December 20, 2011
The Sheffield Steelers are a hockey team from England that competes in the Elite Ice Hockey League. (Pfft … elitists.) Founded in 1991, their roster is a mix of Brits, Americans and Canadians (including player/coach Ryan Finnerty; based on the available evidence, the lone prerequisite qualification for all players is being a gigantic goofball.
How else can one explain the meticulous recreation of a Nickelback video for the holidays? Well, besides rampant Belfast Giants envy?
Here are the Sheffield Steelers performing Nickelback's "Rockstar" video in what we can only assume was a single take for each scene. Otherwise, you'd have to listen to Nickelback again.
That's Thunder Bay's own Colt King playing the spoken-word role originated by Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top in the Nickelback clip, becoming the only man in history to have appeared in a Nickelback video parody and skated with Dan Carcillo in juniors.
A few observations:
0:30: No one can convince us this isn't Fred Armisen from SNL.
0:39: "Been there … done that" … points to the girl on his lap who was just dancing sexy-time with another dude a second ago. Sean Avery would be proud.
0:48: Underwear banjo guy makes his debut. The boys on the bus are amused. When an NHL team gets around to remaking the remake, this is Scott Hartnell. No question.
0:59: We've seen children's drawings that were less busy than the Steelers' jerseys.
1:25: The mandatory showering scene that all good hockey parody videos seem to have, this one with a dose of homoeroticism.
1:41: No joke, this might be one of the greatest mascots on the planet. His face looks like a peeled root vegetable on top of a welcome mat.
1:55: They gave the nice ladies who make copies in the team office the line "I'm gonna dress my ass." Later, they have someone who looks like your Great Aunt pick up the phone on "everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial." God bless you, sirs.
2:30: The "coolest bars" in Sheffield evidently look like your office break room.
3:33: Someone attempts to nail our crooner in the twig and berries with a foil bomb. This happens to Chad Kroeger, like, every day.
Thanks to reader Keith Hinde for the clip.