If only Marian Hossa's sudden mutation into a playoff performer for the Penguins -- after a career in Ottawa that saw him tally just 34 points in 51 postseason starts -- had been the biggest embarrassment for the Senators in their 4-1 Game 3 loss last night. Alas, the squirmy humiliation started well before the puck was even dropped, thanks to one of the most epic pregame ceremonial failures we've ever seen.

Erin Nicks at The Universal Cynic likens this to a car wreck from which you can't turn away. The subtle difference between the two is that you can actually hear a car crash; however, you can't hear an actor from a dinner-theater production of "Gladiator" if his microphone keeps cutting out:

You'd figure the Sens Army would have better-fitting helmets. Ken Warren of The Ottawa Citizen thought the whole thing came off as "amateur," and that's putting it kindly; there hasn't been an awkward mix of poor performance and silly costuming since The Shockmaster's debut for WCW. Here's hoping the Senators continue down this pregame path for Game 4, with Sens Army guy giving the thumbs down from his chariot while a lion mauls a penguin at center ice. At least that would be a tad more inspiring.