August 19, 2008
Every weekday in August, Puck Daddy presents "5 Ways I'd Change the NHL," in which a cross-section of sports media and hockey personalities offer solutions, suggestions and absurdities to remake the League to their liking. We're thrilled to have James Gordon, Ottawa Senators reporter for the Ottawa Citizen and editor of its Hockey Capital blog, contributing his list today ...
This is super cereal, as you can see:
1. If the NHL does only one thing over the next few years, it should be to extend commissioner Gary Bettman's contract to make it a lifetime pact à la Rick DiPietro. Bettman has unquestionably...what? This is supposed to be ways to IMPROVE the league? Crap. Sorry.
2. Chop the regular season schedule down to 72 games. Why is less hockey good for a hockey league? After NFL football (maybe), Rugby, MMA, boxing and bear wrestling, there aren't many sports that unleash more physical punishment on their athletes. Ever read one of those lists that comes out after the season revealing what the various "upper body" and "lower body injuries" suffered before and during the postseason really were? Fewer games = less fatigue = fewer injuries = more stars playing = faster, better game.
3. Relocation. Move the Phoenix Coyotes back to Winnipeg, move the Nashville Predators to Southern Ontario and the Florida Panthers to Quebec City. Why? Flame away Coyotes, Preds and Panthers fans, but the influx of die-hard hockey fans selling out Canadian rinks would be good for both the league's image (i.e. fewer barren arenas) and revenues.
4. Sell cheaper beer. Everything's more fun when you've had a few, even a 2-1 Vancouver-Minnesota struggle in the dead of January.
5. Pay James Gordon $1 million in consulting fees for more great ideas like these.
James Gordon actually participated in our silly "Gary Bettman: Portraits in Heroism" art contest. Coming up on Wednesday: Blogging veteran Tom Benjamin from Canucks Corner.