October 29, 2009
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, e-mail a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installments.
The doors at Wachovia Center are evidently large enough to accommodate the Philadelphia Phillies bandwagon, as Puck Buddy Melissa L. sent over this multi-sport Frankenjersey (OK, Franken-T-Shirt ... we think) Foul from a Philadelphia Flyers game on Oct. 8.
Put'em together and you've got "Hamberger 3520," which only sounds like a German emo band.
So who got stuck wearing the "Umels" shirt?
Meanwhile, the disgruntled Washington Redskins fan behind the blog Fleur De Los decided to honor the best athlete in D.C. on a burgundy and gold jersey:
It's hard to root for a team when you all-but know that there will be a completely different group of players and coaches in place the next season - and we're not even half way through the current one.
Well, with my Portis jersey (which I proudly purchased a T.J. Maxx for the grand total of $20) collecting dust, I finally decided to pull the proverbial trigger and get me a jersey that I not only can be proud of, but will be relevant and last me for at least another decade (thanks, Ted Leonsis).
Total Foul, no?
Does a hockey player have any right to be featured on another sport's jersey? Or vice versa? Put it this way: Would you measure the amount of bile produced by the sight of an "Owens 81" Buffalo Sabres jersey in liters or gallons?
(Coming Up: Penguins Cup Foul; Blue Jackets sex; Battle of the Hudson goofs; an overloaded Flames fan; disrespecting Gretzky; Dany Heatley(notes) protest jersey; and a "South Park" reference gone horribly wrong.)
And here ... we ... go.
Say, did you hear the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup? In 08-09? From Puck Buddy Bryan S.:
Caught this atrocious act against a sweater at the Wachovia Arena in Wilkes-Barre, PA, last night, while watching the baby Pens lose to the Bridgeport Sound Tigers (with great pleasure, I might add). Thought I'd pass it on. It's on a regular, NHL Pens jersey (there tend to be a lot of those when the farm team's name is the same as the big club).
Don't spring for the official lettering and numbers or anything. Gotta leave something in the wallet for primo NHL seats.
Something tells us this is the kind of dude that has 10,000 stickers on the rear window of his car, including one for Starfleet Academy. From Justin in Calgary:
An obvious foul for obvious reasons. I took this thinking who puts 2 NICKNAMES and numbers on a jersey? And took the picture. Upon closer inspection I realized this jersey also says "neuf & bouw" at the bottom, which brought a tear of laughter to my eye. All this fouldom without even mentioning the red moo-moo beside the aforementioned fouler. Wow.
As an eyewitness, we must trust Justin that it was, in fact, a muumuu. Our first guess was a fancy cape of some kind, with the entire uniform history of the Calgary Flames franchise and their nicknames printed inside of it.
Puck Buddy Scott C. recently spotted this at a Columbus Blue Jackets game. There have been four players to wear No. 33 for the BeeJays: Petteri Nummelin(notes), Jamie Allison, Jeremy Reich(notes) and Fredrik Modin(notes). Does this nickname apply to any of them?
(Admittedly, "Sex" Modin has a ring to it.)
Of course, it is possible that he's commemorating the age at which he first rounded the bases, if you smell what the Rock is cookin’.
This strikes us as a New Jersey Devils fan that wanted to honor franchise overlord Lou Lamoriello on his jersey, but didn't think "No. 1" would attract nearly enough attention. So he went with the dollar sign and, as we've said in the past, shame on the apparel companies for encouraging this behavior by offering giant stitched dollar signs.
Total Foul, partially redeemed by the juxtaposition between this celebration of financial acumen and his rugged frontiersman hat.
Our old pal Ted Starkey sent in this Martin Brodeur(notes) Foul. How exactly does this happen? There are only 10,000 correct jerseys in the arena on a given night for comparison's sake. Are his friends all too timid to tell him he's wearing a production error? Is he too cheap to rectify the situation; or worse, did he purchase it on the cheap because it's spelled "Broduer"?
In any case, this is the sort of thing that makes New York Rangers fans point and laugh ...
... at least the ones not wearing Brian Leatch jerseys. (Thanks to NYR34 for this one.)
Once in a while, we get Fouls submitted that look pedestrian at first glance and then become epic upon explanation. So take it away, Puck Buddy John McC.:
I win this week's Jersey Fouls, hands down. I went to the home opener for the ECHL's Las Vegas Wranglers, and this dude was sitting a couple of rows in front of me. I'm impressed by the number of jersey fouls he committed in one go.
The first, I can concede - this was a minor league game, and I can see people wearing NHL sweaters all over - I wore my Giguere Ducks sweater, and I saw at least half of the NHL there. Even a Preds sweater. So the Kings part, I'll give the guy a pass on.
Problem is, it's a number 99. Without Gretzky's name. AND it's a new-style Kings sweater.
Not pictured, the dude even had the C on the front. Seriously, man? SEROUSLY? Epic fail.
You know, there's a reason all 30 teams have No. 99 retired. It's to keep it off of guys named Keller.
Wicked. Bitter. Lo-Fi. It's a PASS, for sure. And when Heatley and the Senators finally make peace one day, you just move the tape to have it read "HEAL."
What the hell is this about? Puck Buddy Rachel M. explains:
It's from the Canes/Panthers game on 10/9. It says Time Warner with 14 as the number. I'm assuming Time Warner refers to Time Warner Cable who is a sponsor of the team, albeit not a primary one. As far as the number goes, 14 is a local news channel which is the only meaning I can attach to it, unless they are suggesting Sergei Samsonov(notes) should start a TV career post-retirement. Even if the person works for Time Warner, why would you ever spend that kind of money to put it on a perfectly good jersey? I have to think this is a foul just because it's so weird.
Weird's one way of putting it. Let's just hope this fan didn't bump into someone with an AOL jersey. Bad times.
Speaking of which, and finally...
Al Gore: "Manbearpig is in New Jersey and we all have to kill him while we all have the chance. I'm cereal you guys! We need to fill the Prudential Center with hot, molten lead, 'cause it's the only way to make sure Manbearpig never comes out. Manbearpig leaves no one alive! I'm super cereal!"
From Mark P.:
This was the 1st jersey I saw at the Rock this year. Followed him up the elevator right at the entrance. I'm not sure of the significance of the number.
It's actually the number of outdated pop culture references he's used on jerseys before settling on Manbearpig for this season. There's a Christmas tree jersey with "Whatchu Talkin' About Willis?" somewhere in his closet.