The Detroit Red Wings: Why I hate this obnoxious hockey team

I've been a hockey fan since I was about 8 years old. I grew up in California, which was not exactly a hockey Mecca. My first exposure to hockey was in watching the Fresno Falcons play; I was hooked on ice hockey after the first game. I am now a proud Dallas Stars fan living near Dallas, which means that the Detroit Red Wings are easily my most hated team.

The Detroit Red Wings are the Stars Western Conference rivals; around here we call them the "Dead Things" or "Dead Wings". We have other nicknames for them, but I can't write those words without offending my mother, so I'll keep them to myself. Instead, I'll share with you my top 5 reasons for hating the Detroit Red Wings, though truly the reasons to hate them are limitless.

Mike Modano(notes) is a Detroit Red Wing

Mike Modano was the face of the Dallas Stars for 20 years. He owns the city of Dallas and is a hockey god here. He helped bring us our one and only Stanley Cup back in 1999. Mo only ever played for the Dallas Stars, until this season when, to my utter horror, the Stars declined to resign Modano and let him finish his career here. Modano grew up in Michigan and he was snatched up by the Detroit Red Wings this season. Seeing Mike Modano in one of those nasty Red Wings uniforms curls my stomach. Now Mo will forever be linked to a team most Stars fans detest. It was just another reason to hate the Detroit Red Wings.

The Detroit Red Wings are the New York Yankees of the NHL

The Red Wings organization has created a hockey dynasty that has led to 11 Stanley Cup's. They, like the Yankees, are more than willing to buy a Championship by paying big money for big players. Though the Red Wings are legitimate Stanley Cup contenders each year, they have just 4 Stanley Cups since 1955. I hate the Yankees and I hate the Red Wings.

The Detroit Red Wings are Arrogant

I really believe the Dead Wings are the most arrogant hockey team in the NHL. They prance on the ice and are smug off of it. Most of the Detroit players are self-important nit-wits. I can't stand watching them play, or give interviews or breathe; they are jerks, which make it easy to hate their team. I've met the Dallas Stars players and they are good to their fans. They smile, they have personalities; the two toughest Stars are Steve Ott and Brenden Morrow(notes), and they are incredibly nice guys off the ice.

Detroit Red Wings Play Boring Hockey

Watching the Red Wings play is like watching a bunch of boring robots skate around the ice. I'd rather watch paint dry, it's more exciting. Why are the Detroit Red Wings so boring? It's because Detroit primarily has "finesse players", not hockey players. Waiting to see a Red Wing deliver a big hit? That happens about twice a season. Every year it is the same old boring Red Wings hockey. They are more likely to whine about getting hit than they are to hit back. I hate boring hockey, so I hate the Detroit Red Wings. They are the worst team to watch if you are trying to stay awake.

Detroit Red Wings Fans

The Red Wings fans are some of the least knowledgeable, obnoxious, arrogant group of wannabe hockey fans I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. They are more interested in getting drunk at the games than to actually watch the game. I guess if my team was as boring as Detroit's I would just drink instead too. When the fans are good and drunk and want to show their Red Wings some love, they throw Octopus out onto the ice. Sometimes the octopus is alive, sometimes it isn't; either way, it's just another stupid thing Detroit Red Wings fans do. I hate the Detroit Red Wings and their obnoxious fans. The Red Wings have the worst hockey fans and the worst hockey team.

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Source: Author's opinion, NHL.com, redwings.nhl.com, stars.nhl.com, espn.com

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