Here are your Afternoon Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• From NBC spokesman Brian Walker: "If there is a national hockey team, it would be the Red Wings ... They are the NHL version of the Dallas Cowboys. While we don't root, we are very pleased with all four markets left in the playoffs." So there you go: Officially, NBC was pulling for an Ottawa Senators/Nashville Predators final just as hard as they are pulling for a Pittsburgh Penguins/Detroit Red Wings final. Yep, and "ER" is just as good as when Clooney was starring in it. [Dallas Morning News]

• Would Tom Hicks hold off on firing Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington in order to keep the Dallas Stars alone in the sports spotlight? [Texas Rangers blog]

• Sean Avery gives an exclusive interview to the NY Post, saying he better be carefuly with his healing spleen: "I guess I'd better watch myself when I'm outside walking that nobody crashes into me or that I don't get hit by a car while I'm crossing the street." That seems a little far-fetched; I mean, does anyone even know if Marty Brodeur is that handy behind the wheel? [NY Post]

• And thus did the Pat Lalime era end in Chicago. OK, maybe it wasn't an "era." More like a lengthy visit with friends. [Off the Posts]

• Those snarklings at The Pensblog have finally turned their Photoshop weaponry on yours truly after I had the nerve to say that the jury should still be out on the Marian Hossa trade. This is, of course, an honor, much like how Roger Ebert once wrote, "All I really still desire is for several Ingmar Bergman characters to sit in a circle and read my reviews to one another in hushed tones." Such an honor, in fact, that I'll still go ahead and link to their wickedly funny (though not entirely safe for work) Photoshop tribute to the New York Rangers.

• That Jim Balsillie tried to purchase the Buffalo Sabres isn't the big news; it's that, this time, he didn't start selling season tickets in Hamilton for a team he didn't own. [Toronto Star]

• Is the legal case against creepy former agent David Frost "dead in the water?" [Sun Media]

• While Roberto Luongo claims to be hopelessly devoted to the Vancouver Canucks, Waiting for Stanley isn't necessarily buying it. [Waiting for Stanley]

• Finally, a bench-clearing brawl video that is too shaky, too brief and has some NSFW language. That said, it's apparently from Scotland, which makes it a bit of a novelty.

Related: Stanley Cup Playoffs, Goons and Pugilism, Puck Videos