He wanted to watch Game 3 of the Detroit Red Wings and the Phoenix Coyotes, but had to work on Monday night. He even posted one of those maudlin "I'm going to miss the game" messages on his Facebook page. So sad.
Undaunted by the reality of his surroundings, John and Joe concocted a last-ditch attempt to spring him from his work obligations tonight: Inventing a holiday with a fake Wikipedia page so he could call out of work without any repercussions.
You know, like any of us would have.
Thus, the sacred "Kwanza holiday of El Juego De Tres De Los Siete (The Game of 3 Out of 7)" was born, according to Joe. Among the facts about this hallowed occasion:
"The beginning dates back to 1991, wherein the Detroit Red Wings would begin to make history as they made the first round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. Every year since then, due to this astounding holiday, the Red Wings have not missed the playoffs. The name literally means 'game 3 of 7' and is preceded by national holidays el juego de dos de los siete and el juego de uno de los siete. Following it will be quatro, cinco, seis and siete.
"It is customary for any subscribers to the religion of the Red Wings to request days off, often at little to no notice, in order to take part in a tradition that millions take part of. The tradition is to sit on a couch (later rules to the tradition say bar stools and lay-z-boy chairs are an adequate substitute) and watch the red wings game while imbibing the traditional snacks of pizza, wings and beer (pizza, wings and beer optional)."
So, did it work? Of course not, Joe told us. Because it's completely absurd. Still, Joe wanted us to pass it along in order to "give you the answer to any Wings fan who wants tonight off."
And who are we to laugh in the face of one's religious dogma?