Fortuna Dusseldorf's Bundesliga promotion/relegation playoff against Hertha Berlin teetered on the edge of mayhem before eventually succumbing to a premature pitch invasion that probably helped them hold on for the victory.

Dusseldorf won the first leg 2-1 and took a quick lead in the second leg by scoring in the first minute. Hertha would equalize, but had a man sent off in the 54th minute and Dusseldorf scored again just five minutes later, prompting anxious Hertha fans to throw flares on the pitch. And even after Hertha scored in the 85th minute to put the second leg level at 2-2, Hertha fans still threw more flares, pushing referee Wolfgang Stark to add seven minutes of stoppage time.

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The MLS champion L.A. Galaxy visited the White House on Tuesday for the traditional winners ceremony/photo op -- an event especially notable since it brought together the most powerful man in the world and the President of the United States. And President Obama's brief speech about the team quickly turned into a roast of David Beckham (who brought some impressive Three Musketeers-style facial hair).

Obama introduced the 37-year-old Beckham as a "young up-and-comer on the team" before inviting everyone to giggle at Beckham's line of underwear.

"I have to say, I gave David a hard time. I said half his teammates could be his kids. We're getting old, David. Although you're holding up better than me.

"Last year at the age of 36, David had his best year in MLS. Leading the team with 15 assists He did it despite fracturing his spine halfway through the season and injuring his hamstring a week before the championship game. He is tough. It is a rare man who can be that tough on the field and have his own line of underwear. David Beckham is that man."

That got a laugh from Beckham and his teammates before Obama praised Galaxy captain Landon Donovan, who got the biggest cheer of the day despite his lack of a personal underwear brand.

Video of the ceremony right this way...

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The final day of the Premier League season provided more entertainment than we could have possibly hoped for. And even though Man City came back to beat 10-man QPR with two goals during injury time to win the title, we still must ask the all-important question: "What if it continued?"

97' -- Mario Balotelli continues to be an upstanding citizen who quietly helps his team.

101' -- Everton realize that City finishing ahead of Man United means no one will know that they finished ahead of Liverpool.

108' -- Anton Ferdinand tells John Terry to stop trying to hug him already.

112' -- Though he was subbed out with an injury in the 45th minute, Yaya Toure continues to power the entire Man City team by running on a treadmill next to the bench.

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Clearly this Slovan Bratislava fan hasn't flicked through his copy of Hooliganism For Dummies lately. The chapter about not staring down the barrel of a flare while you light it would have been particularly relevant during his visit to Slovak Super Liga rivals FK DAC.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. Doth of the cap to @VikingATS for the video tip.

In Argentino B, the fourth tier of Argentinean football, teams are required to field ten outfield players and a goalkeeper. Much like teams in the rest of the world. Huracan Las Heras, however, temporarily flouted this convention during their visit to rivals Club Atletico Union over the weekend.

With the Huracan keeper beaten during an Atletico attack, substitute shot stopper Fernando Espinoza decided to step on the pitch and lend a hand, obstructing what would have been a certain goal. Like a kid who has just stuffed dog poop into the tail pipe of his principal's car, Espinoza turns around and hastily retreats as if nothing had happened.

Incredibly, Atletico were only given a corner kick for the incident, and the back-up goalie got away with just a yellow card. Espinoza later said his reaction was "instinct", which must be an Argentinean word for "cheating".

H/T 101GG

When Samir Nasri moved from Arsenal to Man City last summer in a £25 million transfer, many Arsenal fans accused him of being a mercenary who was only out for the money (as opposed to all those people around the world who don't want to get paid as much as possible for their work) and wasn't helping his chances of winning trophies. Well, City won the Premier League title in his first season with club and Arsenal, well, didn't. So now Nasri has decided to rub it in a bit.

From the Guardian:

"People at Arsenal tried to make out that I came here for the money," Nasri told the French television channel TF1. "I hope they are watching me now, collecting my Premier League winner's medal. I believe they have not won a trophy for many years now.

"I made the hard choice to come and fight for my place at a big club, and I have proved it correct. I now hope the Arsenal fans can get on with their lives and forget me.

"If all that I was interested in was money, the easiest decision would have been to stay at Arsenal, picking up my money every week and walking into the team. There are many people doing this right now at Arsenal."

Though he had twice as many goals in his last season with Arsenal, Nasri made 31 league appearances for City despite his critics' claims that he would never play there. He also set up nine goals for his teammates, eight more than he did in 2010/11.

No matter how justifiable they are after the rabid abuse he received, comments like these just aren't necessary. If Nasri really wants to get back at Arsenal fans, all he has to do is help convince Robin van Persie to follow him to City. Although, that would be sadistically cruel.

The most prominent images this time of year are often of the unbridled joy on display during title celebrations, but the despair of players on the opposite end of the table is often just as intense.

On Sunday, De Graafschap were relegated from the Dutch Eredivisie after only managing a 1-1 draw at home in the second leg of its promotion/relegation playoff against FC Den Bosch. The first leg ended 0-0, so De Graafschap fell because of a single away goal, which had to be an especially painful way to go down.

After the match, De Graafschap midfielder Rogier Meijer sat on the pitch, depressed and in disbelief over what just happened, when his young daughter, Saar, marched over to him. Wearing a De Graafschap shirt with her dad's number and her own name on the back, Saar put a hand on his shoulder and checked to see if he was OK. He shook his head and laid back while she stood over him.

When a scene that adorable can't cheer someone up, it shows just how devastating relegation is for a footballer.

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Man City held their bus parade through Manchester on Monday to celebrate their first league title in 44 years and during that parade, Carlos Tevez held up a presumably fan-made sign depicting a tombstone that read "RIP Fergie."

In 2009, Ferguson was asked if Man United would ever go into a Manchester derby as underdogs. Ferguson responded, "not in my lifetime." So after Man City edged out Man United to win the Premier League title on the final day of the season, the sign was likely a (crude) reference to that. And Tevez, who played for Ferguson before joining City, seemed to enjoy it. Even though his inability to speak English is well known.

Meanwhile, Ferguson's comments about City's victory are probably an accurate reflection of how he feels about Tevez and his sign. From Soccernet:

"They can go on as much as they like - that's what you would expect - but the history of our club stands us aside," Ferguson said. "We don't need to worry about that. I think we have a rich history, better than anyone and it'll take them a century to get to our level of history."

Coincidentally, Carlos Tevez seemed to be resting in peace when he abandoned Man City after a misunderstanding with Roberto Mancini in the middle of the season and came back just in time to collect a winner's medal.

UPDATE: Man City were quick to issue an apology. From The Mirror:

A City spokeswoman said: "The creation of the tasteless material is in itself reprehensible and in accepting and brandishing it, Carlos has made a significant error of judgement.

"The club wishes to express its sincerest apologies to Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United Football Club for any offence or distress caused." [...]

Tevez, who spent two years at Old Trafford before leaving for City in 2009, said: "I got carried away in the excitement of the moment and I certainly didn't mean any disrespect to Sir Alex Ferguson, who I admire as a man and a manager."

So on the day Man City celebrated beating Man United to their first league title in 44 years, they had to issue a public apology to their rivals. Now they're probably extra glad they allowed Tevez back into the team after his five-month midseason absence.

Yokohama's J-League visit to Hiroshima this last weekend was only six minutes old when Hiroshima's Toshihiro Aoyama picked up the ball in his own half and decided the time was right to make a 75-yard attempt at goal. The audacious strike paid off, and the icing was laid on the long-range-shot cake when Aoyama bowled his teammates over with a superb orchestrated celebration. It would have been nice if he had nailed the strike, but full credit to Aoyama for picking up a very difficult 7-10 split.

Despite being humiliated with a cocky goal and showboating celebration in the first six minutes, visitors Yokohama had the last laugh by eventually winning the game 3-1.

H/T 101GG

Columbus' Justin Meram was hoping to equalize against Dallas after he entered the match just before halftime on Saturday, but instead he ended up delivering a failed overhead kick to the throat of an opponent in the 51st minute.

Meram thought he was set up nicely for an emphatic finish right in front of goal, but instead of making contact with the ball, he caught Dallas' Hernan Pertuz in the neck with the toe of his boot. Meram was shown a yellow card for the dangerous high boot, but eventually scored in the 67th to start Columbus' comeback and eventual 2-1 win.

Pertuz was able to play on despite having his Adam's apple moved to the back of his skull.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.