paneled room with a man who had never won anything for Manchester United. Now, almost exactly 24 years and 4,872 Beckham hairstyles later, David Beckham is one of the most recognizable humans on the planet with a 14-year-old son of his own (who had a trial with Chelsea) and Sir Alex Ferguson is one of the most accomplished managers in the history of sports.

They're both retiring at the end of the season and they're both doing it as champions – Beckham in France, age 38, and Ferguson still in the Premier League, age 71. Though their relationship was marred by Ferguson kicking a boot at Beckham and opening up a cut above his eye before the midfielder left Man United for Real Madrid in 2003, there was nothing but hopes and dreams in that antiquated room with too many phones on the table in 1989.

But well before that momentous day, David Beckham had already made his television debut. Here he is at the age of 12 on Thames Television's daytime show, quietly talking about his participation in the Bobby Charlton Soccer School...

A lot has changed for Beckham over all these years, but his voice is still the same.

Photo: The Times via KickTV

Perhaps to show why Chelsea signed him to a one-year contract extension, adidas set up an intricate "3D infographic" representing each of his club-record 203 goals on the pitch at Stamford Bridge. Lampard's goals were plotted on a virtual 3D axis, which allowed its creators to be "pinpoint placed and showcase exactly where each goal was scored from."

The result is this...

Chelsea play Everton at home on Sunday to finish the season. Hopefully they leave this display up for it.

In other Frank Lampard goal tributes, legendary Chelsea wizard and current Watford manager Gianfraco Zola recently attempted to recreate Lampard's famous 2006 end-line goal against Barcelona in the Champions League. He didn't have much success.

To coincide with his retirement announcement, David Beckham conducted an interview with his former Manchester United teammate Gary Neville. In the interview, Beckham discussed everything from why he felt it was time to end his long and distinguished career at 38 years old to the hurt caused by his celebrity overshadowing his playing career. And how Lionel Messi is ultimately to blame for him hanging up his boots.

When asked "Why now?" Beckham replied:

"I think over the years, when I've seen players retire — when you ask them about it, they always say 'You know when you're ready.' And I think I know when I'm ready. I think I'm ready. Obviously it's a difficult decision because I still feel I can play at the top level — and still have done for the last six months. But I always secretly said to myself that I want to go out at the top."

Beckham has played these last few months at PSG, donating his wages to charity (though, as of April, that charity still hadn't been chosen yet) after his five years in MLS with the LA Galaxy. Though Beckham has only made 13 appearances with the Paris club, he still goes out as a Ligue 1 champion, adding the French title to those he won with Man United, Real Madrid and LA. And at each stop, he won a domestic title in his final season with the club.

"When did that moment come, when did it hit ya?" Neville then asked.

"Probably when Messi was running past me," Beckham joked, referring to PSG's Champions League quarterfinal elimination to Barcelona. "Playing in the MLS last year and winning the championship there and then coming to PSG and winning the French league here, it's a good way to go out."

Despite all of his achievements on the pitch — all the titles and all the caps for England (a record 115), Beckham is keenly aware that his celebrity off the pitch has cast a shadow and one that he doesn't particularly appreciate.

"I just want people to see me as a hard-working footballer," Beckham said. "Someone's that's passionate about the game and someone that everytime I stepped on the pitch, I gave everything I had."

He added:

"I think over the years, my life and my career, people have obviously looked at some other things that have gone on throughout my career and sometimes that's overshadowed what I've done on the pitch and what I've achieved on the pitch. And that's — as much as I say that that doesn't hurt me, of course it does."

"At the end of the day, I'm a footballer that has played for some of the biggest clubs in the world, played with some of the best players in the world, played under some of the biggest and best managers and achieved almost everything in football and I think of course it hurts when people, not question it, but think about other things. And to come to the end of my career now and to look back and to say I've achieved everything with every club that I've played for — played for my country 115 times, been runner-up twice for World Player of the Year to amazing footballers — I'm very proud of that."

Of course, Beckham has no one to blame but himself and the unrivaled genius of his management team for the explosion of Brand Beckham. He married a Spice Girl, endorsed products around the world, posed in his underpants and went through a myriad of highly publicized "look at me" hairstyles. His wife publicly calling him "Golden Balls" probably didn't help, either.

If he just wanted to be known for his football above all else, he could have kept his head (and his hair) down, limited his engagement with the press and just played — like former teammate Paul Scholes, who is also retiring at the end of this season. But, he didn't. And now David Beckham — a name 1,000-feet tall in glittering lights — will remain one of the biggest in the world both to fans of the game and to people who think a penalty shot involves kicking someone in the crotch, long after his playing career ends in a few weeks time. David Beckham outgrew the game. His notoriety became independent of it. For that reason, with his time now freed up from all that training and medal winning, he might now reach even greater heights of world domination.

For more, here's a documentary on Beckham from 2006...

Much has been made of John Terry's decision to wear a full kit and personalized boots to celebrate the Europa League final in which he played no part, but the Chelsea captain wasn't the only dubious person trying to collect a medal at the Amsterdam ArenA.

Sandwiched in between Fernando Torres and David Luiz in the medal procession was 11-year-old Liverpool fan Louis Kearns, who had travelled to the game with his dad and somehow ended up shaking UEFA president Michel Platini's hand in front of millions of TV viewers. The BBC reports:.

It is understood Chelsea FC has no idea how he gained access to the team.

Louis' aunt Francesca Kearns, 28, said: "I was watching the game, but I wasn't paying much attention to it. I've then seen a blond boy walk past the screen and I said 'I'm sure that's our Louis'".

"We were just laughing about it as he seems to get himself everywhere. As Torres went up to get his medal, he was waiting behind him and we realised it was him."

Louis was away from his father for "no longer than five or ten minutes" and was in sight of him at all times.

Louis' aunt explained that the Liverpool-loving youngster was a huge fan of Fernando Torres, and seized an opportunity to slip onto the pitch to get his photo taken with the Spaniard. One thing led to another and he ended up climbing the steps behind his idol.

A UEFA spokesman said Louis was "quietly removed" when he was spotted on the ceremony tribune, which is an extremely sinister way of saying someone with a headset yanked him away when he was trying to snuggle between Lamps and Luiz...

Scroll to 1.02 in the video below to see little Louis' moment in the sun...

More soccer coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• David Beckham, a true one of a kind, retires at age 38 | Statement
• Photos: David Beckham through the years
• Sky Sports weighs in big time on David Beckham retirement

David Beckham has announced that he will retire at the end of this season and Sky Sports News was all over the story, making sure that no matter where your eyeballs are looking, you know the news. Except for the part of the screen with former England manager Steve McClaren looking forlorn.

Beckham released a statement on his Facebook page to announce his decision. Here it is in full:

I'm thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to continue but I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level. If you had told me as a young boy I would have played for and won trophies with my boyhood club Manchester United, proudly captained and played for my country over one hundred times and lined up for some of the biggest clubs in the world, I would have told you it was a fantasy. I'm fortunate to have realised those dreams.

To this day, one of my proudest achievements is captaining my country. I knew every time I wore the Three Lions shirt, I was not only following in a long line of great players, I was also representing every fan that cared passionately about their country. I'm honoured to represent England both on and off the pitch.

I wouldn't have achieved what I have done today without my family. I'm grateful for my parents' sacrifice, which made me realise my dreams. I owe everything to Victoria and the kids, who have given me the inspiration and support to play at the highest level for such a long period. I also want to thank Simon Fuller and his team for their continued support.

I want to thank all my team-mates, the great managers that I had the pleasure of learning from. I also want to thank the fans who have all supported me and given me the strength to succeed.

Nothing will ever completely replace playing the game I love, however I feel like I'm starting a new adventure and I'm genuinely excited about what lies ahead. I'm fortunate to have been given many opportunities throughout my career and now I feel it's my time to give back.

Beckham goes out as a Ligue 1 champion with PSG, rounding out his impressive record of winning a title in his last season with each of his four clubs (Man United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy and PSG). Beckham is also the only Englishman to win domestic titles in four different countries.

Related video from Yahoo! Sports:

More David Beckham coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• David Beckham, a true one of a kind, retires at age 38 | Statement
• Photos: David Beckham through the years
• David Beckham's most memorable moments
• Photos: David Beckham's hair evolution

Congratulations, Rafa. You have proven that you can win the Europa League with the reigning champions of Europe. This is as impressive as Cristiano Ronaldo winning a handsome competition held under a bridge. You did something that should happen. And now you want credit for it like a 15-year-old looking to be commended for not wetting the bed during sleep time. So I will give you as much as you deserve.

People say you have vindicated yourself, Rafa. But what have you done at Chelsea? Win the Premier League twice, the FA Cup once and the League Cup twice? No. That was me. When you rubbed a magic lamp and asked the genie to turn you from a blog person back into a manager last November, Chelsea were four points out of first place and had four trophies to compete for. Then you showed up with your 1998 goatee and everything got worse.

First, you signed a contract to be the "interim manager" even though you did not want to be called "interim." Then you could not fit into any of the club's suits, so you had to wear your own. Then you made everyone think you had a brain glitch when you called Marco Materazzi a liar nine times in 30 seconds. Then you lost in the League Cup, the FA Cup and even the Club World Cup, despite watching my Inter win it in person in 2010. And in the Premier League, you struggle to finish third, 16 points behind Manchester United. That is four times more than four. Or four times the number of different countries in which I have won domestic titles. In case your forgot, you still just have Spain. I have a tiny piece of paper that says all of this.

You were supposed to fix Fernando Torres. He had six goals in the Eurjoke-a League, yes. But in the Premier League, he has not scored since December. He has seven goals. One more than last season. If anything, you have him fixed like a neutered labradoodle. Speaking of the Europa League, you beat four clubs that couldn't buy lunch at Chelsea's training ground and then one that has lost seven European finals in a row. This is how you finally won a trophy, Rafa. And you did this with a team that has regularly reached the final rounds of the Champions League in recent years, regardless of whether the manager can button his pants or not.

Is this vindication? If a chef gets a bad review and then heats up a frozen pizza without burning it, is it vindication? You have done the bare minimum with the talented team at your disposal and so you get the bare minimum credit. You didn't burn the pizza. Congratulations. Now get out of my seat and start rubbing your magic lamp again.

Chelsea are now the first club to ever hold the Champions League title and Europa League titles at the same time (for 10 days, anyway) by beating Benfica 2-1 in the Europa League final. For Benfica, it extends their streak of seven European finals without a win. The Bela Guttman curse lives on.

After an ugly first half dominated by Benfica's supernatural inability to finish, Chelsea went on the attack and Fernando Torres opened the scoring in the 59th minute with a vintage move around the keeper before burying the ball in the far side of the net (gif here). Nine minutes later, Benfica equalized with a penalty from a Cesar Azpiliqueta handball. The match seemed destined for extra time after several near misses and ignored penalty shouts, but Branislav Ivanovic floated in a glorious header off a corner kick in the third minute of injury time to give Chelsea the historic win.

It was a match that perpetuated a number of oddities. Fernando Torres' goal was brilliant and his sixth in as many Europa League matches, but he still hasn't scored a Premier League goal in 2013. Benfica haven't won a European final in 50 years despite seven chances and mostly outplaying Chelsea. And Rafa Benitez will be given credit for vindicating himself as interim manager of Chelsea despite failing in every other cup competition and only winning the Europa League with the reigning champions of Europe. Which is a bit like winning the World Cup's third-place match with the World Cup champions.

Anyway, all hail Fernando Torres (and Juan Mata): Undisputed Master of Our Strange, Strange Universe.

For the next 10 days, Chelsea's Fernando Torres is a reigning World Cup, European Championship, Champions League & Europa League winner #CFC

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) May 15, 2013

Lyon, who won every match and only allowed five goals in their 20-match French Division 1 Feminine season, have offered to replay their French Cup semifinal against Montpellier after a referee mistake tainted the deciding shootout. Lyon won the shootout 6-5 after Montpellier's Rumi Utsugi had her first successful attempt disallowed because the ball moved just before she took her shot and her second successful attempt disallowed because the ref ruled the ball dead for hitting the post, even though it then went off the keeper's arm and in the net.

Montpellier were understandably aggrieved by this outcome and Lyon, who obviously have had no trouble winning without the help of the referee all season, have displayed an admirable level of sportsmanship by offering to replay the whole match.

From Reuters:

"Olympique Lyon confirm they have offered Montpellier a replay of their French Cup semi-final... (for reasons of) fair-play and taking into account the good relationship between the clubs," they said in a statement.

"They (the women's team) have done it like Arsenal and their coach Arsene Wenger did in 1999," Lyon added, referring to an FA Cup fifth round game against Sheffield United at Highbury.

In that FA Cup match, Sheffield kicked the ball into touch so one of their players could receive treatment for an injury. Not realizing someone was hurt, Arsenal striker Kanu set up Marc Overmars for the winning goal and sparking outrage. After the match, Arsene Wenger offered Sheffield a replay. Ten days later, the rematch was played and again Arsenal won 2-1.

The French Football Federation will reportedly decide on Thursday whether the replay between Lyon and Montpellier will be allowed.

More soccer coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• TV station sorry for adding crowd noise to derby highlights
• Mario Balotelli fed up with racism on the pitch
• World Cup fan killed on journey to Brazil

Fans attending last weekend's derby between FC Zurich and Grasshoppers agreed to enter the stadium 10 minutes after kick-off as a protest against increased security measures. Despite the nearly empty stands at the start of the match, chants from the non-existant crowd during this period could be heard in the highlights aired by Swiss broadcaster SRF. This, obviously, was not possible without the help of some editing room trickery, which SRF has now admitted.

From Reuters:

"In order to make the report as attractive as possible, the chants of the fans were subsequently edited into highlights of the game," SRF said in a statement on Wednesday.

"The decision was taken under great time pressure. It was wrong, we apologize for it. Manipulation of sounds or images is not allowed."

This is the part where you suggest your least favorite team with a quiet ground try this and then smugly chuckle to yourself.

There was a time not too long ago when any team on the planet would've wanted Wayne Rooney in their starting XI. But several years, a hair transplant and two transfer demands later and that isn't the case anymore. Now the teams that want him can't afford him and the teams that can afford him don't seem to want him.

Bayern Munich, for example, were recently rumored to be the 28-year-old striker's destination of choice. Matthias Sammer, the German champions' sporting director has made it clear that they're not interested, though.

From the Guardian:

"I don't know what Rooney would bring to the Bundesliga," Sammer said. "I can't answer that. I can answer that we have great respect for Wayne Rooney but there has been no contact with him. There is no contact and he's not on the agenda. No, no. Absolutely not."

When Mario Gomez, a guy who was the Bundesliga's second best scorer last season with 26 goals, can't even get regular starts then you know Sammer isn't just talking a big game.

Rooney's bigger concern should be the first part of Sammer's statement. If he's looking to leave England, that question of "can he perform in a league with a different style of play?" could limit his number of interested parties even further. His transfer request in 2010 brought death threats, but it also brought more money. This one might just bring embarrassment.

A man attempting to dribble a ball from Seattle to Sao Paulo, Brazil in time for the 2014 World Cup was hit by a car and killed in Lincoln City, Oregon just 14 days into his journey. Richard Swanson, a 42-year-old Seattle Sounders fan, began his trip on May 1 and planned visit 11 countries during his year-long adventure. He maintained a website dedicated to the experience at breakawaybrazil.com. Sadly, he didn't make it very far.

From The News Guard:

According to police, Swanson was walking south along the south bound shoulder of Highway 101 near the south city limits of Lincoln City. Swanson was struck from behind by a 1995 Nissan pickup operated by Scott Van Hiatt, 52, of Neskowin. Mr. Hiatt remained at the scene and has been cooperating with the investigation.

Medics from Pacific West Ambulance transported Swanson to Samaritan North Lincoln Hospital, where Swanson was declared deceased.

According to The Oregonian, the blue ball pictured right was found with him.

In a video introduction on his website, Swanson said he was a father of two adult sons and lost his job as a graphic designer last year. Unable to find work, he decided to carry out his dream of going to the World Cup, but since he had no income, he decided to walk. "Screw what happens, I don't even care," Swanson said of the plan. "As crazy as the idea sounds, that idea spurred on to the next leg of 'Well, since I'm going to the World Cup, I should honor it by dribbling a soccer ball.' Which even makes the trip even more crazy."

Swanson initially dismissed the idea as "lunacy," but later decided that "It felt natural. It felt like I was doing what I should be doing. That this was the next leg of my life." He sold his house and felt he was in a unique position free of responsibilities to make the trip. He was looking for sponsors, donations and places to stay along his route.

Here's the video:

Swanson was hoping to support the One World Futbol project, which made the indestructible ball he was using along the way. For every ball purchased through One World, another is donated to "disadvantaged communities around the world." If you'd like to help the cause, you can purchase a ball here.

More news from the Yahoo! Sports Minute:

Other popular content on Yahoo! Sports:
• Andrew Wiggins chooses Kansas; can he deliver on his hype? | Watch: Forde analysis
• Bryce Harper: 'I will keep playing this game hard ... even if it kills me'
• Memphis shuts down Kevin Durant, takes 3-1 series lead

A mere four days after winning the first FA Cup in Wigan's history, the club also became the first to ever get relegated the same season as winning the world's oldest football competition.

Tuesday night's match against Arsenal was a must win if they were to have any hope of staying up. Lukas Podolski gave Arsenal a lead in the 11th minute on Tuesday night, but Shaun Maloney (pictured above) kept the Latics' hopeful with an exquisite free kick just before halftime. Once the break was over, Arsenal's merciless onslaught began and a 4-1 win was theirs.

Though the silverware and Europa League play next season softens the blow of relegation, it's still an absurd range of emotions to go through in less than a week's time. Here's a look at the difference a few days makes...

Saturday

Emmerson Boyce tears up as he feels the joy of a thousand babies laughing while holding the FA Cup.

Tuesday

Emmerson Boyce is too sad to wear a shirt. Roger Espinoza slowly morphs into Charlie Brown.

Saturday

Goalkeeper Joe Robles tosses manager Roberto Martinez into the air while opening his mouth wide enough for woodland creatures to dance on his tongue.

Tuesday

The woodland creatures all have mononucleosis.

Saturday

Arsene Wenger sits at home, in his puffy coat, trying not to think about how long it's been since the 2005 FA Cup final, when he won his last trophy (no picture available).

Tuesday

Wenger remembers that Alex Ferguson is retiring this weekend.

The rivalry between Galatasaray and Fenerbahce was once again accompanied by some loathsome behavior from the fans. After the 2-1 Fenerbahce win, one of their supporters was stabbed to death, allegedly by Galatasaray fans.  During the match, a Fener fan reportedly waved a banana at Galatasaray's Didier Drogba and Emmanuel Eboue.

Drogba later responded to the apparent racial taunt on Galatasaray's Facebook page, noting that both of Fenerbahce's goal were scored by Cameroon striker Pierro Webo. Said Drogba:

''You call me monkey but you cried when Chelsea beat Fenerbahçe in 2008, you called me monkey but you jumped in front of your screen when I won the Champions League, you called me monkey but you got mad when I became Champion with Galatasaray and the saddest thing is you called me monkey and forgot that you jumped my ''monkey'' brother scored twice yesterday… And you call yourself a true fan?? Check all the Galatasaray fans comments and learn from them…''

A man claiming to be the banana waver called in to a Turkish TV show and said the intent of his gesture was different from the way it was perceived. He also apologized, but not to Drogba or Eboue. From Reuters:

"I didn't wave the banana with the aim of racism, I just joined a jeering against (Galatasaray goalkeeper Fernando) Muslera," the man said during a phone-in.

"I am not like that. I apologise to Fenerbahce and Galatasaray fans," he added.

Meanwhile, in Italy, Roma were fined just €50,000 for fans who racially abused Milan players, including Mario Balotelli, over the weekend.

Scroll to 1.35 to see Carlitos hit the deck

After the embarrassment of losing an FA Cup final to a relegation-threatened side that was assembled for less than half the cost of his own Manchester City transfer fee, Carlos Tevez suffered further indignity when he took an unfortunate trip on the steps at Wembley, straight after having a losers' medal thrust in his face.

If only City had taken a more "holistic approach" to walking down stairs under Roberto Mancini, this never would have happened.

Warning: video contains NSFW language

Crystal Palace booked their place in the Championship playoff final with a 2-0 win at Brighton on Monday evening, meaning the Eagles will play Gianfranco Zola's Watford on Memorial Day for the right to return to the Premier League.

Straight after the game, winger Yannick Bolasie captured the elated mood in the locker room on his mobile phone. Future Manchester Utd forward and two-goal hero Wilfried Zaha was so excited by the prospect of a trip to Wembley that he couldn't help but drop an F-bomb. Yet Wilf's elation couldn't be matched by manager Ian Holloway, who broke into one of the strangest shaky-leg dances you're ever likely to see. Perhaps he picked up those moves on Planet Zarf.

With two matches left to play, Manchester City have officially sacked manager Roberto Mancini one year to the day after he led them to the Premier League title. Days of speculation and rumor made it seem like an inevitabality, but Man City announced the decision with a statement on their official website Monday night, the crux of which is the following paragraph:

Despite everyone’s best efforts, the Club has failed to achieve any of its stated targets this year, with the exception of qualification for next season’s UEFA Champions League. This, combined with an identified need to develop a holistic approach to all aspects of football at the Club, has meant that the decision has been taken to find a new manager for the 2013/14 season and beyond.

If Mancini did achieve the goal of Champions League qualification, then he didn't exactly fail to achieve any of the club's stated targets this year. Also, use of the phrase "holistic approach" is already being widely mocked for being nonsensical. Clearly this statement could have been written much better both in explaining why Mancini was sacked and avoiding backlash from the public and press.

The following is the statement Man City should have made...

Manchester City Football Club announces that Roberto Mancini has been relieved of his duties as Manchester City manager. We do not regret this decision. We will now tell you why if you can pay attention and wait an extra two minutes before writing your next snarky tweet about us, which we know is difficult for you.

First, the obvious: Being 13 points behind Man United in the table after winning the league last year is just unacceptable. Also, we lost to Wigan in the FA Cup final. Wigan. We'll repeat that one more time: Wigan.

When deciding whether to stick with Mancini, one of the most important questions we asked ourselves was, "Do we want to win the Champions League at some point?" The answer was a unanimous "yes" if you exclude Samir Nasri's response (which we do because he wasn't paying attention to the question and he's worthless). Given that answer, we simply could keep Mancini any longer.

Roberto Mancini has never taken a team past the quarterfinals of the Champions League. Again, we will repeat that: Roberto Mancini has never taken a team past the quarterfinals of the Champions League. Last season, we didn't even make it out of the group stage, finishing third. This season we finished dead last in our group with a humiliating 0-3-3 record. This is beyond unacceptable for the reigning champions of England. Though we have admittedly been drawn into very difficult groups these last two years, we aren't some scrappy little rag-tag club. We literally have a secret army of robot butlers.

So to recap, that's 13 points behind Man United in the league, a loss to Wigan in the FA Cup final (Wigan), and a winless Champions League group stage with no previous record of success in Europe. But results aside, it's also worth remembering that Mancini physically attacked Mario Balotelli on the training ground this season. What manager gets away with assaulting one of his own players besides Sir Alex Ferguson? Even Harry Redknapp knows you can't do that and Harry Redknapp doesn't even know how to read.

That brings the tally to: 13 points behind Man United in the league, a loss to Wigan in the FA Cup final (Wigan! WIGAN!!!!), a winless Champions League group stage and a physical altercation with one of his own players during training. Also, his style of play can be summed up in Gareth Barry. Is Gareth Barry what you pay to see? Is this a manager we should still have confidence in? Yes, it's lovely that he helped us win the FA Cup in 2011 and the Premier League in 2012 (with support from Joey Barton and Kun Aguero) and he boosted scarf sales exponentially, but it's just time to move on.

This isn't to say that Roberto Mancini is a bad manager or a bad person. But our progress has not only stagnated, but regressed and we see no hope of that changing. So instead of hoping that David Moyes poops the bed at Man United, waiting for another group-stage exit from the Champions League and letting Mancini stay just because people think change is somehow immoral, we've decided to sack him.

Disloyal striker Carlos Tevez will take interim responsibility for the remaining two games of the season and the post-season tour to the United States just because we want to make your heads explode. Deal with it.

While more experienced domestic champions Barcelona and Manchester United held relatively incident free parades through their respective cities, PSG fans celebrated their first Ligue 1 title since 1994 by busting up shop windows and fighting police.

The riots began Sunday night after PSG beat Lyon 1-0 (which was also followed by Zlatan Ibrahimovic yelling at Leonardo until he ended up in the hospital). They resumed on Monday as PSG held their open-top bus parade through Paris. The parade concluded in front of the Eiffel Tower, where the players lifted the trophy and the fans switched back into riot mode.

Some supporters threw projectiles at police in riot gear, who responded by spraying tear gas. Others used makeshift battering rams to bust the glass of shop windows. And one man even climbed atop a museum because why not?

The party was eventually cut short as police dealt with the unruly crowd, which began climbing up the temporary scaffolding on a nearby building. From Reuters:

"The scaffolding is going to collapse. We can't welcome the players in these conditions," the ceremony's public announcer said as the players were forced to leave the Place du Trocadero earlier than expected.

Riot police fired tear gas to try to disperse the crowd after up to 15,000 people -- according to police -- gathered to celebrate PSG's first league title since 1994.

All in all, it was everything Zlatan Ibrahimovic could have hoped from a victory celebration.

Video via 101gg

During an illustrious career that has lasted 21 seasons, Mark van Bommel has brought his uniquely aggressive brand of football to PSV, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Milan. Back with PSV this season, the 36-year-old midfielder played his 350th Eredivisie game on Sunday, which turned out to be a 3-1 loss at FC Twente.

Even though he earned a red card in the 70th minute for a nasty challenge on opposing striker Dusan Tadić, Van Bommel announced his retirement with immediate effect after the game. It was the ninth dismissal of his career.

Hence, the Dutchman successfully pulled a Zidane, and his last act in professional football was a fitting tribute to his own playing style.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

H/T: 101gg

PSG finally clinched the Ligue 1 title with a 1-0 win against Lyon on Sunday. This pleased Zlatan Ibrahimovic. But as he celebrated with his teammates in the dressing room after the match, PSG director of football Leonardo attempted to tell Ibrahimovic that he had to go take an anti-doping test. This did not please Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

The players' rallying chant was cut short when Zlatan began shouting at Leonardo in front of everyone, expressing how he didn't want to get held up doing the test while his teammates partied. "You always ruin everything," Ibrahimovic shouted at Lenoardo in Italian.

The wrath of Zlatan aside, he should be pleased with this latest victory, as he has now won domestic titles in Holland, Italy, Spain, and now France. Teammate David Beckham, meanwhile, is the first Englishman to win titles in four countries (England, Spain, USA and France). Here they are celebrating their achievements together in a happier moment...

This weekend has had so many well-publicized retirements and goodbyes (Ferguson! Scholes! Van Bommel! Moyes! Mancini's Premiership career!) that Michael Owen's final home game of his career almost slipped under the radar. Particularly as the former England star spent that match — a 2-1 loss to Tottenham — as an unused substitute for the fourteenth time this season.

Before the 33-year-old striker moves on to bore the living daylights out of BT Sport subscribers, his Stoke teammates let him know they remembered he was a club employee by vandalzing his Mercedes AMG C63, giving him the ideal opportunity to employ the sorely underused #eggs&flour hashtag...

This is what I will miss once I hang up my boots! Looks like I may be delayed getting to the match. #eggs&flour twitter.com/themichaelowen…

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) May 12, 2013

Owen donned his detective hat — being careful not to pick up an injury in the process — and produced a list of suspects he had rounded down to Dean Whitehead, Glenn Whelan and Robert Huth. He then added Jonathan Walters, Peter Crouch and Matthew Ethrington to the list. So, basically just anyone who might have access to flour and eggs.

More news from the Yahoo! Sports Minute:

Other popular content on Yahoo! Sports:
• Tiger takes advantage of Sergio Garcia's collapse
• Knicks bullied, beaten by tougher Pacers
• Longtime Raiders CEO Amy Trask steps down

With the Copa del Rey final to be played this coming Friday, Real Madrid decided to rest a number of regulars during their match against Espanyol. Defender Fabio Coentrao was one of those players not selected for the match, yet he still took a seat on the bench anyway. When his teammates who were supposed to be there caught on to his mistake, they had Iker Casillas inform him. Coentrao gave him the blank stare of a kid who was just asked about a homework assignment he forgot to do before laughing at his error.

Coentrao then went over to assistant manager Aitor Karanka to make sure everyone wasn't playing a joke on him and when he got his response, he immediately left the dugout and headed upstairs. Manager Jose Mourinho then joined in on the chuckles at Coentrao's expense while Cristiano Ronaldo pointed to his head as if to say "he's a dumbbell" upon being informed of what happened. And those two are good friends.

Having seen this, we now realize that one thing is certain: if Karim Benzema is laughing at you, something has gone very wrong.