August 14, 2008
UPDATE 5:41 p.m. EDT: Versus has corrected its schedule, and we've recalculated our totals, which should be fine now. Still ruins our great Ed Rooney joke in the lede, though. Jerks.
UPDATE 4:30 p.m. EDT: We tabulated the numbers in this post based on the schedule Versus released today, where the Sabres and Wild were listed nine times.
It's been brought to our attention by Eye on the Media's Steve Lepore that at least one of the games listed for the Minnesota Wild on Jan. 20 is, in fact, a screw-up by Versus on their own schedule. It's either the Wild and Kings, or it's the Capitals and Senators, or it's a completely different game. Also, on Jan. 27, the Sabres can't play the Capitals, because they're in Edmonton while the Caps are playing Boston. So our numbers may be jacked, and the entire opening of this post may be goofed up. Please keep your eyes on the Versus schedule for when these royal retards finally figure out what they're showing this season. Which they should have done before, you know, releasing their schedule. Idiots. Complete, utter, constantly embarrassing idiots. Moving on ...
How many appearances will the Minnesota Wild make on Versus, the NHL's cable television home, during the 2008-09 regular season? To quote the great Ed Rooney from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off": Nine times?
The Wild and the Buffalo Sabres lead the way with nine appearances apiece on the just-released television schedule for the bull-ridin', buck-huntin', Indy racin', hockey playin' channel. Buffalo traditionally produces monster local ratings for national games, to the point where if the Sabres are in contention the fans back home can move the needle on their own. Since Versus doesn't seem to want to schedule California teams, Western Canadian teams or Nashville, the Wild are one of the few Western Conference teams that fit the demos.
But with all due respect to the Sabres and Wild: NINE TIMES?
Teams are broken down by number of appearances on Versus:
Buffalo Sabres: 8
Minnesota Wild: 8
Dallas Stars: 4
Phoenix Coyotes: 1
Calgary Flames: 0
Edmonton Oilers: 0
Los Angeles Kings: 0
For poops and giggles, we compared Versus's schedule with our own list of can't-miss NHL games in the regular season ... and found that the network is missing six of nine, not including the Winter Classic. We're either really dumb or Versus is really short-sighted in its scheduling ... and we're thinking it's the latter, because how do you not have Sean Avery against either the Rangers or the Devils in October on a national network?