Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
While we practice lazy polytheism here at PD (having worshiped such deities as Milan Lucic, video game Jeremy Roenick and Paulina Gretzky in the past), we would never begrudge the basic human right to profess one's faith in a public manner. So calling this one a Foul is a tough call, because
we're quite intimidated by eternal damnation for our sinful snark faith could supersede such triviality.
Hey, if you can put J.C.'s name on the bumper sticker of a mini-van, why not a hockey jersey?
Form a puck perspective, the Chicago Blackhawks No. 1 Jesus Christ jersey is an intriguing one. Is our magnificently coiffed friend telling us that Jesus is the tops, or that he believes Glenn Hall is a hockey god? Did J.C. fan simply not get the memo that Martin Havlat is now lord and savior?
If your friend has a Jesus Christ hockey jersey, are you obliged to get "Apostles 12"?
Whatever the case, let's hope Dan Brown never sees this, or else we're going to have Tom Hanks running around the United Center looking for ancient codes in about three years.
Thanks to Puck Buddy Tolga E. for the photo. Coming up, another Los Angeles Kings Frankenjersey, some sweater disrespect for Nicklas Lidstrom and Joe Pavelski, bad numbers in Washington and a question that really needs answering: Is it OK to commemorate your first playoff season with a Jersey Foul?
And here ... we ... go.
"Frolitar." OK, so it sounds better than "Kopitov."
In true LA name-combining fashion (i.e. Brangelina), this guy married his two favorite Kings into "Frolitar." Hmm. It's no Duffrie, but it's close. He even thought to add the two players numbers together to get "35". I can just see this guy at bars, "Heh, I added their numbers together, heh. Pretty sweet huh?"
Uh, yeah. This is a bit like walking into that Starbucks over there with a Burger King Whopper, having the barista pour a caramel latte on it, and then calling it a "Whoppatte." In other words: Ruining two good things.
We've never hoped harder that Frolov would get traded this summer.
As you can see from this image of a Washington Capitals fans, the multi-player alternatives aren't all that better. The "Young Guns" have been indentified in Capitals marketing materials as Alexander Ovechkin (8), Alexander Semin (28), Mike Green (52) and Nicklas Backstrom (19).
In comparison to the Frankenjersey, maybe this gets a pass. In comparison to the will of the hockey gods not to besmirch the sweater, probably not.
Thanks to Puck Buddy Scott for the image. And now all we want are some Boardwalk Fries.
Staying in D.C., Cathy B. sends in this photo of a Capitals jersey that had her puzzled:
This gentleman was sitting a few rows in front of me at the Rangers-Capitals game on Saturday, and the first thing I thought was, 'Why put Eli Manning on a Caps jersey, and why with Gretzky's number?' Then I thought maybe the wearer's last name was Manning, but that really didn't make it any better as far as I'm concerned.
Agreed. There's a reason why no player in the NHL can rock the No. 99. And it's so there isn't some random dude named Manning wearing it.
OK, this one is a head-scratcher. Maybe we're getting soft in our old age, or maybe our hearts just go out to those poor knuckleheads in Columbus after the sweep, but is commemorating the first season your team made the playoffs a Foul?
Jenny D. found the photo above via the Detroit Free Press, and this Columbus Blue Jackets fan has us a little stumped. On the one hand, this is as bad as those "Stanley Cup 95" jerseys one out of every five Devils fans has in Newark. On the other hand, the Blue Jackets made the playoffs and this guy had a jersey made because it finally happened; which is, like baby kitten cute in a way, isn't it?
Uh, either the other five on this Niklas Kronwall jersey fell off, or someone has dramatically misspelled the name of Detroit Red Wings future Hall of Famer Nicklas "No. 5 will hang from the rafters the day after I retire" Lidstrom. Thanks to Bridget for the image.
(UPDATE: From reader The Lion King in the comments: "He wore #5 when playing for the Grand Rapids Griffins, the AHL affiliate of the Red Wings. The Griffs have an alternate jersey that looks the same except for a griffin logo on the front. From the back, you wouldn't be able to tell.) Point taken, your lioness.
There's really only one concern about this San Jose Sharks "Pawelski" Foul: If it's not an egregious misspelling, then there's a chance this guy is a dog lover; in which case the other side of the jersey might feature an anime Golden Retriever with a stick breaking in its mouth and a fin on its head where the Shark should be.
Please oh please be an egregious misspelling. Thanks to Maria for the image.
UPDATE: From Puck Buddy Ike comes Joe Pavelski on Joe Pawelski. See question nine.
Finally ... subtle, Phoenix Coyotes fan. Very subtle. Good luck finding that lucky girl with the "Hey Me Too 69" sweater.
Thanks to Ryan N. for the image; hopefully, this fan will rock the '69'er' when visiting his team in suburban Toronto in two years.