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Fri Nov 14, 2008 1:55 pm EST

Minor League Malarkey: Ugly patriotism and election hangovers

By Sean Leahy

(Ed. Note: "Minor League Malarkey" is a new feature here on Puck Daddy in which we focus on the goofy world of minor league hockey; from the characters to the fights to the promotions to the die-hard fans that half-fill the stands. No, this isn't just an excuse to write more about the Iowa Chops. Necessarily.)

The old marketing adage in minor league sports is that you sell the game, not the players.  That's one of the charms of minor league sports: Watching players move up the ranks in their sport and succeed.

The other charm is the bat-crazy promotions that teams do in order to increase attendance and gain extra media exposure. Bill Veeck, the legendary baseball executive who owned the White Sox during the infamous "Disco Demolition Night" at Chicago's Comiskey Park in 1979, was the godfather of promoting games during his time in baseball.

Hockey has yet to spawn its own Bill Veeck, but I'll be here to bring you the weird, wild, and wacky that are the promotions within minor league hockey.

An alternate jersey worse looking than the Atlanta Thrashers'

To celebrate the Veteran's Day holiday here in the U.S., the Portland Pirates went all patriotic on the American Hockey League, busting out these stars-and-stripes jerseys in a game last Saturday against the Philadelphia Phantoms. I'm all for showing some national pride, but those are some rough uniforms to look at. I look at those jerseys, and can't help but think of "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.

If you're a fan of them, the Pirates are auctioning them off to benefit the Portland Pirates Foundation.

John McCain wishes US elections were settled by bobbleheads

In anticipation of last week's presidential election, the Manchester Monarchs wanted to help the democratic process and hold their own election. Before their game with the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins, the team offered the first 2,000 fans the opportunity to choose between a John McCain or Barack Obama bobblehead doll. In the end, 516 fans decided on McCain while 484 took home the Obama doll. 

No, Wysh was not one of the judges

Wysh's favorite minor league team and hockey mom converged for a local radio promotion looking to find the hottest hockey mom...in Iowa. The Chops and radio station, am1700 The Champ held the contest where the winner would receive VIP tickets to a game, prizes from JT's Slap Shot Hockey Shop, spa treatments, three month gym membership and "a bunch of other stuff."

The winner was announced last Thursday; and if the four finalists are the "hottest" hockey moms in Iowa, please remind me to stick to fawning over Ice Girls.

Related: Hockey Fans, Minor League Malarkey

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28 Comments

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  1. Wilf
    1. Posted by Wilf Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:46 pm EDT

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    "the team offered the first 2,000 fans the opportunity to choose between a John McCain or Barack Obama bobblehead doll. In the end, 516 fans decided on McCain while 484 took home the Obama doll."
    So, they gave 2,000 people a vote but counted only 1,000?
    What, is Katherine Harris the Commish of the AHL?
  2. knucklehead
    2. Posted by knucklehead Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:37 pm EDT

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    That's not funny Wilf, I am not kidding, Katherine is........I can't do it! ugh!
  3. knucklehead
    3. Posted by knucklehead Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:37 pm EDT

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    Malarkey? don't you dare tell Sitting Bull that.....he is very serious.
  4. The Unsilent Majority
    4. Posted by The Unsilent Majority Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:01 pm EDT

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    Wilf, I just assumed that only 1000 people showed up. Or maybe only 1000 really wanted a bobblehead of either candidate.
  5. Ed K
    5. Posted by Ed K Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:21 pm EDT

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    They had four guys play Musical Chairs on the ice in between the first and second periods last week in Rochester. Musical Chairs? Meh. Musical Chairs On Ice? AWESOME.
  6. Josh T
    6. Posted by Josh T Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:43 pm EDT

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    "the team offered the first 2,000 fans the opportunity to choose between a John McCain or Barack Obama bobblehead doll. In the end, 516 fans decided on McCain while 484 took home the Obama doll."
    Maybe they thought they were in Florida and didn't count some of the votes!? Sadly, as in the population as a whole, some people just don't care... I think there should be a law "you don't vote, you can't b*tch"
    As for hot hockey moms... Ms. Palin isn't a bad looking lady, but HOT... ah, no... plus I have heard her speak... oh, that voice... I rather listen to skates being sharpened all day...
  7. Josh T
    7. Posted by Josh T Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:43 pm EDT

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    oh and btw... the minor league team in my hometown... The Jamestown Vikings... often offered free beer between periods... no wonder they went belly up!
  8. wittcap
    8. Posted by wittcap Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:48 pm EDT

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    Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! *swings 2x4*
  9. Michael
    9. Posted by Michael Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:19 pm EDT

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    I dunno, Renee is pretty cute among the Iowa Hockey Moms....
  10. slapshot_77
    10. Posted by slapshot_77 Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:26 pm EDT

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    tonight i'm going to Wheeling to shoot their Pups n Pucks promotion. only in WV would there be a promotion where you bring your dog to the game.
  11. FrmBostn
    11. Posted by FrmBostn Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:03 pm EDT

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    The Ms Icebear in Knoxville is always a big hit with the kids. If not just for the bikini's in a cold rink, the high heels on ice talent portion takes on a special meaning.
  12. Wilf
    12. Posted by Wilf Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:46 pm EDT

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    I'd pay real legal tender money for a Ralph Nader bobblehead.
  13. valorfaerie
    13. Posted by valorfaerie Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:31 pm EDT

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    Those jerseys are just rubbing salt in the Rochester Americans wounds. It's bad enough they're 2-11, let's dress former Amerks in the stars and stripes. Those guys could've worn those colors every game if Cheap-a-lo even cared about 29 years of history and a regional brand.
  14. books
    14. Posted by books Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    The missing 1000 bobble heads were obviously embezzled. Hey it’s what politicians do best.
    As for a legal requirement to vote…in giving the general public the right to vote there is also given the equally important inherent right to not vote at all. In any election when you are given the choice between A and B there is no guarantee that either are an option you would care to support. I liken it to saying to someone “you have two choices…I can either shoot you or stab you”…which would you choose? Personally I don’t think I would be alone to say I would really prefer neither. If someone does have power they can force such an action on me but I’m not going to give them an allusion of support by picking my poison. If this is truly a “democratic” nation don’t you think that we should actually have a NO thanks as a choice? FYI- I live in the land of apathy (also known as Canada) so I do have a few more ‘choices’…however I have deliberately not voted for the last number of elections due to the fact that I have completely lost faith in our government system and have not seen a single individual that would be willing to do anything to address this. Should there be someone worth voting for I definitely would support them. If my vote is worth so much I’d say my casting it into the dirt should speak very loudly…but of course those in power would actually have to listen to hear. Is their really any chance of that happening between votes to increase their own salaries?
  15. Ed K
    15. Posted by Ed K Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:21 pm EDT

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    As a Rochesterian, I agree with valorfaeire to a point. Yes, those jerseys are rubbing salt in the Amerks' wounds, but that mess was more former owner Steve Donner's doing than the Sabres. The idiot owed a ton of people a ton of money and almost killed three or four local teams at once. Donner's shady "business" practices scared the Sabres off - extremely impressive considering that team's owner lives in Rochester - And now the Amerks are affiliated with the hapless Florida Panthers, which explains why the team sucks so badly.
  16. travis chavanne
    16. Posted by travis chavanne Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:20 pm EDT

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    hmmmmm having 2000 free bobbleheads but having some left over, sounds like a bill wirtz like promotion to me
  17. Leahy
    17. Posted by Leahy Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm EDT

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    the missing 1000 bobblehead is a math blunder on my part.
    should be 1016 to 984
  18. Britannia
    18. Posted by Britannia Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:59 pm EDT

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    I know, how about you stop contributing to womens' self esteem issues the hockey watching world over and stick to reporting on sports instead of giving us editorials zingers on what YOU think is attractive?
  19. hockeytown blood
    19. Posted by hockeytown blood Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:23 pm EDT

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    I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the Pirate's jerseys or that more than one person is bidding on them.
  20. fonte_nova
    20. Posted by fonte_nova Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:01 pm EDT

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    No Ron Paul bobble? Shambolic.....
  21. Michael
    21. Posted by Michael Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:18 pm EDT

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    My Grandslam was supposed to come with sausage....
    No one likes Peter Kriss....not even Peter Kriss
  22. Doug F
    22. Posted by Doug F Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:47 pm EDT

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    No Wilf they don't count votes for morons who don't know how to cast a ballot.
  23. Russ Cargill
    23. Posted by Russ Cargill Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:35 pm EDT

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    Note to self: Don't go looking for milfs in Iowa.
  24. kevin s
    24. Posted by kevin s Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:50 pm EDT

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    Houston aeros hockey,be a fan!!!!!!!!
  25. valorfaerie
    25. Posted by valorfaerie Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:31 pm EDT

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    Also true, Ed K. It was just a big ole clusterf@*#% on both sides. Barfalo had started to back out a few years ago. Golisano never really did anything to help the Amerks and the Sabres didn't want to stock a full team. I have yet to go to an Amerks game this year though, just for sheer morbid curiousity, I do want to see just how bad these Florida kids are. I was so mad when Barfalo signed Darche for Portland, that's something in the past 3 years they refused to do for Rochester. Last season was bad and this one is looking to be worse, a once proud franchise punched in the stomach and having sand kicked in it's face. They're still my Amerks though.

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