December 14, 2009
(Ed. Note: Travel day to the West Coast, so posting is going to be sporadic.)
Earlier this month, we introduced our latest Puck Daddy reader art contest: The "Create a Winter Classic Parade Float" competition, in which we asked you to help invent a virtual parade for the NHL's Jan. 1 event; one that would wilt the Tournament of Roses with its sheer genius and uninhibited snark.
As usual, you haven't disappointed.
Witness Shawn D's entry above titled "Holy (expletive) Bruce Boudreau can float!", in which the jovial Washington Capitals coach soars above the street while Alex Ovechkin(notes) parties in his all-star game get-up on the truck. (Hey, is that Pensblog Charlie we see in the right corner? Hmmm ...)
Coming up, the first gallery of entries. But first, to reset the contest: We're asking you to send in your drawings, paintings, Photoshops and any other electronically-submitted visual media that depicts your concept for a Winter Classic parade float; i.e. something that honors hockey players, teams, stories, legends or tabloid fodder.
Prizes are being furnished by Two Eight Nine Design, home of the awesome new Truculence T-shirts, and by The Fourth Period Magazine, the best hockey lifestyle magazine around. Deadline for submissions is Wednesday, Dec. 23 at noon EDT. E-mail contest entries (.jpgs preferred) to email@example.com. Judges are myself, Leahy and a 12-pack of Smithwick's.
Now, here's the first gallery, filled with floats, balloons and inappropriate hockey jokes throughout history -- including a few hilarious ones at the expense of the Chicago Blackhawks.
And here ... we ... go.
Please recall New York Islanders defenseman Brendan Witt's(notes) incredible take of automotive danger/corporate coffee/hockey player indestructibility as you take a gander at Steve C.'s wonderful tribute.
Only thing missing? Some reference to Witt's classic line "I'm a hockey player. I'm OK. No big deal," which rivals "Back off man, I'm a scientist" for its near-perfect assessment of occupational swagger.
Now, we wait for Ovechkin vs. Cloverfield monster.
The 6th Sens takes the classic Puck Daddy contest approach of "everything including the kitchen sink" in lampooning the Flyers on this float. They've got overpaid players jokes and Ray Emery(notes) jokes and violence jokes and Flyers-as-party-boys jokes. And the Liberty Bell-as-teeth, which is strange.
For the record, we didn't pick the Flyers to win the Cup; just the East. Which is bad enough.
As if Brandon Routh's career isn't miserable enough, he's now having Kevin Bieksa's head Photoshopped on his body.
Mazarin always brings it for our art contests. This float in honor of the constant state of self-congratulation that characterizes the John McDonough Chicago Blackhawks is an absolute bull's-eye.
We always love the Microsoft Paint entries because ... well, look at it.
This probably took Lucas S. around 72 hours to create, and we respect every awkward pixel of it in the same way we respect a performance of Shakespeare on public access television.
But none of the others featured Travis Bickle and a mercenary Marian Hossa(notes) holding a voodoo doll balloon. So kudos to you, James E., even if we feel there could have been so much more to this one given the topic and the scene.
As Cale P. so perfectly put it in his email: "Wouldn't be a proper parade without the Shriners."
No word if the Montreal Canadiens' vehicles are being powered by Booty Sweat or whatever the hell drink Georges Laraque was selling in that commercial.
Remember earlier when we talked about those entries that toss in everything including the kitchen sink?
Here's the unforgettable masterwork of Puck Buddy Paul C., who manages to cram Fenway Park with Internet memes from the Flyers (naked paint girl, overt violence), the Boston Bruins (Sea Bass, the flexing kid from the playoffs) and Puck Daddy (Gloating Bruins Fan), while tying it all together with Yankees bashing.
This thing is layered like a Tarantino movie. And nearly as bloody!
Finally, one that really blew us away ...
Alright, now you've seen the competition. The bar is set. You have until Dec. 23 to clear it!