Tue Mar 24 10:13am EDT
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
For a while, the NBA had a fashion trend targeting women that features full-length jersey dresses, like this Jason Kidd frock from his Nets days. Depending on the right hip-hop club (and on the right frame), we're sure this was quite the fetching fashion statement. Otherwise, it looks like casual wear from a basketball-themed mental health facility.
Well, Puck Buddy Tina sent over this image of NHL formal wear. Or it's a flag from some obscure African nation. One of the two. It's not a traditional Jersey Foul, but it is a rather odd hockey fashion faux pas. Tina explains:
My friend goes to school in Miami and snapped this photo a few days ago. It's hilarious. A Florida Panthers...dress!? In ... Miami, a hotbed of fashion?!
It's a hell of a thing. But honestly, fellas: If you were at prom or a reunion or some function that involves a punch bowl and a dance floor, and you spot a woman wearing the couture version of NHL fan gear ... you're not biting the hook?
Coming up: Correcting Boston Bruins history, a Carolina jersey that blows, a Canadiens fans disrespects the Rocket, Potvin still sucks and the incredible return of the McLovin sweater.
There's a difference between the established non-Foul of the "Protest Jersey" and just being a cheap bastard. Brian Rolston played parts of five years with the Boston Bruins, and was a 30-goal scorer in one of them. There's really no reason to disrespect his sweater; and this is actually a double-diss, in the sense that Bruins fan is saying, "I like you Chuck Kobasew, but I don't price-of-a-new-personalized-jersey like you."
Thanks to Mike, who writes: "I don't think a [expletive] economy is excuse enough to do this for a third line winger. Especially over a guy like Rolston." Word.
"Just ridiculous to do the 09 on the Richard jersey, brutality to the max sir. Especially as he didn't even ever have a name on his jersey to begin with. Stupid Habs fans."
Well, that about said it. Of course, there's always the off chance that the dude's name is Richard and this is his '09 jersey for the centennial season. But that's only a slightly less palatable type of FAIL.
A Carolina Hurricanes fans with "Category 5" on the back. This comes close to triggering the Ingenuity Clause that allows the approval of otherwise egregious fouls due to sheer genius.
Of course, the next time the Outer Banks get macked by a C-5 is probably the last time this dude is wearing the sweater.
Bottom line: Frantisek Kaberle isn't hauling ass every night to have some guy change his name to "Category."
Thanks to reader Joseph for the image.
We suppose the lettering on the back of this jersey is intended to mirror the front of the New York Rangers' traditional sweater. We also suspect this could be a case of one man, 11 letters and a hot iron going to town on a replica jersey.
Nearly 83 years of history, and this is the jersey you rock in the arena. And Potvin's the one that sucks?
Seriously, though: If this guy created the sweater by ripping apart and stealing the letters from his old Alexander Karpovtsev and Martin Rucinsky jerseys -- PASS.
Thanks to NYR 153 for ratting out one of his own.
Not so fast, Devils fans. It's easy: If you're going to go with the Lucifer motif, just wear No. 6. The triple digit in the back is a FAIL.
(Thanks to Puck Buddy Jay, both for this horrendous jersey and for a bit of Jersey Transit car nostalgia.)
Finally, when it comes to crap we thought we'd never see, it pretty much boils down to three things: A St. Louis Blues Stanley Cup championship, the cast of "Gossip Girl" on the cover of Rolling Stone and another "McLovin 69" jersey besides the one in the upper deck of the Verizon Center.
We've now seen two of the three in the last week. Joe M. sends over this Edmonton Oilers "McLovin" Jersey Foul. Was he inspired by the DC one? Did this happen independently? Is there ... gulp ... a silent army of McLovin jerseys all around the NHL, waiting for their chance to rise up and, in one voice, cry out "I AM MCLOVIN!"?
We need a clone army of Jonah Hills, stat.