December 29, 2010
All of us have theories that we stubbornly cling to despite hard evidence to the contrary. Pour a few pints into yours truly, and you'll hear a well-crafted argument that it's actually the dog's head in the box at the end of "Se7en" rather than the accepted fact that it's Gwyneth Paltrow's. Oh, spoiler warning, by the way.
On Tuesday night, in Team Canada's 7-2 win over Czech Republic, Buffalo Sabres prospect Zack Kassian(notes) was given a 5-minute major and a match penalty for a shoulder to the chin of defenseman Petr Senkerik, who was stretchered off the ice. It was a head shot by IIHF standards that will earn him a 1-game suspension and possibly more.
(On the bright side, he didn't fly into the guy with a John Cena shoulder-block like he did in the OHL, which earned him a 20-game suspension earlier this year. See? Suspensions are a deterrent!)
Those are the facts in our world ... but not in Pierre McGuire's, as the TSN commentator told viewers it was a hit to the chest, not the head, from Kassian. From Heroes in Rehab:
Where McGuire took things to another level was during his post-game analysis as part of TSN's panel. Unsurprisingly, the stubborn McGuire clung to his misguided version of events; incredibly, however, he actually claimed that the impact was caused by Senkerik's failure to properly secure the chinstrap on his helmet.
In order to correct the record, the good folks at Heroes in Rehab crafted the following educational film that dissects McGuire's preposterous claim that Senkerik's injury resulted from a shoulder to the chest and a loose chinstrap:
Let that be Lesson No. 1 to all the young ones out there: Buckle up your chinstrap or else you may end up analyzing a hit that didn't happen on national television while your fellow panelists are dumbfounded by your preposterous claims.