Here are your Afternoon Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

The Pittsburgh Penguins' first No. 1 goaltender once battled late daredevil Evel Knievel in an exhibition shootout for the WHA. Which finally answers the lingering question: How could the overtime shootout possibly become more of a cheap, carnival gimmick than it already is? [The Gazette]

Ken Dryden talks about the current state of physical play and goaltending. This gives us the chance to once again tell you that if you haven't read "The Game" yet, you're on notice. It's required, like knowing at least five good lines from "Slap Shot." [Orillia Today]

If you're not familiar with Canadian sports broadcaster Jennifer Hedger of TSN, perhaps a clip of her open-mouth kissing another woman would do the trick. And if it doesn't, a slow-motion replay of that kiss certainly will. [FanHouse]

Two U.S. Reps make a Stanley Cup wager: Lunch at Primanti Brothers against a shipment of Coney dogs from Cheli's Chili Bar. [Freep]

Speaking of Pittsburgh, the city's Wholey's Fish Market has promised to check IDs and listen for "Midwestern accents" to ensure that no Detroit Red Wings fans purchase an octopus to toss on the Mellon Arena ice. Also a dead giveaway: Trying to buy an octopus. [ESPN]

J.J. Putz, closer for the Seattle Mariners, is a scary big Red Wings fan who rocks a Stevie Y jersey. We fear for Sean Casey's safety in the next Mariners/Tigers Red Sox game if the Penguins take the Cup. [MLB.com]

It's all well and good that the Anaheim Ducks have told Scott Niedermayer he needs to find his smile or retire by the draft. But Ken Campbell thinks guaranteed contracts are the real issue here. [The Hockey News]

Every Facet of the Game makes the case for a grand conspiracy by Gary Bettman to make the Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup champions. You call Mulder, we'll call Scully. Deal?

Finally, Finland talks smack on Sweden via YouTube. Jarkko Ruutu found this hilarious; 80% of the Red Wings' roster, not so much:

Related: Stanley Cup Playoffs, Hockey Fans, Gary Bettman, Commissioner for Life, When Hockey and Hollywood Collide, Puck Videos