Thu Jul 10 08:41am EDT
With all the player movement over the last two weeks, some puckheads have been emotionally scarred.
Think of the poor Canucks fan who witnessed the end of Trevor Linden's 65 years with the team, only to see Markus Naslund skate away to the New York Rangers. There's usually only two courses of rational therapy: Crying into your Sedin twins Beanie Babies, or logging on to YouTube and piecing together a maudlin tribute video with Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" playing along.
Why Hockey is Better Than Dating, Reason No. 1,542,890: There's always someone for everyone. Can you believe a fan put the time, patience and extra cents on his parents' electric bill to toss together a tribute to Patrick Thoresen, formerly of the Philadelphia Flyers?
Thoresen's claim to fame was getting hit with a puck in the how-do-you-do during a playoff game against the Washington Capitals; nearly losing one of his testicles. This week, in a decision that launched a thousand "took his ball and went home" hack jokes, Thoresen rejected a contract offer from the Flyers to return to Europe. The team refused to give him a one-way contract, and Thoresen was worried about being sent down to the AHL; or, in Philadelphia's case, being sent across the parking lot to the AHL.
To say that Kevin, a.ka. FlyersFan17, is quite upset about this development is an understatement. You see, Thoresen was third-favorite Flyer. He even created a tin-foil Thor helmet and wore it to home games, as you'll see in the following emotionally-charged Vlog (beware a little NSFW language):
Kevin, we're rather fond of this effort. And not because just you look like Dante but talk like Silent Bob. We eagerly look forward to your Jason Smith eulogy, should he require one.