November 12, 2010
One of the most common protests we hear from female hockey fans (besides how terrible the officially licensed gear looks) is about how puck bunnies have tarnished the reputations of women who know their puck.
In other words: It's a battle to earn respect when ladies who love talking hockey are lumped in with those who'd rather offer catty gossip, anonymous lusting and beefcake photos on Internet athlete forums. Or as the following song puts it: "Puck bunnies don't know [cough] about hockey/Because they're there to play a different game."
Tally Deushane is a student, novelist and ukulele aficionado. Her friends Catherine and Susanne are hockey fans but not puck bunnies, which inspired the following anti-bunny anthem called "Puck The Bunnies." It's beyond catchy, quite clever and snarkily wonderful.
Here's Tally, in her borrowed Atlanta Thrashers shirt, with references to Sidney Crosby(notes), Jonathan Quick(notes), Jonathan Toews(notes) and many others. You will enjoy this (PG-13 warning for some sexual content):
They'd give a kidney, to get with Sidney
I'd give an arm to do them harm
They're so obnoxious and they're so awful
I wish they would go and watch some baseball
Because they're so damn stupid and so damn cocky
But they know next to nothing about hockey
Because when Quick blocks the puck
All they to do is [cough] his brains out
And when Toews shoots and scores
They want to throw him on the floor and have their way
Puck bunnies don't know [cough] about hockey,
Because they're there to play a different game
Epic. Only something this incredible could come from the mind of a Star Trek/Buffy/Rocky Horror fan. This is of a Zetterberg Hip-Hop Slow-Jam quality of instant classic.