February 03, 2014
Up until today, the best thing to come out of the John Tortorella suspension was the giant Tortorella cutout that appeared behind the Canucks' bench in Winnipeg (above).
Unless you truly hate the Canucks. Then maybe you preferred their 2-4 record with Tortorella away. They definitely missed him.
Either way, whatever the best thing about Tortorella's decision to go berserk on the Calgary Flames in their own hallway was prior to today, it's now second to "Don't Push Me", the funkified, auto-tuned version of his last postgame press conference. On top of using Tortorella's brief presser to perfection, it features appearances by everyone from Tom Sestito to Elliotte Friedman, and it is wonderful.
You'd think that was Nile Rodgers on guitar. So funky. So chic. Musically, this is excellent. But the songcraft goes beyond some well-programmed drums or a great riff.
There's the use of P.J. Stock's rant in the second verse, and how, as Daniel Wagner pointed out, it comes on the heels of the commentator saying, "He's gotta calm down, gotta calm down".
There's Mike Gillis saying, "He's an emotional guy. He doesn't want to be known as a sound byte," half a second before Tortorella sings the hook, "Don't push me," for the hundredth time.
And there's the great little rhyme of Roberto Luongo saying, "Everybody wants to win," followed by Alex Burrows saying, "We're in trouble if they jump the twins."
It's all so good. I don't even know what's my favourite part. I just love everything about this so much.
s/t to Robert Routhier.
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