Puck Daddy - NHL

Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in future installments.

The doors at Wachovia Center are evidently large enough to accommodate the Philadelphia Phillies bandwagon, as Puck Buddy Melissa L. sent over this multi-sport Frankenjersey (OK, Franken-T-Shirt ... we think) Foul from a Philadelphia Flyers game on Oct. 8.

On the left is Cole Hamels, lefty for the Phillies; on the right is former Flyers forward R.J. Umberger(notes), now with the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Put'em together and you've got "Hamberger 3520," which only sounds like a German emo band.

So who got stuck wearing the "Umels" shirt?

Meanwhile, the disgruntled Washington Redskins fan behind the blog Fleur De Los decided to honor the best athlete in D.C. on a burgundy and gold jersey:

It's hard to root for a team when you all-but know that there will be a completely different group of players and coaches in place the next season - and we're not even half way through the current one.

Well, with my Portis jersey (which I proudly purchased a T.J. Maxx for the grand total of $20) collecting dust, I finally decided to pull the proverbial trigger and get me a jersey that I not only can be proud of, but will be relevant and last me for at least another decade (thanks, Ted Leonsis).

Total Foul, no?

Does a hockey player have any right to be featured on another sport's jersey? Or vice versa? Put it this way: Would you measure the amount of bile produced by the sight of an "Owens 81" Buffalo Sabres jersey in liters or gallons?

(Coming Up: Penguins Cup Foul; Blue Jackets sex; Battle of the Hudson goofs; an overloaded Flames fan; disrespecting Gretzky; Dany Heatley(notes) protest jersey; and a "South Park" reference gone horribly wrong.)

And here ... we ... go.

Say, did you hear the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup? In 08-09? From Puck Buddy Bryan S.:

Caught this atrocious act against a sweater at the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA, last night, while watching the baby Pens lose to the Bridgeport Sound Tigers (with great pleasure, I might add). Thought I'd pass it on. It's on a regular, NHL Pens jersey (there tend to be a lot of those when the farm team's name is the same as the big club).

Don't spring for the official lettering and numbers or anything. Gotta leave something in the wallet for primo NHL seats.

Something tells us this is the kind of dude that has 10,000 stickers on the rear window of his car, including one for Starfleet Academy. From Justin in Calgary:

An obvious foul for obvious reasons. I took this thinking who puts 2 NICKNAMES and numbers on a jersey? And took the picture. Upon closer inspection I realized this jersey also says "neuf & bouw" at the bottom, which brought a tear of laughter to my eye. All this fouldom without even mentioning the red moo-moo beside the aforementioned fouler. Wow.

As an eyewitness, we must trust Justin that it was, in fact, a muumuu. Our first guess was a fancy cape of some kind, with the entire uniform history of the Calgary Flames franchise and their nicknames printed inside of it.

Puck Buddy Scott C. recently spotted this at a Columbus Blue Jackets game. There have been four players to wear No. 33 for the BeeJays: Petteri Nummelin(notes), Jamie Allison, Jeremy Reich(notes) and Fredrik Modin(notes). Does this nickname apply to any of them?

(Admittedly, "Sex" Modin has a ring to it.)

Of course, it is possible that he's commemorating the age at which he first rounded the bases, if you smell what the Rock is cookin’.

This strikes us as a New Jersey Devils fan that wanted to honor franchise overlord Lou Lamoriello on his jersey, but didn't think "No. 1" would attract nearly enough attention. So he went with the dollar sign and, as we've said in the past, shame on the apparel companies for encouraging this behavior by offering giant stitched dollar signs.

Total Foul, partially redeemed by the juxtaposition between this celebration of financial acumen and his rugged frontiersman hat.

Our old pal Ted Starkey sent in this Martin Brodeur(notes) Foul. How exactly does this happen? There are only 10,000 correct jerseys in the arena on a given night for comparison's sake. Are his friends all too timid to tell him he's wearing a production error? Is he too cheap to rectify the situation; or worse, did he purchase it on the cheap because it's spelled "Broduer"?

In any case, this is the sort of thing that makes New York Rangers fans point and laugh ...

... at least the ones not wearing Brian Leatch jerseys. (Thanks to NYR34 for this one.)

Once in a while, we get Fouls submitted that look pedestrian at first glance and then become epic upon explanation. So take it away, Puck Buddy John McC.:

I win this week's Jersey Fouls, hands down.  I went to the home opener for the ECHL's Las Vegas Wranglers, and this dude was sitting a couple of rows in front of me.  I'm impressed by the number of jersey fouls he committed in one go. 

The first, I can concede - this was a minor league game, and I can see people wearing NHL sweaters all over - I wore my Giguere Ducks sweater, and I saw at least half of the NHL there.  Even a Preds sweater.  So the Kings part, I'll give the guy a pass on. 

Problem is, it's a number 99.  Without Gretzky's name.  AND it's a new-style Kings sweater. 

Not pictured, the dude even had the C on the front.  Seriously, man?  SEROUSLY?  Epic fail.

You know, there's a reason all 30 teams have No. 99 retired. It's to keep it off of guys named Keller.

The folks at SENS Town have picked up the Jerseys Fouls baton for their own series, and passed along this Dany Heatley Ottawa Senators Protest Jersey.

Wicked. Bitter. Lo-Fi. It's a PASS, for sure. And when Heatley and the Senators finally make peace one day, you just move the tape to have it read "HEAL."

What the hell is this about? Puck Buddy Rachel M. explains:

It's from the Canes/Panthers game on 10/9.  It says Time Warner with 14 as the number.  I'm assuming Time Warner refers to Time Warner Cable who is a sponsor of the team, albeit not a primary one.  As far as the number goes, 14 is a local news channel which is the only meaning I can attach to it, unless they are suggesting Sergei Samsonov(notes) should start a TV career post-retirement.  Even if the person works for Time Warner, why would you ever spend that kind of money to put it on a perfectly good jersey? I have to think this is a foul just because it's so weird. 

Weird's one way of putting it. Let's just hope this fan didn't bump into someone with an AOL jersey. Bad times.

Speaking of which, and finally...

Al Gore: "Manbearpig is in New Jersey and we all have to kill him while we all have the chance. I'm cereal you guys! We need to fill the Prudential Center with hot, molten lead, 'cause it's the only way to make sure Manbearpig never comes out. Manbearpig leaves no one alive! I'm super cereal!"

From Mark P.:

This was the 1st jersey I saw at the Rock this year. Followed him up the elevator right at the entrance. I'm not sure of the significance of the number.

It's actually the number of outdated pop culture references he's used on jerseys before settling on Manbearpig for this season. There's a Christmas tree jersey with "Whatchu Talkin' About Willis?" somewhere in his closet.

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77 Comments

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  1. james bond
    1. Posted by james bond Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:54 am EDT

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    i can never get enough of these! Nice work.
  2. AgentUtah
    2. Posted by AgentUtah Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:55 am EDT

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    Ok, so the "Time Warner" jersey is semi-explained, but what is actually going on in the picture? It looks like the blond is being bitten by a vampire while the crowd merely watches.
  3. Izzy
    3. Posted by Izzy Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:56 am EDT

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    Time Warner one is kind of a pass...I'm pretty sure this was a company giveaway. i have a friend with a Kings Jersey that says the name of some crazy japanese company where the name goes. the company gave them out to anyone sitting in their suite that night.
  4. Hans Gruber
    4. Posted by Hans Gruber Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:57 am EDT

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    Ok, what the hell is going on in that Hurricanes photo? And Mr. Keller is so fat, just throw him some doughnuts and let him be.
  5. Jerk Store
    5. Posted by Jerk Store Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:58 am EDT

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    pass on the heatley one b/c bitter fans deserve an outlet for their rage at spending good money on jerseys of selfish players
    kinda pass on the iggy-n-kipper jersey b/c c'mon, they're old. they're probably senile, and thats nothing to laugh at. plus iggy n kipper sounds like a cool band name. or ice cream store. or something.
    kinda pass on the sex modin jersey b/c at least it wasnt a sex 69 jersey. but still he deserves a beatdown
    fail on all else.
  6. yerry.take
    6. Posted by yerry.take Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:00 am EDT

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    He's half bear, half man, and half pig!
  7. knucklehead
    7. Posted by knucklehead Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:03 am EDT

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    Pass the Hamberger. Funny.
  8. SPaRTiGaS
    8. Posted by SPaRTiGaS Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:03 am EDT

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    @ 3... hahahaha
  9. Paul91
    9. Posted by Paul91 Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:03 am EDT

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    I'm going to have to give "Manbearpig" a pass, and I'm cereal about it, you guys!!!
  10. brodeurman89
    10. Posted by brodeurman89 Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:05 am EDT

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    manbearpig: pass
    Broduer : FAIL
    Hamberger: Funny, but fail
  11. Voytek
    11. Posted by Voytek Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:07 am EDT

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    Pass on "HATE" Heatley.
    The rest?........Yikes.
  12. Windy City Hockey
    12. Posted by Windy City Hockey Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:10 am EDT

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    Great, now every time I hear Fredrik Modin's name, I'm gonna think about sex. Like I really needed that.
  13. Chemmy
    13. Posted by Chemmy Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:13 am EDT

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    Saw a Devils sweater #07 with "MARTINI" on the back last night while driving to the Prudential Center. Couldn't get a good pic.
  14. Mazarin
    14. Posted by Mazarin Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:19 am EDT

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    Hamberger is a pass ONLY because it's a t-shirt.
  15. Pam C
    15. Posted by Pam C Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:23 am EDT

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    33 is the buttsex number! Obviously that guy is gay.
  16. Tacks
    16. Posted by Tacks Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:24 am EDT

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    If anyone is an expert in hambergers it's probably that woman.
  17. TheOtherBootyBrother
    17. Posted by TheOtherBootyBrother Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:32 am EDT

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    For some reason I'm feeling charitable this week and am tempted to pass Hamberger, Iggy n Kipper (a great name for a Nick Jr show), HATE and Time Warner.
    Manbearpig would have been a pass last season.
    And Sex and Keller are funny...not a pass, but funny.
  18. habs1rule
    18. Posted by habs1rule Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:32 am EDT

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    Love the Heatley jersey, and you can also block out a few letters and spell. "He Ate" Draw your own conclusions later
  19. TheOtherBootyBrother
    19. Posted by TheOtherBootyBrother Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:32 am EDT

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    For some reason I'm feeling charitable this week and am tempted to pass Hamberger, Iggy n Kipper (a great name for a Nick Jr show), HATE and Time Warner.
    Manbearpig would have been a pass last season.
    And Sex and Keller are funny...not a pass, but funny.
  20. Sara
    20. Posted by Sara Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:36 am EDT

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    If "manbearpig" had put #30 on the back of his jersey instead of #29, he could have had a unique Brodeur tribute jersey.
  21. G
    21. Posted by G Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:37 am EDT

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    Honestly, I think we have to give the Ovie Skins jersey a pass. Redskins fans haven't had much of anything to cheer for this year. I'm a Giants fan and I have actually felt bad for the Redskins. You know you have a bad situation when your rivals fans feel bad for your misfortune.
    PLUS, Ovie under center prolly looks pretty good right now compared to Jason Campbell or Todd Collins. Although form an athletic perspective AO might be a pretty unstoppable Tight End.
    Somthing to ponder for Dan Snyder. How much WOULD it cost to pull Ovechkin out of that long term deal and into the NFL? Then again Ovie's celebrations might hurt more in the long run in the No Fun League.
  22. Fin-atic
    22. Posted by Fin-atic Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:37 am EDT

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    The Calgary guy should be taken out back and filled full of lead. This was a friend fail by the way, not a jersey fail. Friends don't let friends wear crap.
  23. Benjamin
    23. Posted by Benjamin Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:38 am EDT

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    LOVE the manbearpig reference. South Park isn't dated; it's timeless.
  24. Todd
    24. Posted by Todd Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:40 am EDT

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    Any one else think that Tyler Kennedy should be wearing the last jersey?
  25. Jeff W
    25. Posted by Jeff W Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:45 am EDT

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    Dibs on the Ovechkin/Avery frankenjersey!!!

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