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You may recall that the Iowa Stars, the Dallas Stars' AHL affiliate, left Des Moines for Austin, TX, and that the Anaheim Ducks moved in to keep minor league hockey in corn country. Yesterday, franchisee Schlegel Sports announced the new name of the AHL team: the Iowa Chops.

"It illustrates Iowa's agricultural heritage while also playing into the definition of 'chops', having nerve, resilience and staying power. The word 'chops' can mean continually defeating someone, and that is the reputation we expect Iowa's new team to gain in the league," said team owner Kirby Schlegel, CEO of Schlegel Sports.

As you can see, the logo is a boar's head. Like the lunch meat. A pig logo is cool if your nickname is the Razorbacks or even the Rockford Ice Hogs, which takes a goofy cartoon approach to its swine. But even if Iowa's logo is passable, the "Iowa Chops" could be the worst nickname in professional hockey; yes, I am taking into account the Syracuse Crunch and the Columbus Blue Jackets, who were named for a fictitious insect before they decided to go all Civil War nostalgia on us.

"The Chops?" Nothing like a team name that evokes a grocery clerk's face from 1906. I never thought another minor league hockey team could make me yearn for the quaint understatement of the Greenville Grrrowl.

Hockey Blog in Canada sliced up the Chops like a Ginzu:

Firstly, the word "chops" does not mean "to have nerve" or "to continually defeat someone". The idiom is "busting one's chops", which means "to scold or insult someone" or "to disappoint or defeat someone". I'm not sure if people in Iowa speak English, but I was under the assumption that they did. Stretching the team name to reach an idiom would be like saying the NBA's Utah Jazz are called as such because they are "all that jazz". It's stupid, and it doesn't work.

How does the team name represent the "vision of the new team"? The word "chops" presents nothing visionary. Unless you're envisioning dinner, the Pork Chops have zero visionary aspects.

The Iowa Chops' official site is running a poll: "What is your favorite part about the new logo?" And the name is third as of Wednesday night. Did any of these marketing geniuses connect the dots between the word "chop" and a bunch of guys skating around with sticks in their hands?

Were their team front office computers able to run what we call here at Yahoo! "search engines?"

I only ask because a rather small segment of the population may believe that Des Moines's new hockey team is called the Iowa Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People.

Especially with the name separated by those little periods in the logo. Just sayin'.

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45 Comments

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  1. Bubbabanjo
    1. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    I like skunks better.
    Wyshynski you stink!
  2. lyle s
    2. Posted by lyle s Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    oh boy wysh...come on man...now your just digging deep.....well,come to think of it... i hope you dug for that information...hhmmmmmm
  3. Bubbabanjo
    3. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    Polecats, Chops, Steers and Gamecocks.
    Man thats a league for Bubbabanjo.
  4. Wrap Around Curl
    4. Posted by Wrap Around Curl Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:49 pm EDT

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    Uhhhh have any of you heard of the Brandon Wheat Kings?
  5. champradio
    5. Posted by champradio Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    art v. - the macon whoopee name is a spin on the 1928 song called "makin' whoopee", popularized in the musical "whoopee!" by eddie cantor. that is one of the best names in all of hockey due to the fact that it's a slang expression for sexual intimacy. the logo was originally just a leaf that said "macon whoopee" on it, similar to the toronto maple leafs' logo.
  6. champradio
    6. Posted by champradio Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:21 pm EDT

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    wrap around curl: the term "wheat kings" is a tribute to the farmers who grew a specific variety of wheat in the brandon area in manitoba. marquis wheat matures very early, thus allowing for better harvests since farmers could collect more wheat earlier in the season and sell it. farmers in the western manitoba area around brandon were called "wheat kings" due to their impressive bounties of wheat in the short growing season of canada.
  7. Jon L
    7. Posted by Jon L Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:40 pm EDT

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    kudos on the "changing homosexuals" link. got a laugh out of that.
  8. Bubbabanjo
    8. Posted by Bubbabanjo Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:05 pm EDT

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    You can change em???? But who'll cut yer hair?
  9. Art Vandelay
    9. Posted by Art Vandelay Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:03 pm EDT

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    haha. Thanks for the info Champradio!
  10. exwhaler
    10. Posted by exwhaler Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:44 pm EDT

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    "the Columbus Blue Jackets, who were named for a fictitious insect before they decided to go all Civil War nostalgia on us. "
    Probably a joke, but you do realize that the "Blue Jackets" were always meant to refer to the Civil War, right? The bug logo was just a lame attempt at trying to translate that name to something marketable.
  11. Wyshynski
    11. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ exwhaler
    Your sarcasm detector is in fact working.
  12. James M
    12. Posted by James M Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    I always wondered if the Blue jackets got their name from Chief Blue Jacket, of the Shawnee. An early war chief, late 17 early 1800's. He was from Ohio.
  13. PNLTBX
    13. Posted by PNLTBX Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:15 pm EDT

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    I just don't know if the Ducks prospects who'll be in Iowa are going to appreciate being "Chops"...
    Although, the team will have a natural rivalry with the Rockford IceHogs.
  14. Wrap Around Curl
    14. Posted by Wrap Around Curl Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:49 pm EDT

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    @champradio: Thanks. But my point is that it is an entirely ridiculous mascot. Such as the Lethbridge Hurricanes. Given it is not really possibly for a hurricane to occur there.
  15. ibsurfer91932
    15. Posted by ibsurfer91932 Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    wow thats pretty bad. and i thought amarillo(CHL i believe) changing their name from rattlers to gorillas was a crappy change
  16. Burt L
    16. Posted by Burt L Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:28 pm EDT

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    All this talk is making me hungry.
    Speaking of AHL animals....what is a "sound tiger"? Do they even really exist?
  17. MatthewW
    17. Posted by MatthewW Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:40 pm EDT

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    We here in Iowa hate it more than anyone else in the country. I can't begin to list how many ways this nickname and logo suck. You are dead right, this would be the worst name in all of minor league sports. Polls were showing that between 65-70 percent of the general public gave it the lowest evaluation, as in they HATED it. I think there maybe hope though. The team's website has now gone offline.
  18. Hockey guy
    18. Posted by Hockey guy Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:13 pm EDT

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    The Jackets were always named for the civil war heritage. It's shallow idoits like you how think is was named for a bug.
  19. The KBBL Party Penguin
    19. Posted by The KBBL Party Penguin Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:04 pm EDT

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    Oh, Minor/Junior League Hockey, how I love your ever continuing quest to have the weirdest name/mascot ever...
    From the Loch Monsters to Jackalopes, Nailers to Boardwalk Bullys, Grrrrowl to Everblades...
    Here are some of my faves from north of the border, south of the Mason Dixon, and Across the Ocean:
    ALIH (Asia League Ice Hockey)
    Nippon Paper Cranes
    Seibu Prince Rabbits (Surpisingly, this is a better choice than their original name - The Kokudo Bunnies - scariest bunny logo in history)
    ECHL
    Jackonsonville Lizard Kings
    Louisville River Frogs
    IHL
    Danbury Trashers (Mob Hockey at it's finest)
    CHL
    Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs
    Odessa Jackalopes
    SPHL (Southern Professional Hockey League)
    Fayetteville FireAntz
    Macon Trax
    EPHL (Eastern Professional Hockey League)
    Danbury Mad Hatters
    QMJHL
    Lewiston MAINEiacs (I think this might be only a slight improvement of the spelling of Maniacs. At least it's must better than the Memphis Maniax of the XFL)
    I wish I could own a low level minor league team. I would make it a point to change name/mascot every season in an attempt to be even more non-sensical than the prior season...
  20. Vladimir L
    20. Posted by Vladimir L Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:49 pm EDT

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    This is the absolute worst idea for a hockey team in this day and age. Did the floods cut Iowa off from the rest of civilization?
    The AHL's West division teams and fans are going to have a field YEAR with this!
  21. Sarah R
    21. Posted by Sarah R Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:04 pm EDT

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    All shall bow before the Columbus Xoggz (defunct) minor league soccer team!
  22. Wyshynski
    22. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ Sarah R --
    Shouldn't that be "KNEEL BEFORE XOGGZ!"
  23. Dan
    23. Posted by Dan Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:35 pm EDT

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    I always thought the Columbus franchise should leverage the famous Ohio Revolutionary War Indian chief - Blue Jacket:
    http://www.shelbycountyhistory.org/schs/indians/bluejacket.htm
  24. Michigander21
    24. Posted by Michigander21 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:35 pm EDT

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    I smell the work of a marketing department that has an inflated self worth and too much input in an organization.
    Could be worse, they could be the "Mighty Ducks". Oh, that is their affiliation? Hmmm, must be sharing marketing departments. And yes I am am aware of their name change to just "Ducks", I just had to throw in the worst name for a hockey team, EVER.
  25. Daniel
    25. Posted by Daniel Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:41 pm EDT

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    OK I usually don't think much of Wyshynski, but he loves NHL '94 and came up with the "Changing Homosexuals" link, so he gets to live when I bring about the apocolypse.
    Unfortunately for the marketing gurus at Iowa's AHL affiliate, they don't. :P

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