Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• Alex Ovechkin(notes) says hello from Russia with a A&F "Female streaking encouraged" T-shirt; wonder if he's ever worn that to a Scarlet Caps meeting? (Credit Russian Machine Never Breaks for its groundbreaking research into Ovechkin's couture.) Meanwhile, the Washington Capitals star visited his junior hockey school to continue his work as an adviser for UHC Dynamo and to take awkward photos on a scale. [Alex Ovetjkin]
• Teemu Selanne(notes) had the following statement on the Anaheim Ducks' official website: "After thinking about it for the last few months, I've decided to return to play for the Ducks. I'm excited about the summer additions the team has made. I know this team can win." Deleted from that statement: a 1,000 ode to Paul Kariya(notes). Oh, and Teemu will make $3.25 million next season, via Helene Elliott. So if Kariya comes back, it'll be for the hockey equivalent of a bus boy's salary. [Ducks]
• Philadelphia Flyers goon Riley Cote(notes) announced his retirement Monday to become an assistant coach with the
Philadelphia Adirondack Phantoms. With Carcillo, Shelley et al, the Flyers obviously didn't need him on the big club. He was going to be in the AHL regardless. But how many 28-year-olds retire in the NHL for coaching gigs? Weird. [Flyers]
• Huge sports news out of Detroit on Monday as Mike Ilitch makes his bid for the Detroit Pistons, with the hope that it may help pave the way for a new arena for the NBA team and the Detroit Red Wings. [Freep, with cautionary take by Drew Sharp]
• The NHL releases its preseason schedule, including all the neutral-site games. Colorado ... L.A. ... MGM Grand in Vegas. (Uh, Mr. Yahoo! Travel budget guy, you have a second?) [NHL]
• Can't recall if we linked this last year, but Complex's list of "Rap's Greatest Hockey References" was good for a chuckle or 20 when Puck Buddy Geanet S. sent it over Monday morning. Fabolous: "They tried to put two 9's on me, just like Gretzky." That's poetry, son. [Complex, with a strong NFSW/R-rated language warning. Which is to say Lil' Wayne is quoted more than once.]
• Factory Made on The Science Channel spotlighted how high-end hockey sticks are made. [On Frozen Blog]
• Ken Campbell is wondering if Geoffrey Molson's place at the top of the Montreal Canadiens isn't a perilous one for the franchise: "What if Molson discovers in a year or so that he's not doing such a bang-up job? Will he be willing to fire himself from the position for which he hired himself? Not likely, and the other 12 partners in the team are all limited ones, so it's doubtful they'll have the power to do it." [THN]
• Jon Cooper is the new head coach of the Norfolk Admirals, the Tampa Bay Lightning's minor league team. Which isn't really all that exciting until you realize he was the head coach of the Green Bay Gamblers, which means he's the man who ordered his players to slay a bat with their sticks. [Admirals]
• Linda Craft, the Carolina Hurricanes corporate real estate partner (which sounds much more important than, say, the official deer jerky of the Carolina Hurricanes) would like you to attend the Caniac Carnival on Sept. 18. We would like to invite the Hurricanes to remake this commercial with Eric Staal(notes) in drag. Because that would rule.
• Steve Lepore's had a lot of talk on Puck The Media about the NHL's next TV deal, with looks at Comcast/NBC and ESPN. He also had a take on "the rest," including whether the NHL could ever return to FOX. [PtM]
• Another take on Paul Kariya's potential return to the Anaheim Ducks: "Kariya has to know that he'd be under a microscope from the Anaheim faithful. He's never been the most outgoing of people, so he'd probably say something like, 'If I work hard on the ice, everything will be fine.' Which is probably true to some degree, but fan grudges run deep, and there's simply no way anyone could be immune to the bad vibes brought by seven years of resentment." [From The Rink]
• Really nice piece by Dave Davis about how Darcy Regier is the focal point of criticism for the Buffalo Sabres fans, the team's PR gap with the community and whether that criticism is warranted. [Die By The Blade]
• If you're Kovalchuk'd out, Intent To Blow has some arbitration humor for ye. [ItB]
• Finally, from November 2003 on a VHS recorder and in some guy's garage, it's a HNIC impersonation, featuring a guy doing Don Cherry who sounds more like Tony Clifton.