Here are your Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Epic reader-contributed art from Puck Buddy Craig M. on Patrick Kane's(notes) court-mandated "written apology." This is right before the bell rings, Kane gets on his skateboard and nearly hits everyone in Springfield. We're also rather fond of the apology letter on Mouthpiece Sports.

• Second City Hockey hopes "we can move on now, please" now that Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane has pled guilty to a non-criminal charge. Agreed; this Patrick 20 Cent stuff has completely derailed the conversations about how Marian Hossa's(notes) contract will destroy the franchise. [Second City Hockey]

• Alexei Kovalev makes a strong statement about loyalty by saying he'd like to retire a Canadien before ever playing a game with the Ottawa Senators. [TSN]

• Roberto Luongo(notes) puts a Sept. 13 deadline on contract talks with the Vancouver Canucks. [Globe & Mail]

• Good chat with the legendary Scotty Bowman, including the rules change he'd most like to make: "This isn't an on-ice rule, but I'd like to see them end the practice of letting the playoff finish determine the draft order." For example: The San Jose Sharks rule the regular season, stink in the playoffs and the draft position is determined by the latter. Interesting point. [Bird Watcher Anonymous]

• A young fan gets an autograph on a hockey card from Sidney Crosby(notes), and promptly gets the card stolen. His mother writes a letter to the editor about the theft, it gets on television, and wouldn't you know it: a letter arrives from Mario Lemieux with something slightly better than a hockey card. The Pittsburgh Penguins are pretty good at this PR thing. [Halifax News, via Pens Universe]

• "Scott Niedermayer is all these years later still smoother than a James Bond pickup line." Only with slightly fewer double entendres. [Calgary Herald]

• While we're confident that the Versus/DirecTV standoff will come to an end before the NHL season, Mile High Hockey makes a valid point about why it's getting to be panic time for some fans: "Just so we're clear, if I am not able to see Joe Sakic's(notes) number retired there will be holy hell to pay." [MHH]

Dreger: NHLPA chief Paul Kelly could be in trouble. He reports that Ron Pink could be in the running for executive director if Kelly's ousted. No wonder he finished ahead of us in that Hockey News ranking! [TSN]

• Yesterday, we reported Darren McCarty(notes) was sniffing around for a job in the KHL. Unfortunately, it appears he needs the dough. [Detroit News]

• If Ottawa Senators fans let Dany Heatley(notes) back on their team, can they let him back into their hearts? "Even if Heatley's on the team, I'll cheer when he scores, but it'll take a lot to get me cheering for Heatley himself again." [Silver Sevens]

• Jim Kelley takes the NHL to task for its bid in the Phoenix Coyotes auction, and promises that Jim Balsillie won't be going anywhere should he be defeated: "If Balsillie loses his bid in Phoenix and the NHL "wins" the right to absorb the debt of a failed franchise and sell it at a price likely to drive down the value of other teams, is there any reason to believe that he won't try again with another troubled franchise, say in Tampa Bay, South Florida, Carolina, Atlanta or someplace else?" [SI]

• The appointment of former Montreal Canadiens Coach Jacques Demers to the Senate is pretty fertile comedic territory, but seriously: The dude's overcoming illiteracy and is now going to be able to inspire others though public service. It's commendable and all quite moving; not the stuff of pithy humor. As for his politics, they're hard to get a read on ... [Y! Sports]

• Sharkspage has been doing some interesting interviews with San Jose Sharks personnel, and they've got a piece with scout Pat Funk up today. [Sharkspage]

• Please recall the "fan base ranking" we ran yesterday. It didn't really sit all that well with Colorado Avalanche blogger Jibblescribbits. [Jibble]

• Ditto Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Mark Bradley, who filets the blogger who authored the list for claiming that the Atlanta Thrashers have the worst fans in the NHL. [AJC]

• Zach Parise(notes) takes batting practice at the Metrodome. [Star Ledger]

• Speaking of the New Jersey Devils, they're wearing their old Christmas Tree jerseys for one night only: March 17, 2010 against the Penguins. Which must be all sorts of weird for Brendan Shanahan(notes). [2MA]

• Finally, DayWalk3r has this new Nike hockey commercial that features Jarome Iginla(notes) and some really creative goalie hair.

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