June 26, 2011
Full disclosure: The glamour shots from the 2011 NHL Entry Draft don't have the whacked-out surrealism of previous years. (We're looking at you, Bohemian Rhapsody homage.) Nor do the draft picks have the abject quirkiness of last summer's NHL Draft: Los Angeles crew. (We're looking at you, Evgeny Kuznetsov. Please stop looking at us.)
This year's draft photos from St. Paul fell into three categories:
The Dressing Room, like Edmonton Oilers top overall pick Ryan Nugent-Hopkins seen above.
The Stick Raise, a classic draft day glamour shot that will eventually look amazing with the advent of 3-D technology in our lives.
The Shirt-and-Tie, because it's not like their moms shopped at Sears for them just have those items covered by a hockey jersey.
Here are 10 of the most awkwardly wonderful rookie shots from this year's draft, including a few from the draft floor. Our only hope is that next season the NHL goes back to the weirdo stuff again. Or at least invites Kirill Kabanov back.
And here ... we ... go.
10. Yannick Veilleux, St. Louis Blues
We appreciate this image for Yannick's "c'mon, I look absurd" look of quality.
9. Mika Zibanejad, Ottawa Senators
We would have also accepted "political ad for a Republican congressman."
8. Joe Morrow, Pittsburgh Penguins
Everything was going well with Joe Morrow's photoshoot until his stick started talking smack about getting drafted outside of the top 20 and his looking like the love child of Bradley Cooper and Ralph Fiennes.
7. Nicklas Jensen, Vancouver Canucks
Again, the basic problem with this image is its conception. They wanted a shot that looked like a player on a locker room bench. This looks like he's dropping a deuce. And rather pleased about it.
6. Adam Larsson, New Jersey Devils
The No. 4 pick overall, yet with a robotic emotional distance from his success.
He'll be perfect as a Devil.
5. Jordan Binnington, St. Louis Blues
"Ah! [ laughing ] My wonderful one. I see you received my message. You have come to see me at the NHL Draft. You look so lovely. It is as though Michelangelo sculpted you by hand.. then kept you for himself.. in a closet.. to visit on lonely nights. Would you care for a glass of champagna? [camera shakes no ] I knew you would. I knew you enjoy champagna. Because I am Jordan Bennington … THE CONTINENTAL! And now, we must flamenco."
4. Jonas Brodin, Minnesota Wild
A reader submitted one, from Sarah:
"Are you going to be doing the thing you did last year where you make fun of ("lightly tease") some of the Draft kids pictures? If so, I have one that should be involved.
Either that, or someone's theme music hit and he's ready for the run-in.
3. Mika Zibanejad, Ottawa Senators
If Hype Williams took over the NHL Draft photos. The only thing missing is Diddy dancing in the background.
2. Ryan Strome, New York Islanders
CHARLES WANG, HAVE YOU NO SHAME?! THIS YOUNG MAN IS A DRAFT PICK NOT A POLITICAL PAMPHLET!
1. Dougie Hamilton, Boston Bruins
"Now, Dougie, just put up nine fingers and ..."
"WHAT UP?! BOSTON BRUUUUUINS, YO! STANLEY CUP [expletive] CHAMPS"
Yeah, this kid will fit in OK.