Fri Feb 12 09:40am EST
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
What you don't see very often: Complete sentences on the backs of hockey sweaters. From Puck Buddy Gabriel T.:
Spotted these two young ladies at the Minnesota Wild vs. Langenbrunner game. Are the numbers of any significance? Does it even matter? Is it really lame? I suspect I know the answer to the last question.
So do we. As for the digits, No. 51 is James Shappard, a player with four career NHL fights since 2006, so perhaps this is a plea of some kind for more truculence. No. 6 is now Greg Zanon(notes), and before that was Sean Hill(notes), Eric Reitz and Zbynek Michalek(notes); did an official besmirch the good names of any of these gentlemen, resulting in a protest jersey? Or are the numbers are just their favorite players, and they wanted to put goofy little hockey lingo on the backs of their sweaters?
We're sure these are isolated cases; it's not like there's a bunch of fans walking around the arena with "Shoot The Puck" or "Hits The Pass" or something dumb like "Fiveholer" on their jer...
Oh dear. (Thanks, Sam B.)
Coming up, some advanced grad-student level education about what is or is not a Jersey Foul; people who name themselves captain; cash money Oilers; announcer Fouls; god comes to Calgary; a Tim Thomas(notes) Foul that makes our faces hurt; and an Olympic Jersey Foul.
And here ... we ... go.
In honor of the Winter Games, a Foul of Olympic proportions. Jeremy B. explains:
I've been attending Panthers' games for 5 years (as a former CT resident and Whalers fan I embrace the pain) and the character in this photo has been a fixture for the last two. The jersey doesn't need much explanation - it's a replica 1980 US Olympic sweater with #80 and "Panthers" on the nameplate. Does this man (a) hate America and is bringing down arguably the country's most cherished sports memories? or (b) improve the Panther name by slapping it on the back of a team's jersey that has won something in the last 30 years?
Jeremy, it's a little of both, but mostly the first one. Our only hope is that Zombie Herb Brooks comes to Florida and makes this guy do wind sprints until he's lighting his jersey on fire to make the pain subside.
Puck Buddy Patrick M. sends in this Foul and asks:
I spotted this twin-jersey foul at the Oilers/Flames game. I'm not quite sure what to make of it - what could be both Canadian AND $8 dollars at the same time?
Glad you asked, sir. Through the glory of Yahoo! Answers, we discover that $8 Canadian can get you "about 10 litres of gas" or a "20 second lap dance." Decisions, decisions.
(UPDATE: Some readers have commented and tweeted us that it's $8 for a pint of Molson Canadian at Rexall Place in Edmonton. Thanks for clearing that up. Still a foul.)
For the record, does anyone have a clue what these jerseys are inspired by?
Putting the section number where you sit for games is a Jersey Foul standard, especially in the upper deck in New Jersey. We're guessing this Atlanta Thrashes Foul sent in by Jon R. is in that tradition, but who knows? Perhaps his jersey doesn't have the updated font list in order to properly display a player's name and number ...
Puck Buddies Sean and Matt F. witnessed this Foul when the Habs were visiting the Canes at the RBC Center, and "figured the foul isn't so much putting his own name on there as much as electing himself Captain that did it" for them.
We agree. It's one kind of Foul to walk around with your name on the sweater. Electing yourself captain is like cutting out your high school yearbook photo, pasting on another page and telling everyone you were Homecoming King.
From the Book of Exodus:
"You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name."
Thanks to Matt W.
Once in a while, we get Fouls that people are convinced are valid when they're not. Case and point: This Bobby Orr Boston Bruins Winter Classic sweater. From Timothy E.:
I spotted this obvious jersey foul at a recent game for the local minor league team, the Knoxville Ice Bears. When I first saw the guy, I thought "Oh cool, a Winter Classic Jersey." Then when I saw the "Orr" on the back I groaned inwardly at the obvious foul, since Orr clearly never wore the 09-10 Winter Classic jersey. My brother later went and (very insincerely) congratulated the guy on his jersey and asked if he could take pictures of it. The guy revealed that he had bought the jersey from some place in China, which isn't hard to fathom. You can't quite tell from the picture, but the Orr on the back is actually slanted in relation to the number.
Shoddy work aside, this is a PASS. Orr did in fact wear the Winter Classic sweater during the event, and we feel that makes the world safe to purchase and own one. Though maybe not from a sweatshop.
This is from Puck Buddy Chad in Tampa:
I enjoy reading everything Puck Daddy, and I finally found a way to contribute. I hope my Lightning knowledge isn't making me look stupid, as I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a hockey player with the last name Beers in recent memory. I saw this tonight at the Capitals-Lightning game. I'm a season ticket holder, as well, so I hope I will be able to contribute in the future.
In which 86 percent of our readership says, in unison: Bob Beers.
No biggie, as the dude only played 80 games for the Bolts. But, for the record, the gloriously named Mr. Beers was in fact No. 2 in your program.
This is an awesome Protest Jersey from a still-bitter Devils fan regarding former No. 27 Scott Niedermayer's(notes) departure. Rob Niedermayer(notes) is, in fact, No. 21 on the team this season. Thanks to C.M. for the image, and apologies for having to black out the one-finger salute on the side.
From Nick D. comes this Tim Thomas Foul. Haven't we seen this sort of jersey before, maybe with Alex Ovechkin(notes)? Is this an eBay business that's beginning to spread its garish awfulness around the League or something.
Make it stop. Unless some Bruins fan wants to have the Chara Body Issue image on the back of their sweater.
From Puck Buddy William L.:
As a Sharks fan, I love Randy Hahn, Drew Remenda, and Dan Rusanowsky on the radio as much as anyone, but this is a little extreme. If there was more room, I'm sure he would've put Jamie Baker on there, too.
Ironically, Jamie Baker would be the only one that actually deserved to be there.
Announcer jerseys ... seriously, just put your money in a blender and drink it. Same difference.