Sat Jul 16 05:02pm EDT
Ahh, naive media pundits. The folks at Sports
Illustrated recently linked to television ratings to trumpet the success of the
Women's World Cup. Deadspin
and KCKRS did slightly better, glancing at the Google traffic stats for "Hope Solo boyfriend" to evidence
a recent spike in interest. Yet with serious financial issues facing the domestic female league
in the US, can such barometers of passing fancy be mistaken for an
anchor?
No. Of course not.
There can only be one true and conclusive
piece of evidence that Women's soccer has forever entered the American
sporting consciousness: the number of Facebook
marriage proposals to USWNT substitute striker Alex Morgan in the
last 72 hours.
Marriage is permanence, commitment, passion, endurance. Marriage is
'til death do us part. Only this enduring and symbolically important
societal norm can forecast the future of female soccer. Now I know your
first concern with this statistical analysis: would Morgan's glorious
chipped goal to seal the win over France cause a rush of blood to
young men's heads? Probably. Hence, we only counted marriage proposals
starting last Thursday, the day following the game. Passions dimmed, and
cooler heads prevailed. We assume.
Of course, in terms of statistical counting, a marriage proposal
must involve a clear and explicit offer. We did not include any general
"wish you were with me" facebook posts. We did include a
Spanish-language offer, but were unable to translate the German posts.
Thus, if anything, our final number of 27 may be lower than it should
be. Due to logistical constraints, we only focused on a single
Alex Morgan Facebook page. And sorry gents, I know the word "single"
and "Alex Morgan" made your heart skip a beat. In fact she is attached.
Making these 27 proposals all the more audacious.
And here they are, in all their glory...


Thus, as you can see, women's
soccer has finally arrived in America. CASE CLOSED. Susan B. Anthony's
ghost can stop stalking the Earth and ascend to Heaven. Feminists, time
to find a hobby to fill all this new world-of-perfect-equality free
time. These 27 fine young chaps show that the male sporting audience is
without a doubt committed. And we can all look forward to a reality TV
show involving this goalscoring striker if she ever reverts to
bachelorette status.
Elliott blogs about soccer at Futfanatico.com
(Spotted by Tahir
Duckett, older brother of Vancouver Whitecaps defender Bilal Duckett)
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England fans find Brit links in Ukraine ...
Posted Jun 18 2012
Edited By Doug Farrar
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