Wed Jul 08 01:30pm EDT
Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at email@example.com for inclusion in future installments.
Here at Puck Daddy, we tend to rely on our keen insight and rapier wit (as Ron MacLean of HNIC called it) to keep puckheads coming back every day. But occasionally, we must traffic in the same kind of lascivious images that drive so much traffic to blogs -- those of scantily clad beauties in unusual locales.
Eventually, we'll post one of those images of scantily clad beauties in unusual locales. Meanwhile, here's some dude in an ill-fitting Detroit Red Wings jersey at a rink bar. From Puck Buddy Jen C.:
Don't know if you're still doing jersey fouls, but thought I'd send these along. They were taken during Game 7 at a rink in Houston, Texas. Not only is the jersey itself a foul, its wearer seems to have outgrown it about 15 years earlier, at age 10.
Jen is correct that this is a basic Foul in every sense, but there's a greater issue at play here: The Tiny Sweater Syndrome.
We all have articles of clothing that no longer fit as well as they used to, and some tough decisions have to be made. Trash them? Hand them down? Donate them? Lose the weight? Here's another option: Don't wear a No. 99 Hamblet Red Wings jersey, especially when the sleeves basically end at your elbow.
And don't expose the male midriff while wearing a hockey jersey. Ever.
(COMING UP: Sharks fouls, a heavy metal New York Rangers jersey, when hockey meets boxing and unabashed displays of ethnic pride.)
And here ... we ... go.
Tony B. sent this one a few weeks back, but we were blown away by the other image he provided (The No. 69 'McLoven' Epic Fail) that we're just getting around to it:
I hate the Frankenstein jerseys but this one was well executed. Everything lines up at least. I think the "Finatic" name puts it into foul territory however.
Is this a personalized jersey or one that's available for purchase? In any event, it's a total Foul ... we just want to know where to direct the blame.
Speaking the San Jose Sharks, John G. sent over this sphincter-clenching potential Foul for Bruins fans:
Well, what do you think? Wearing the jersey for a team that isn't playing in the game is pretty Foul-ish. But there's something to be said for the sheer audacity of reminding Bruins fans of one of the franchise's lowest moments (depending how you feel about Jumbo Joe).
Like wearing a Luongo jersey to an Islanders game. Or a Chara jersey to an Islanders game. Or a ... well, we just don't have the time, do we?
Kurt Phillips is a guitarist for something called WARHAG, and sent over this image for the Puck Daddy community to judge:
Okay, I'm playing the cards on this one. I love your column and think it creates a lot of fun about hockey, while being delivered by people who really know their stuff about the best game in the world!!
Everything this guy said is true. Moving on:
I play in a metal band called, you guessed it, WARHAG. I am a nut for hockey and music, and wanna wear it LOUD ‘N PROUD. This jersey ain't a trophy, I wear it when I play. Even got a WARHAG patch on the back of my helmet. LOVE the Rangers colour and layout, but not really a super fan of the team, although Tortorella is gonna shake it up there, I hope. I see some pretty freaky jerseys on your blog, so I thought, how about a really awesome looking jersey. Hope you like it. THANKS for the great blog!!!
No, thank you Kurt. WARHAG is very much in the original six metal bands we've never heard of until now.
Puck Buddy Ben M. presents this genre-spanning Foul for boxer Manny Pacquiao:
A Facebook friend of mine got this jersey as a grand display of affection for his favourite boxer. For years, I have firmly believed the Canuck fan base is made up of mostly bandwagoners who care not for hockey (nor the unwritten code surrounding jerseys of any sport). The proof is in this photo.
Ovechkin slowly places his Ivan Drago Russian national team sweater back into under-bed storage ...
Your heart on your sleeve, and your nationality on your back?
Somewhere, Chris Tamer and Josef Melichar weep.
Jessica M. sends over this Red Wings baseball crossover:
Again, we leave it to you. This is clearly a product on the market. It's clearly a baseball game. Foul or no Foul when you're trying to rep your team in this manner?
At any rate, what an odd sight at a Tigers game. By that, we mean seeing a champion of any kind.