Dirty Tackle - World Soccer

On the same day we made our 17th expedition into the odd interactions between Andrei/ey Arshavin and the readers of his official website, yet another posting of questions and answers was made that has so far gone unexplored. Until now. The URL on this one ends in "666" so strap in for some weirdness from the depths of doom. You've been warned.

1. From Semenovasvetlana
Andrey! Hello. Where can I buy tickets for the game Arsenal - Manchester United that will be held on May 1, 2011? We got registered on the Arsenal official web-site but didn't manage to buy the tickets because they were all sold out in 10 minutes:
(we already bought the tickets to London and booked a hotel). We really want to fulfill our dream and go to the Arsenal derby. The other sites, that sell tickets to this game, charge too much. Maybe you know somebody who sells discount tickets? Sincerely, Svetlana and Alexey
: Guys, I know it's a big problem. Especially when it comes to such matches.
In fact, there is only one solution: to find profiteers,
who sell tickets before the match. But I do not think you will
be able to get a good discount from them, there won't be any.

Not only is Andrei Arshavin a footballer, author and designer of women's clothing, he's also apparently a ticket agent. I really don't think Arsenal or the Premier League would appreciate him referring fans to shady ticket touts milling around the stadium before matches, though. Then again, he did compare Arsenal's next away kit to "jockey's clothes" last time, so obviously the rules do not apply to him.

2. From sachav84
Hi Andrey, one summer, I was on holidays with family on Martinique and ran into Gael Clichy, I asked him to send you my regards. I wonder if he did it.
: He and his wife are from this place. It is not surprising that you saw him. He didn't give me your regards though.

Way to rat out your teammate and disappoint sachav84 all the same time, Andrei. It's like your son's birthday wish was for you to not be able to tell a lie or something. Yes, I'm fairly certain the film Liar Liar was loosely based on your life.

4. From Ramasila
Andrey, is it true that you're being transferred to Milan?
It's a lie

Hmm now that could be a lie.

6. From Kateee
Hello! We were on the same flight but I didn't take your autograph…. My brother, who is a big football fan, was about to kill me for that ...)))
: Next time, if he keeps you alive, we'll try to correct
this situation, if, by any chance, we happen to be on the same flight again.

In other words, no, Andrei will not send you an autograph, Kateee.

7. From Evgeny23
Hello, Andrey. My name is Zhenya. Unfortunately I didn't manage to become a footballer, so I do dancing ... What do you think about dancing? Do you love to dance? Back when I was playing football I was a goalkeeper, by the way, don't you need a young keeper in Arsenal?)))
Dancing is great. But I wouldn't say that I am a big fan of moving my body to the beat.

Now that is definitely a lie. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Exhibit A:

11. From gusevthebest
Hello Andrey. What do you think about your weight 69 kg and your height 172 cm?
: I weigh more than 69 kg.

Alright, so he is incapable of telling a lie.

14. From Pogrebnyak29
Andrey, do you communicate with footballers from any other English teams, for example from Chelsea orTottenham .... Maybe you go out together to restaurants or something?
: Yes, I do communicate with two naughty boys :) from Chelsea and Tottenham. We go to concerts, theaters together, not only to restaurants.

Referring to Yuri Zhirkov and Roman Pavlyuchenko as "naughty boys :)" makes me wonder what kind of "theaters" the Russian trio go to. Which then conjures images of Arshavin watching a porno and giggling his way through the whole thing.

And with that scene firmly implanted in your head, we come to an end. Until next time.

Photo: Getty Images

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