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Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:43 pm EDT

Photo Expedition: USA Hockey would like to scare you to death

By Greg Wyshynski

While this may appear, at first glance, to be Patrick Bateman from "American Psycho" endorsing Frigidaire, it's actually Ryan Miller(notes) of the Buffalo Sabres at the 2010 U.S. Olympic Team Media Summit. This is, however, the Arctic's cuddliest serial killer:

Good to see Patrick Kane(notes) shaking that thug-life rep. Playing the part of the icicle? You guessed it: Jonathan Toews(notes) ...

Miller, Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks, Dustin Brown(notes) of the Los Angeles Kings, Zach Parise(notes) of the New Jersey Devils, Ryan Suter(notes) of the Nashville Predators and US women's players Julie Chu and Jenny Potter all took part in the photo fun at the Palmer House Hilton Chicago. Coming up, photos you won't be able to un-see ...

Here is one of the more unique hockey photo shoots we've ever seen. All photos are from Harry How or Jamie Squire/Getty Images.  

Visit USAHockey.com for more about ... er ... USA Hockey.

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58 Comments

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  1. craiglo13
    1. Posted by craiglo13 Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:53 pm EDT

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    Probably some of the worst pictures taken. Ever.
  2. Bubbabanjo
    2. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:54 pm EDT

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    Oh girls...thats so last year. No one is using glass dildos this year!!!
    Puh-leeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!!
    Wyshynski U stink!!!
  3. Katebits
    3. Posted by Katebits Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:18 pm EDT

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    Holy Toledo.
  4. Kvan
    4. Posted by Kvan Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:25 pm EDT

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    Is that Kane's "don't you know who I am" face?
  5. knucklehead
    5. Posted by knucklehead Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:50 pm EDT

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    Norman?!?!.....Coming mother.
  6. Mori
    6. Posted by Mori Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:51 pm EDT

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    Wow! Lame.
  7. Marcus W
    7. Posted by Marcus W Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:57 pm EDT

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    Screw 20 Cent and Ryan Miller. where's JOE PA????
  8. giggs
    8. Posted by giggs Thu Sep 10, 2009 7:59 pm EDT

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    Is it just me or does Ryan Miller look like Charlie Manson on crack?
  9. knucklehead
    9. Posted by knucklehead Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:02 pm EDT

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    http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=22881
    No offense Wyshynski, but I found this column a tad bit more interesting than these stupid pics.
  10. banginpanger.com
    10. Posted by banginpanger.com Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:17 pm EDT

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    Knucklehead just offended all bloggers, let alone one of the best.
    tsk tsk knucklehead
  11. goldoraktabarnak
    11. Posted by goldoraktabarnak Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:24 pm EDT

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    Kane's nickname is 20 cent, and the guy who took those brutal pictures ain't even worth 20 cents. Kane should have beat up that dude instead of the cabbie!
  12. habs1rule
    12. Posted by habs1rule Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:27 pm EDT

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    Put Patrick Kane posing out of a cab window, and it may be more believable, otherwise....No medal or dinner for you!!
  13. barygettman
    13. Posted by barygettman Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:38 pm EDT

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    I'm sorry, but it looks ridiculous, specialy Kane...
    http://www.buckfettman.com
  14. NostraChronus
    14. Posted by NostraChronus Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:44 pm EDT

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    wow, they sure know how to sell the game.
  15. TheTick
    15. Posted by TheTick Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:45 pm EDT

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    Knucklehead, dude, these pics are horrible but it's no reason to link to that moron's site. Or is that your own post you are trying to pimp?
  16. Whoabot
    16. Posted by Whoabot Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:10 pm EDT

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    Look out cabbies, he's got a weapon now.
  17. Bradley B
    17. Posted by Bradley B Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:47 pm EDT

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    There's something about Patrick Kane that makes me want to punch him in the face.
  18. William
    18. Posted by William Thu Sep 10, 2009 9:53 pm EDT

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    It doesn't help that Kane looks like he's 11 years old.
  19. Ryan C
    19. Posted by Ryan C Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:00 pm EDT

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    Bwhahahaha!!! These look like my 3rd grade portraits!
  20. Bubbabanjo
    20. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:00 pm EDT

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    Miller looks more like Charlie Mansons crack........................
  21. Guy F
    21. Posted by Guy F Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:12 pm EDT

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    I'm speechless (which is rare)
    Seriously, WTF???
  22. Bubbabanjo
    22. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:16 pm EDT

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    Is that Doogie Howser or is this Home Alone vs Freddy Kruegar? Ooooooooof what a freakin train wreck. Aint none of you tards ever watched Slapshot? You wanna look tough not douchey. Then again maybe they did. Slapshot 2 and 3 looked like this enema.
  23. habs1rule
    23. Posted by habs1rule Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:25 pm EDT

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    Actually, they should show the other competing teams those pictures..They would be laughing so hard, looking at those adorable yuppie faces trying to look mean, the opposing players would probably die laughing...Caption should read...."Animale Americans..Grrrrrrr!!
  24. El Yuik
    24. Posted by El Yuik Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:26 pm EDT

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    wtf happened to your Heatley post?
  25. lowerNC
    25. Posted by lowerNC Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:31 pm EDT

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    i would have had the girls lick the icicle..........................or 20 cent................either way that would have been funny

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