Mon Apr 21 03:56pm EDT
As you may know, the NHL has a collection of celebrity (of varying degrees) hockey fans blogging about the postseason. One of them is Jersey-born director Kevin Smith ("Clerks," "Dogma"), who had been blogging about the Devils. Seeing as how their postseason ended as quickly as a Nigel Dawes shot through Brodeur's five-hole, this latest entry could be the end of Silent Bob's foray into the hockey blogosphere. If it is, Smith went out with a bang ... by requesting some of his female readers go without one for a while:
Many a Rangers fan will dismissively refer to the Devils as "the Debbies", even going so far as calling Marty Brodeur "Martha." This casual misogyny should concern every lady who loves a Blueshirt-lover - as what's really being said is this: in an effort to diminish a team they despise, some Rangers' fans' idea of an insult is to call the Devils women. It's as if the worst slander they can imagine is equating the black and red with the distaff.
Ladies, I don't know about you, but I (and every Devils fan) find that notion repugnant beyond words... and worthy of reprisal. Might I suggest withholding sex? In an effort to curb this rampant hate-speech, I'd say you could threaten your men with no coitus ‘til the Rangers take home another Stanley Cup, but we don't want a "Children of Men" thing going on in Manhattan; no nookie ‘til next season should suffice.
And should the nookie-strike prove too taxing and you find yourself pining for the touch of men - real men, who respect women - pop on over to Jersey. There are a bunch of guys just a few miles away who won't be plastered to their televisions for the next week and I'll be more than happy to show a playoff-widow a great time.
Here's hoping the League finds a way to keep Kevin involved for the rest of the postseason. I just don't see A.J. Buckley giving fans this kind of effort; mainly because, like my boys on The Pensblog, I'm not exactly sure who the hell A.J. Buckley is. Well, other than "Gate Guard" in "Timecop: The Berlin Decision."